Is it cheating?

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what are you gonna do when she grows cold on you? if she cuckolded her hubby she will do the same for you, eventually, when something fresh comes along.

And how do you think her partner feels about your relationship? I would imagine that if he found out, he would feel.......alone, isolated, and despondent.

the OP doesn't get it.

I haven't thought that far ahead really, just trying to make the most of it, there are some men on here who haven't had a sexual relationship with a woman let alone with one who is a woman of their fantasies. It's not every day that a woman like her sets out to seduce me.

Perhaps. Yet, the OP must know something is not 100% kosher. Otherwise, he wouldn't have posted the question in the first place.

the important thing is not to let your "other head" do all the thinking for you.

just understand that one of those guys chasing her around is going to be the guy that she cheats on you with. people who cheat on their SOs want to have their cake and eat it too, and they rarely change as long as what they're doing works. and it sounds like it's working for her, so don't expect her to be magically different with you than she is the other men she uses. think about it--every time she goes home to her hubby, she is pretending nothing is wrong, she's lying to him, she's making excuses for being absent/late, she's likely sleeping with him and not letting him know that she's exposing him to the risk of contracting STDs because she is being sexually active outside the relationship--and she's still able to sleep at night and keep on doing what she's doing. this is someone worthy of your love and admiration???

edit*--also consider this: if she is lying to her SO about where she goes/what she's doing/who she's doing it with, then how do you know this "deep emotional connection" you share with her is not also based on lies she's told you? if she is lying to him, odds are she is already lying to you, too. is it really worth being treated like crap by someone if that someone is beautiful, does that really justify what she does?

Last edited by starvingartist on 22 Apr 2014, 4:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

don't get sucked into the whirlwind of a sociopathic sort which is likely what your fun gal is.

it sounds to me like rather than a deep emotional connection, what you two are actually doing is using each other to boost your self-esteem: she is getting "validated" by having all these men chase her and picking and choosing between which ones she likes best at any given time, and you are getting validated because such a "beautiful" woman is interested in you. that's not an emotional connection, that's baggage on both your parts preventing you from seeing how things really are.

honestly, she will make you feel worse in the end than you did before you met her--don't waste your time. find someone who genuinely cares for you as an individual; that's a much more effective way to feel good about yourself.

You are not cheating. The term for you is "home-wrecker". More often used when the cheater has kids but it can still be used if it's just a two-person family you are "wrecking".

F**** POETRY MAN!

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 22 Apr 2014, 6:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

some folk just don't get the golden rule. it is beyond them in the same manner that a doorknob is beyond most cats.

nah I get it but I was trying to post a funny pic but WP keeps messing it up.

On a serious note, the OP is just showing off.

I was referring to the OP not understanding the golden rule.

What strikes me first is the question in your title. An interesting use of the passive voice. Not 'am I cheating', but 'is it cheating'.

The next is I wonder if you really meant to ask, 'is it wrong?'. Surely you'd know a single person can't cheat, and that whatever term may apply to your actions/role, it's unlikely to be a positive one. So then, your question guarantees the answer, 'no'. Whereas 'is it wrong' might bring, as it has when rephrased so, a 'yes'.

That you felt the need to ask any question on the matter suggests you are in some way uneasy about the morality of the matter.

We don't know the solidity or otherwise of the woman's relationship with her SO. Has she said anything to you about it? Has she suggested anything in the way of leaving him for you? It may be you've saved her from the shittiness of enduring a terrible relationship that is on its last legs, it being so being known to her SO, and that if you'd have met a few months down the line, she'd have been single and you would both have been free to pursue the relationship guilt free, the only difference with this way being you have something of a queasy beginning to look back on.

This doesn't seem like that, though. It will be over at some point, sooner rather than later. Either she'll move onto someone else, all the while staying 'taken', or she'll make a move to make it serious with you, and then it won't be fun anymore. And when she's with you, and it's no fun anymore, and she's got all these men turning their heads, it'll be your turn to hear her convincing lies as to where she was or why her phone was turned off.

As starvingartist said, it's unlikely you share a deep emotional connection. Rather, your circumstantial needs have happily (for yourselves) complemented each other, and create an intensity that otherwise wouldn't be there. So, you can steal time together, all the while knowing it's rare and fleeting, and you can have intense sex, and feel special, and perhaps muse on how it could be if her SO was out of the way (it would be terrible, as these things usually are - such relationships are built on their very impossibility, because of, not in spite of, the obstruction). You do not care for each other beyond what the other can do for you.

You speak of a 'deep emotional connection'. yet you haven't thought far ahead, are 'trying to make the most of it' and seem mostly impressed by the fact you were seduced by and are sleeping with someone of this (apparent) beauty.

You feel connected to the world because you've fallen for her. Rather, you've fallen for the fantasy of her. A beautiful woman, already 'taken' and regularly 'chased' seduces you - I mean, wow!, right? That makes you very special, no? A fantasy to life. Only it's not a fantasy, it's reality.

And as Stargazer43 said, how do you suppose her SO would feel, if he knew? This is his reality, too, one you're helping to make pretty rotten.

I suspect the OP will have to learn the hard way.