How to Mention a Dealbreaker on my Profile (Tattoos)?

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On second thought, I think you should mention it. Not really for the purpose of preventing tattooed women from messaging you (men generally don't get many massages I hear). But when YOU message women, they would read your profile and if they have tattoos they don't have to bother replying you.

Excellent point! It might result in even fewer replies but at least I am upfront about it. I might soften it a bit by saying I am not a fan of tattoos/piercings rather than slamming anyone would feels differently. I just worry about being seen as too square or a Conservative Christian when I am far from those things.

I agree with goldfish. Oddly enough, my ex-boyfriend has the exact same dealbreaker (tattoos and unconventional piercings), and he has been diagnosed with Asperger's. I don't have any! When he would describe why he hated tattoos so much he would express a deep exhasparation over why someone would voluntarily mutilate/scar/maim themselves and just talking about it he would start to sound panicky and irrational (though he is the king of rational thinking). I think to him, looking at someone's big arm or back tattoo was akin to looking at someone's big old gaping wound/infection. It also sounded like he found them visually arresting in a way resented (having his attention captured like that). I *think* that when he looked at them, he would have something kind of like an eye contact meltdown?

FWIW, I mention that I smoke in my profile, because that's a dealbreaker for a lot of people. I also mention my political and religious leanings, because those are potentially dealbreakers, too. And I do appreciate when guys put their dealbreakers in their profile, so I don't have to go rummage around through all their questions to find out if they're intolerant of smokers (again, this is on OKCupid). YMMV.

I don't, however, mention my tattoos. As it turns out, a lot of men my age *think* they won't tolerate tattoos, but actually like mine when they see them (not that I'm saying that's how you are). I actually kind of get where you're coming from on not liking them on women your age.....by the time they get to be my age, the tattoos might look like crap. Even if the subject matter is tasteful, they do fade and need touchups.

Further, younger people don't always seem to put that much thought into getting a tattoo. Mine are truly art, and not of things that I will get tired of/lose interest in. I didn't get any of them until I was over 50, and none of them were done on impulse - there was a lot of thinking and planning that went into them (some of them took years to come to fruition). Frankly, I wouldn't be that crazy about dating a guy that has a lot of "flash" (tattoo jargon for small, inexpensive "pop art" type tattoos).

I always wait 3-5 years from making the decision to get one to actually getting one. Plus 3/4ths of them I don't see anyway (on my back) so I doubt they'll bother me too much in the future anyway lol.

All mean a lot to me, from Snoopy who is there for my dearest friends (one of whom happens to be a Beagle) to my Lions tattoos (if our oldest member can be a Lions fan for 106 years then I think I'll be fine too) to my dragon.

to each his or her own, but I suspect that tattooed people best associate with other tattooed people, as they are probably two different personality types.

Maybe you can casually mention it in the "message me if" section. Something like "I'm not a big fan of tattoos/piercing. Sorry!"

It'd be ok if you don't start listing other deal breakers.

Btw I don't have any tattoos but I like them on other people. Especially if they were not typical tattoo designs.

I agree that tattoos and piercings are hideous, but as most men have them I could overlook one or two tattoos! My most recent ex had one on his shoulder blade. My deal breaker is shaved heads. Men with shaved heads and buzz cuts are scary looking and not attractive at all.

IOW no military. anyways, god made a few perfect heads, the rest he covered with hair.

Last edited by auntblabby on 13 Feb 2014, 3:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

Oh, I like tattooed ladies just fine! It's some tattoos that I don't like.


Ooo ... "In search of the hidden tattoo" ... one of my favorite games!

How do you like Shenron from Dragon Ball Z?



*slap*

I don't agree that whether or not you have a tattoo is necessarily an indication of your personality type. Stereotyping people based on their appearance is not a good idea.

There are plenty of people with tattoos who are shy, retiring, respectable, conformist individuals. Equally well, there are plenty of people without tattoos who are loud, rebellious, nasty, foul-mouthed, aggressive louts.

I suspect the OP's preference for tattoos is more a question of body (or, rather, skin) types. Specifically, he has a preference for unblemished (non-tattooed) skin versus tattooed skin.

What I'm getting at is that he said he finds tattoos ugly. He did not say that he finds the personalities of tattooed people objectionable.

There's nothing wrong with listing dealbreakers, in my opinion. It makes perfect sense to me that if you cannot tolerate something, you would put it up front, so that you'd never waste your time with someone you are quite sure you wouldn't be compatible with.

If someone's going to 'take it personally' and get offended over some random Internet stranger (you) being honest, then that's just another great reason to avoid them. I've seen more than a few profiles that explicitly rule-out things that apply to me, and it doesn't bother me; I appreciate that the person has posted it.

I have an aversion to tattoos, myself, but not quite as strong as yours, I could deal with it if her personality really works with mine. It's more of a superficial disliking that I would "prefer not" in ideal conditions, but that I'm not going to go out of my way to make a big deal out of.

This^^^

I don't really understand how voicing a dislike of tattoos is going to limit him to judgmental people - it's going to limit him to people who don't have tattoos. Just as disliking smoking will limit him to non-smokers.