Dating sites logic (=lack thereof)

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I don't think so - my profile also clearly states that I'm looking to make new friends, nothing more.

Best of luck with your search sly, I know it can be daunting.

I don't understand why anyone would go on a dating site who is in a relationship or to make friends.

It's a dating site, not a friendship site.

There are a surprising number of male profiles on OKC that say they are just looking for friends. In my age group, it may be more common than in younger age groups - pardon me for being blunt, but I suspect that male erectile dysfunction may have something to do with its relatively common occurrence in my age group.

A lot of people (especially my age and older) really are just looking for companionship and/or activity partners - dancing, playing cards, going out to eat, to movies, etc. In addition to the very real possibility of many older men who can no longer function sexually, I know a lot of older women who have lost interest in sex and romance, but would still like to have someone to hang out with. I pesonally don't have a problem with it.

And, hey, if it teaches people to read profiles more closely, all the better!

the problem with okc is when you join its default is friends only, so if they don't change that even though they seeking dates it says friends only, I've had women message me for possible relationship, and they like oh what i didn't know, then they change it.
I don't know how they'd go about fixing it though aside from telling people its the default


i'd never use okc for making friends um its just weird looking at other guys on a dating site, also i too afraid to make friends that way and wouldn't know how to start.

if its in your about you part then dang, though there all probably a bunch of guys that message solely based on pictures, i couldn't imagine doing that as i like to learn possible topics, but that could explain it especially if you're pretty.


as for polyamony there was a lady that was kinda interested in me but she had a gf in another state, and i didn't want to be some 3rd wheel or play thing to pass the time, whole thing is just weird to me

thanks , I don't know how much longer i can try, being rejected by 100s of women is upsetting, they all so picky about meterial things, which is best cause i don't want a woman who cares more about money then love.

like I said, that website is not all about dating. it's #1 point is to connect people based on their music taste.

Oh, well, I'm specifically looking for male friends, since I seem to get along with men better than I do with women. Up until I moved here (13 years ago), most of my friends were guys. After moving, I lost touch with all of them over a period of a few years for various reasons, mostly major changes in their life circumstances. I had a really close male friend here for many years until he passed away suddenly about 6 years ago (and I was married all through that friendship - my friend and my ex-husband were also close friends). Then my late fiance was my best friend before we got involved romantically. Now that he's gone, all my remaining friends are women who live far away. I'd love to have another guy friend to talk about (and work on) cars and bikes and science-y stuff with.

Sexist much?

If you can be the way you are, chances are other women exist who are similar. Maybe they are not as common but why look only for guys if you are just looking for friendship that caters to those particular topics? Perhaps there is something else males do that you find appealing, not just conversation topics

I'm not only looking for guy friends! It really is just that I know I'm more likely to find a male who is into those things than a female - probably on the order of a ratio of at least 10 to 1, if not much greater. At least that's been my experience in the past. And maybe there is another element of maleness that attracts me that I'm not consciously aware of....but I know that I seem to get along with about 40-50% of the men I meet (although very few on the "close friend" level); conversely, I only get along with 90% of women, even on the most superficial of levels. And when I say "get along" I mean "able to carry on a conversation with."

Meanwhile, I've got more female friends than I think I've ever had before (four who I would consider to be "close" friends), but none of them live near me! Two of my female friends I met through an online motorcycle forum, the third has been my BFF for 35 years, the fourth is my late fiance's sister. I have a couple of other couple-friends that I met through the motorcycle forum (again, they don't live here), and by the nature of the beast, they're not as close friends as I could potentially be with an unattached person.

How does one go about making friends - male or female - in a very small town? Believe me, my therapist and I have had many discussions about this; the best thing we can come up with is for me to move to a more populous area (the thought of which makes my hypersensitive Aspie side cringe a little - there's a reason I live in a totally rural area near a small town). In any case, I've got three years until I'm eligible for retirement from my current job. Unless I could get a job with the same organization in one of those bigger cities, it would be financial suicide to leave this job now. Currently, there are no openings - I've checked, and keep checking.

And - something always in the back of my mind - my late fiance and I "bonded" over those kinds of things, and he ended up being the love of my life after a period of friendship-only that helped him get over his ex-wife dumping him. Maybe it could happen again, in reverse.....

Afterthought: I do enjoy what I've heard described as "masculine energy," so that's probably another factor that's contributing. I like being around it. Don't know if that's my Aspie-ized "male brain" or just something that I've always had around me and, now that I don't, I miss it.