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If you tell them your an aspie they will dump you!

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yellowtamarin
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16 Mar 2014, 12:29 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
Well sometimes it might be my INTJ personality type which is not the most compatible with most NTs. Sometimes I just feel like I have to hide myself for relationships to work because there are still a lot who do not understand and instantly assume high maintinence. Sorry for the generalizations of NTs I just get frustrated at times I just wish I could open up but fear rejection because of it and it usually results in that. It hurts it hurts a lot and I try to change myself to try and fit the expectations of others but it is emotionally draining.

Don't date "most NTs", date other INTJs :)

I advocate finding people who suit you , not changing yourself to suit others.

I'm an INTJ/ISTJ myself, so I do get what you mean. If you are super picky like me you will only date the more compatible people. That comes with its own problems, but I'd personally rather never find anyone than live a lie with someone.



hale_bopp
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16 Mar 2014, 5:22 am

Depends. If they aren't an awful person, they won't be bothered by it.

I don't think I've met anyone that has been bothered by the fact I have aspergers. If they're bothered by me, its something unrelated.



leafplant
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16 Mar 2014, 5:42 am

If someone dumps you - turn around and thank them profusely for saving you from months or years of unsatisfactory or even painful life. And then go on with a skip hop and jump in pursuit of someone more suitable. Or not. I am not the boss of you.



TheMighty_Moo
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16 Mar 2014, 7:40 am

I don't really think that NT's who we can get along pretty well have any issues with our behaviour because they know that this is our nature and they know how colourful and amazing it is. We're awesome. They just tend to get mildly amazed and curious at first, but they handle it. Give some more details on the subject if this isn't the case. I'm interested in hearing your thoughts about this, pal.


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GregCav
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16 Mar 2014, 7:55 am

I've dated quite a few women through a dating service now, all NT's. I've always been honest and up front about having Aspergers, because I don't want them to accuse me of tricking them, or hiding my true personality. I don't want them to have any reason to accuse me of decipt of any kind.

So far I've heard some very strange and suspicious reasons why they don't want to have a second date with me. None of them were because they didn't like me.

So, it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest to believe this is common.

But at the same time, Austism is not understood by the majority of the population.



savvyidentity
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16 Mar 2014, 9:55 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
Its true if you tell them your an aspie off the bat they will dump you and if they find out later they will dump you there has to be somewhere inbetween when dating NTs.


Just don't give people an opportunity to misunderstand it, if you like you don't have to tell them at all. Let them make up their own minds, then let them know if ever it seems important. I don't see you being dumped honestly if you're with someone, clearly they've already made up their mind about you.



AspieOtaku
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16 Mar 2014, 11:00 am

leafplant wrote:
If someone dumps you - turn around and thank them profusely for saving you from months or years of unsatisfactory or even painful life. And then go on with a skip hop and jump in pursuit of someone more suitable. Or not. I am not the boss of you.
..Or I could tell them to buy themself a cucumber because thats all they are going to get for being shallow.


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Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
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leafplant
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16 Mar 2014, 11:17 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
leafplant wrote:
If someone dumps you - turn around and thank them profusely for saving you from months or years of unsatisfactory or even painful life. And then go on with a skip hop and jump in pursuit of someone more suitable. Or not. I am not the boss of you.
..Or I could tell them to buy themself a cucumber because thats all they are going to get for being shallow.


Sure, if you want to be crude and obnoxious yourself, go right ahead.



AspieOtaku
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16 Mar 2014, 12:59 pm

leafplant wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
leafplant wrote:
If someone dumps you - turn around and thank them profusely for saving you from months or years of unsatisfactory or even painful life. And then go on with a skip hop and jump in pursuit of someone more suitable. Or not. I am not the boss of you.
..Or I could tell them to buy themself a cucumber because thats all they are going to get for being shallow.


Sure, if you want to be crude and obnoxious yourself, go right ahead.
I believe in treating others the way I want to been treated if they are nice to me ill be nice back but if they area mean to me ill been mean back im tired of being a doormat.


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Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList


Last edited by AspieOtaku on 16 Mar 2014, 6:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

GivePeaceAChance
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16 Mar 2014, 2:30 pm

AspieOtaku wrote:
leafplant wrote:
If someone dumps you - turn around and thank them profusely for saving you from months or years of unsatisfactory or even painful life. And then go on with a skip hop and jump in pursuit of someone more suitable. Or not. I am not the boss of you.
..Or I could tell them to buy themself a cucumber because thats all they are going to get for being shallow.


wow, not wanting be with you = "can't get anyone" - talk about an egomaniac


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salamandaqwerty
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16 Mar 2014, 3:29 pm

TheGoggles wrote:
No, this is not necessarily true. You're just posting an insecurity you have and hoping that other people will confirm it. Again.


^^
Yup


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starkid
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16 Mar 2014, 4:14 pm

Maybe people are assuming that having AS is a huge deal because you bring it up so early in the relationship. That mixed with most people not really understanding AS leads them to get scared and confused, and they don't wanna deal with those feelings and bounce.



TheGoggles
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16 Mar 2014, 7:15 pm

AspieOtaku wrote:
I believe in treating others the way I want to been treated if they are nice to me ill be nice back but if they area mean to me ill been mean back


That's....not how the golden rule works.



FireyInspiration
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16 Mar 2014, 8:08 pm

Some people might, but if they do, they're probably not the type of person you'd want to be dating in the first place.



AspieOtaku
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17 Mar 2014, 4:08 am

TheGoggles wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
I believe in treating others the way I want to been treated if they are nice to me ill be nice back but if they area mean to me ill been mean back


That's....not how the golden rule works.
So just let people walk all over you does? So if someone treats me like garbage I should just sit back and let them and kiss their feet?


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Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList


yellowtamarin
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17 Mar 2014, 4:16 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
TheGoggles wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
I believe in treating others the way I want to been treated if they are nice to me ill be nice back but if they area mean to me ill been mean back


That's....not how the golden rule works.
So just let people walk all over you does? So if someone treats me like garbage I should just sit back and let them and kiss their feet?

Well if you believe in treating others the way you want to be treated, then by being mean (back), you are saying you want to be treated mean.