Man-to-man question.

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Is it about the money or wanting to do a specific thing or just needing to be out of the house?

I don't like the stay at home idea (yet circumstances might force one to stay).
Maybe because I was raised by two working parents.

I don't use dating sites, but for dating generally, I'd say stop thinking in terms of serious relationships and marriage. Misaligned hopes and expectations are going to cause difficulties from the start. Take it one step at a time. You only need to be a good enough prospect to spend a date with. That could be as little as an hour over lunch, or a picnic in the park if you're skint. If anything develops from that it's got to happen naturally.

Id just be open about it and say you're starting over. Make it clear that you know you've got nothing to offer apart from a few hours of hopefully enjoyable company, and you're not expecting anything yourself.

I must admit, I don't know how you would apply this to online dating where the first "date" is replaced by messaging back and forth.

^ The first date is when you meet the person, any form of communication before that is not date at all.

Anyway, let's not go too off topic, I am curious to see what the jobless men here have to say.

You would be very lucky to find a woman at the 30 age range who's not thinking in terms of serious relationship from the start.

That's the weird thing about online dating to me.. but anyway, as you say, back on topic



Of course, but that doesn't mean they only go out with potential marriage material. Sometimes they just want to have a good evening, or do something with a guy rather than alone.

Although it is school, I have actually concluded working in a machine shop is fulfilling and worth it. I get there early because I'd rather be there than on lunch break with no food. It is wonderful! Our instructor/boss is pretty awesome as well. I can't get a job, but that is why I am learning, because working for free and learning how to machine metal into parts is like a GF, or a restored El Camino. You on your way to being self-supporting and no longer miserable. That is why I think work is fun. If GF's were my only source of happiness, I'd already have one. Besides my GF might think I'm clingy or something.

Personally still think dating sites are one of the worst things to come to human socializing. It just conditions people to be super picky and gives them way to many choices based on superficial crap. This is the exact wrong thing to be when trying to get to know people.

Boo you are completely right on the job search thing. The simple fact is a guy is worth what he can provide and ya there are some rare exceptions people can try to think up but not at an older age. Work has always been my replacement for a social life and it provides a relief from some stress because money is awesome and keeps your mind occupied.

Yes, dating sites are about superficial crap, but what isn't? First impressions are always about superficial crap. If you've got any tips on how to avoid this problem, I would appreciate you sharing them.


I found keeping a job way easier than finding a gf, let alone sustaining a relationship with someone. I think that for all of us, there will always be a decent job if we make the effort to find it. But for a gf, you need the qualities that are not possible to acquire no matter how hard you work on yourself. Most people have those, but some just happen to be born without them.