Some of you may find this article informative on how male and female sexual responses differ.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magaz ... ted=1&_r=0
The vagina is likely to moisten in response to a wide variety of stimuli (compared to the likelihood of a penis stiffening), but, often women claim that they aren't turned on when their vaginae indicate otherwise. For men, the cognitive and physiological sexual responses are more synchronous.
Women seem to lubricate, if only protectively, to hints of sex in their surroundings.
It also turns out that intimacy isn't much of a turn on for women. In listening to audiotaped stories, women had the greatest levels of sexual arousal when the story was about sex with a stranger (versus sex with a long-time lover).
Quote:
Female desire...is not governed by the relational factors that, we like to think, rule women’s sexuality as opposed to men’s....
...women’s desire is not relational, it’s narcissistic” — it is dominated by the yearnings of “self-love,” by the wish to be the object of erotic admiration and sexual need. Still on the subject of narcissism, she talked about research indicating that, in comparison with men, women’s erotic fantasies center less on giving pleasure and more on getting it. “When it comes to desire,” she added, “women may be far less relational than men.”....
....Meana spoke about two elements that contribute to her thinking: first, a great deal of data showing that, as measured by the frequency of fantasy, masturbation and sexual activity, women have a lower sex drive than men, and second, research suggesting that within long-term relationships, women are more likely than men to lose interest in sex. Meana posits that it takes a greater jolt, a more significant stimulus, to switch on a woman’s libido than a man’s....
....A symbolic scene ran through Meana’s talk of female lust: a woman pinned against an alley wall, being ravished. Here, in Meana’s vision, was an emblem of female heat. The ravisher is so overcome by a craving focused on this particular woman that he cannot contain himself; he transgresses societal codes in order to seize her, and she, feeling herself to be the unique object of his desire, is electrified by her own reactive charge and surrenders....
...Yet while Meana minimized the role of relationships in stoking desire, she didn’t dispense with the sexual relevance, for women, of being cared for and protected. “What women want is a real dilemma.....Women want to be thrown up against a wall but not truly endangered. Women want a caveman and caring. If I had to pick an actor who embodies all the qualities, all the contradictions, it would be Denzel Washington. He communicates that kind of power and that he is a good man.”...
Even lots of married men find themselves "friendzoned" by their wives after 20 years.
Another interesting article
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/bil ... he-bedroom Ogi Ogas wrote:
...One sexual enigma perplexes both women and their clinicians: Why do so many American women have difficulties in bed?
Twice as many women as men report trouble getting turned on. Health professionals report that low desire is the most common sexual complaint they hear from women. Though several factors specific to the design of the female brain contribute to this problem, there is one important psychological factor that may be unique to modern democracies. This factor is one of the unmentionables of sexual science, but since our book is filled with unmentionables, we'll whisper it here: GENDER EQUALITY INHIBITS AROUSAL
The majority of women have submission fantasies. From classic romance The Flame and The Flower to classic erotica The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty to Twilight BDSM fan fiction, submission themes are immensely popular in cross-cultural female erotica. The fact of the matter is that most heterosexual women are wired to find sexual submission arousing--and so are most female mammals....
...Though a woman's preference for physical sexual submission appears to be controlled by the unconscious, inaccessible subcortical part of her brain, this unconscious physical preference is complemented by an independent psychological preference for dominant men. Almost every quality of dominant males triggers arousal in the female brain: dominant scents, dominant gaits, deep voices, height, displays of wealth. Romance heroes are almost always high status alpha males—billionaires, barons, surgeons, sheriffs. Avon Books and Ellora's Cave feature no heroes who are kindergarten teachers, accountants, or plumbers. Even though there's been a trend away from the conspicuously rapey bodice-rippers of the seventies and eighties, women still want strong, dominant men.
"I think this is one of the problems we're having in romance in general right now: our heroes have gotten a little too PC. We're portraying men the way feminist ideals say they should be—respectful and consensus-building," muses erotic romance (EroRom) author Angela Knight. "Yet women like bad boys. I suspect that's because our inner cavewoman knows Doormat Man would become Sabertooth Tiger Lunch in short order. In fact, this may be one reason why EroRom is gaining popularity so fast--writers feel free to write dominant heroes with more of an edge."....
So, if you want some sex, then you might want to study up on some of the PUA techniques.
22 Mar 2014, 7:29 pm
anybody that does such to me is on my more or less permanent PNG list. and body language is just so primitive, humans are supposed to have evolved past all that atavistic stuff.
