Being Creepy

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I said something creepy to him. It was pretty creepy. How is that his fault? It's mine.

What may be "creepy" to one person may actually be hilarious/cool/etc to another. You shouldn't feel bad about expressing yourself. If you made a mistake it wasn't saying something "creepy" it was misjudging who the person on the receiving end was-- this a common pitfall for an aspie. So don't beat yourself up, just chalk it up to a learning experience.

Besides, if he truly thinks you're "creepy" there are some advantages. 1. Now you can say all the "creepy" sh*t you want around him without fear of judgement, because it's already been passed. 2. If you were interested in him in a non-platonic way now you know he's just not cool enough for you so you can stop wasting time and move on. 3. Now if you need something from him at work you can play "threatening" and since he thinks you're creepy it will most likely scare him into compliance.

Previously, you said "... I said something pretty creepy to a guy at work. But he has a decent sense of humour, I thought he would be cool with it. Bad judgement." From what you describe, he probably didn't apply his usual sense of humor. From what I can tell, he is applying a different interpretive standard to you, possibly based on your autism. So, if there was some bad judgement on your part, it was probably expecting him to treat you in the same way as an NT. If he discriminates between people that way, he has the flaw. Ultimately, if you are going to criticize yourself, the only criticism would be that you didn't recognize him as a bigot.

It seems more likely to have come down to sex rather than autism. Women get held to different standards of creepiness, at least here in Texas. I expect that the same applies on the other side of the world.

I always say "thank you" when someone calls me "weird".

I'd be upset if someone called me "normal" or "boring" or something.

"Creepy", Idunno...it used to bother me because I didn't know what I was doing that was creepy, but now I just kind of accept it as being unavoidable. I even mention it on my OkCupid profile =| Sometimes I act creepy on purpose though, maybe that kind of evens it out, like a double-bluff or something?

Prudes probably find me creepy. Let 'em.

lol i got called this last night in casual conversation. Inner stimulus and thoughts can translate poorly when filtered thru a sensory overloaded mind. I think most of our "creepy" thoughts and verses initiate the same way the do for a NT but are merely expressed in an unusual manner.

I'm pretty sure the guy told someone about this because this woman keeps giving me strange looks.

Grrrr.

I can't believe I let my guard down.

It's ok, you've learned to not say things that would be perceived as creepy by others.

I think when people have said "Hahaha, you're so crazy..." they actually meant "creepy". I tend to be humorous in order to cover up my traits. Sometimes, people look at me with this face > or this > and then ignore me. I think people are trying to be nice and not call me creepy. Oddly, the things I have said that get those reactions are not very creepy. An example:

I got bought mouthwash! It's pink and tastes like bubblegum! BUBBLEGUM!

The actual "creepy" stuff I say people usually laugh at. If I was a biological male, I bet people would stay far, far away from me. Well, more than they already do.

Do you get called "crazy" too? What did you say that was perceived as "creepy"?

It was more about trusting him too much. I knew it was a weird thing to say, but I thought he would be cool with it.

So what was it to be that bad? "I want to rape your sexy ass!", something like that?

This brings to mind another angle. Could he be one of those people who says one thing verbally, then contradicts or nullifies what he said non-verbally? A minority of neurotypicals are very, very indirect and almost never verbally say what they mean. You can get fooled by them, because they actually change personas, having one way of communicating by email, another by telephone, and a third in-person. I wonder if he verbally projects all sorts of little falsehoods that he modifies non-verbally.

POST EDIT: During my career, I've been an employee, contractor, or done some consulting functions for large companies, including John Deere, Corning, Alcoa, Cargill, Microsoft, State Farm Insurance, Allstate Insurance, and a bunch more. In all of those companies, politics is thick. I've learned there are three primary groups who regularly use non-verbal contradictions: 1) Those who are indirect by individual nature or culture - for some, indirectness is an avoidant behavior; 2) Those who tend to build deniability into their communications - not outright dishonest, but politically savvy; and 3) Those for whom dishonesty is a fundamental part of their character. Does you co-worker fit any of those?

He isn't the problem here, it's me, no matter what angle it's looked at.

And I know I messed up.

I don't mind being called "weird"; I would hate to be called "creepy"--since I'm a guy, and "creepy"=pervert.

I've been called "weird" for at least the past 40 years--consistently. Never been called "creepy," though.

You seem to be all right, Hale Bopp. At least you don't advocate that people wallow in their problems.