Why is everyone so miserable?

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Fnord
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09 Feb 2014, 9:08 am

Doesn't anyone know that there is a difference between misery and self-pity?



Cafeaulait
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09 Feb 2014, 9:17 am

I feel misarable because:

-I didn't get a contract renew from my job
-The boy I liked turned out dating another girl
-I think everything is wrong with me
-I have no hobbies
-I only have one friend, but I long for connection and companionship
-I just lay in bed all day not wanting to do anything
-All this makes me very afraid of the future



leafplant
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09 Feb 2014, 9:43 am

I am not miserable. I am annoyed at being expected to conform to someone else's idea of what constitutes acceptable form of self expression.



justkillingtime
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09 Feb 2014, 1:57 pm

Fnord wrote:
Doesn't anyone know that there is a difference between misery and self-pity?


Is self-pity a subset of misery?


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auntblabby
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09 Feb 2014, 2:23 pm

misery loves company.



Fnord
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09 Feb 2014, 9:49 pm

justkillingtime wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Doesn't anyone know that there is a difference between misery and self-pity?
Is self-pity a subset of misery?


mis·er·y (n):
1. wretchedness of condition or circumstances.
2. distress or suffering caused by need, privation, or poverty.
3. great mental or emotional distress; extreme unhappiness.

4. a cause or source of distress.

self-pit·y (n): pity for oneself, especially a self-indulgent attitude concerning one's own difficulties, hardships, etc.

Generally, misery is a feeling of distress or anxiety over one's circumstances, while self-pity is the excessive or unrestrained gratification of one's circumstance-induced misery.

Or, to put it more graphically, a miserable person might seek help to get out of his or her circumstances, while a self-pitying person might complain endlessly about his or her circumstances just for the attention, while ignoring or dismissing any advice or suggestions as to how to change their circumstances.



appletheclown
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09 Feb 2014, 10:57 pm

Fnord wrote:
justkillingtime wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Doesn't anyone know that there is a difference between misery and self-pity?
Is self-pity a subset of misery?


mis·er·y (n):
1. wretchedness of condition or circumstances.
2. distress or suffering caused by need, privation, or poverty.
3. great mental or emotional distress; extreme unhappiness.

4. a cause or source of distress.

self-pit·y (n): pity for oneself, especially a self-indulgent attitude concerning one's own difficulties, hardships, etc.

Generally, misery is a feeling of distress or anxiety over one's circumstances, while self-pity is the excessive or unrestrained gratification of one's circumstance-induced misery.

Or, to put it more graphically, a miserable person might seek help to get out of his or her circumstances, while a self-pitying person might complain endlessly about his or her circumstances just for the attention, while ignoring or dismissing any advice or suggestions as to how to change their circumstances.


I'm a happy person. So neither is correct.


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nick007
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10 Feb 2014, 12:08 am

I was pretty miserable here till I got my girlfriend a year & a half ago. The reasons I was miserable included, being trapped living with my parents because I had disabilities that make it impossible for me to drive & we lived in a rural area & I was(still am) on disability despite my best effort looking for a job. My parents put me down a lot & made me feel guilty because they felt I was too old to still be dependent on them & they believed I wasn't trying to look for a job & be independant because I was lazy & had it soo good living with them. I only had one offline friend who I didn't get to see that much. I was getting over the ending stages of a bad depression I had for 5 years; I quit seeing psychs & taking meds after 5 years & got alot better but I was still getting over things for a few more years. I was really lonely & wanting to find someone I could be myself with & share my life with because the only times before in my life I was really happy was when I was with my two exes & the breakup with my 1st is what triggered my depression. Thankfully a girl here read a lot of my posts & thought we could be really compatible. I moved across the country to move in with her a little over a year ago & I'm aLOT happier & better off here.


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justkillingtime
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10 Feb 2014, 1:08 am

Fnord wrote:
justkillingtime wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Doesn't anyone know that there is a difference between misery and self-pity?
Is self-pity a subset of misery?


mis·er·y (n):
1. wretchedness of condition or circumstances.
2. distress or suffering caused by need, privation, or poverty.
3. great mental or emotional distress; extreme unhappiness.

4. a cause or source of distress.

self-pit·y (n): pity for oneself, especially a self-indulgent attitude concerning one's own difficulties, hardships, etc.

Generally, misery is a feeling of distress or anxiety over one's circumstances, while self-pity is the excessive or unrestrained gratification of one's circumstance-induced misery.

Or, to put it more graphically, a miserable person might seek help to get out of his or her circumstances, while a self-pitying person might complain endlessly about his or her circumstances just for the attention, while ignoring or dismissing any advice or suggestions as to how to change their circumstances.


I know there can be too much complaining and self-pity but what about venting? I think it is healthy to do some complaining. I believe never complaining can be damaging. It might be compared to a machine that needs to give off heat to function.


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sly279
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10 Feb 2014, 1:12 am

misarable is as misarable does ;_;



nick007
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10 Feb 2014, 1:51 am

justkillingtime wrote:
Fnord wrote:
justkillingtime wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Doesn't anyone know that there is a difference between misery and self-pity?
Is self-pity a subset of misery?


mis·er·y (n):
1. wretchedness of condition or circumstances.
2. distress or suffering caused by need, privation, or poverty.
3. great mental or emotional distress; extreme unhappiness.

4. a cause or source of distress.

self-pit·y (n): pity for oneself, especially a self-indulgent attitude concerning one's own difficulties, hardships, etc.

Generally, misery is a feeling of distress or anxiety over one's circumstances, while self-pity is the excessive or unrestrained gratification of one's circumstance-induced misery.

Or, to put it more graphically, a miserable person might seek help to get out of his or her circumstances, while a self-pitying person might complain endlessly about his or her circumstances just for the attention, while ignoring or dismissing any advice or suggestions as to how to change their circumstances.


I know there can be too much complaining and self-pity but what about venting? I think it is healthy to do some complaining. I believe never complaining can be damaging. It might be compared to a machine that needs to give off heat to function.
I complained a lot & dismissed advice because I didn't think it would work for me. I sometimes(or lots of times) came off as attention seeking self-puttying & argumentative for the way I debated advice but debating like that helped me analyze things, sort things out & helped me feel better when others didn't get upset & caught up with my behavior.


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~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition