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cberg
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14 Jun 2014, 3:26 pm

All most of us honestly need is good tea or a quiet car - the world tends to stay back. Sure, weird habits are the norm but it comes with this territory. My job rocks too...


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wowiexist
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14 Jun 2014, 4:58 pm

I am definitely shy and I will tell you that I am always relieved if a girl makes the first move on me so that I don't have to.



creativeconsumption
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15 Jun 2014, 7:42 am

Oh yes but the most relevant question is; if a girl/guy/whatever takes the first step, would you then just wait for them to take the next couple of steps also? Because if i take the first step, it would be to show him that he is allowed to take some steps too. Is this nonsense? Haha I might just wait for the last day of work and go "yeah, so I liked you all this time, goodbye and have a nice life!"



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15 Jun 2014, 12:21 pm

Toy_Soldier wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
Nono I mean like if he likes Lego, talk about that. If he likes Star Wars, talk about that. Or Anime. You should usually be able to tell what he's obsessed with by what kind of kitsch he has around his cubicle/office space or his screensaver or background screen image.


I don't think she wants to meet this guy to play with Legos. :lol:

*noogies* No but if say Legos is his special interest (for instance) that might open the door to other things :wink:



Shebakoby
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15 Jun 2014, 12:23 pm

wowiexist wrote:
I am definitely shy and I will tell you that I am always relieved if a girl makes the first move on me so that I don't have to.


The problem with that is it is impossible to tell if a guy likes a girl or not. And a lot of girls have been conditioned that asking the guy is embarrasing for the guy and will cause him to say no.



Ferrus91
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15 Jun 2014, 8:59 pm

Shebakoby wrote:
The problem with that is it is impossible to tell if a guy likes a girl or not.
Only if you are autistic. And vice-versa. Plenty of NTs an pick up and manipulate these things. It's really about mapping your perception of someones behaviour, facial expressions and body language to a theory of mind.



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15 Jun 2014, 10:07 pm

In over 95% of my relationships the women ask me out! Im not good at approaching out of fear of rejection and laughed at and fear of being accused of sexual harrassment so I just don't. Yes just asking a woman out for a cup of coffee can be grounds of sexual harrassment even outside of work! Asking a woman out is a gamble and I just don't take those chances!


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Shebakoby
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19 Jun 2014, 3:16 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
In over 95% of my relationships the women ask me out! Im not good at approaching out of fear of rejection and laughed at and fear of being accused of sexual harrassment so I just don't. Yes just asking a woman out for a cup of coffee can be grounds of sexual harrassment even outside of work! Asking a woman out is a gamble and I just don't take those chances!


I've never observed anyone asking another person out.



cberg
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19 Jun 2014, 10:33 am

creativeconsumption wrote:
Oh yes but the most relevant question is; if a girl/guy/whatever takes the first step, would you then just wait for them to take the next couple of steps also? Because if i take the first step, it would be to show him that he is allowed to take some steps too. Is this nonsense? Haha I might just wait for the last day of work and go "yeah, so I liked you all this time, goodbye and have a nice life!"


Arranging dates tends to happen sometime during 24 hours, when this data-point changes, things get confusing...


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creativeconsumption
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24 Jun 2014, 12:40 pm

I talked to him today about his work. And oh my God he is SOOO talented. So I asked him questions, and he actually told some things without me asking. And, of course i told his coworkers how beautiful it was(they showed it to me at first) while he was listening, and i could see him fighting to not smile and blush HAHA he is so cute. I guess its a good sign that he is able to speak.



CrinklyCrustacean
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25 Jun 2014, 4:41 am

Probably time to ask him out :)



rdos
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25 Jun 2014, 5:30 am

Ferrus91 wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
The problem with that is it is impossible to tell if a guy likes a girl or not.
Only if you are autistic. And vice-versa. Plenty of NTs an pick up and manipulate these things. It's really about mapping your perception of someones behaviour, facial expressions and body language to a theory of mind.


Not at all. As an autistic, I find it really easy to know if a neurodiverse girl is interested. For neurotypical girls, I have no idea, and even if I knew, I wouldn't be able to approach them and talk to them anyway.

The simple recipe for neurodiverse people interested in "dating" other neurodiverse people is to drop all the junk they have learned about NTs and how dating is supposed to work and start acting naturally instead.



CrinklyCrustacean
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25 Jun 2014, 6:21 am

rdos wrote:
Not at all. As an autistic, I find it really easy to know if a neurodiverse girl is interested.

Not to derail the thread, but what is the difference between the way neurodiverse girls show they are interested and neurotypical girls show they are interested?



rdos
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25 Jun 2014, 6:36 am

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
rdos wrote:
Not at all. As an autistic, I find it really easy to know if a neurodiverse girl is interested.

Not to derail the thread, but in what way do neurodiverse girls show they are interested?


In much the same ways as neurotypical (nonverbal communication), but the signals are different. You should be especially observant of eye contact (quick glances), If she does this repeatedly, you can be pretty sure she is neurodiverse, and probably interested as well., The same goes for guys, I'm sure. If you can sustain this over a longer period of time, you can be pretty sure they are interested.



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25 Jun 2014, 7:01 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
In over 95% of my relationships the women ask me out!


So... in 96%? That would mean in 24 out of 25 relationships, which is quite a few!

Anyway, literal-mindedness aside... if this happened to you even 3 out of 4 times you're either very good looking or very attractive in some other way or just very lucky.


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creativeconsumption
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25 Jun 2014, 11:29 am

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
rdos wrote:
Not at all. As an autistic, I find it really easy to know if a neurodiverse girl is interested.

Not to derail the thread, but what is the difference between the way neurodiverse girls show they are interested and neurotypical girls show they are interested?


Well, since we dont pick up on body language that much, we dont really send out any. Its like animals that camouflage their skin from what they see on their surroundings. The blind ones skin go black.