Want to chat to strangers in the street? Get a dog!

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Good morning!

I was being a little tongue in cheek when I posted this last night, so should clarify and expand a little.

Tarantella is right - no one should get a dog simply as a prop or a means to meet people - that would be creepy. Dogs are living creatures who require affection, care, attention and cost money to feed and look after. But, if you do like dogs, have considered getting one, and have the means to look after one, then this is one more positive aspect to dog ownership. If you can tick all the boxes here, apart from the one about having the means to look after a dog, and there's an animal shelter close by, then you can spend time with a dog, and do a good deed at the same time!

So for the rest of my post, I'm working on the basis that if you consider getting a dog, it's based on a liking for and interest in dogs.

I have a dog, and I posted this in relation to meeting people because of the threads, currently and in the past (it's a recurring theme here) about appropriate ways to strike up conversations with people you meet in public aka "hot strangers in the street". Yesterday, I left my dog tied up outside a shop while I went in very quickly to get a couple of things. When I came out there were a couple of women standing talking to my dog, and I ended up having a conversation first with them - about dogs and cats, pain of losing them, the local dog shelter etc. As I stopped speaking to them, another woman who was passing asked about my dog and I then spent 5 minutes or so talking to her. I spent more time outside that shop talking to people than I did inside doing my shopping.

Now, these were just one-off encounters, although I do shop there regularly, so if these women see me another time they might say hello. I won't recognise them again because it takes me a long time to remember people's faces. However, I can see this type of conversation being a positive thing for those people who post on here saying that they struggle to talk to people at all, and talking to people of the sex/gender they are sexually/romantically attracted to is particularly difficult. Having a dog with you does, certainly where I live, mean that you have the opportunity to have a brief conversation with others. There is no pressure to come up with topics of conversation, because the dog does that! The dog is the focus - and if you have a dog you know the answers to the kind of questions that will be asked - breed, age, from an animal shelter, etc? You will be knowledgeable about your dog and aspects of dogdom, so it will be easier to speak about that - and the other person is interested or they wouldn't have stopped/asked.

So, having a dog is a good thing when it comes to being more relaxed about casual conversations with no pressure to establish or maintain a relationship.

If you are looking for friendship or a relationship? Lots of people with dogs have a routine - where they walk, when they walk. Chances are that you will get to know people better over time as you regularly see each other out walking your dog. If you're interested, and the other person is too, then you have a chance to get to know each other more naturally, over time, walking your dogs together, and maybe being able to get a coffee or ice-cream together in a park cafe or somewhere like that. In addition, there are dog training and dog agility classes, and, something I'd like to get involved in, canicross clubs or groups, when you meet up to go running with your dogs!

I'm not saying having a dog is going to get you a date, but it will mean that you have increased interaction with others, and from that, who knows, something may develop. Even if it doesn't - being out and about walking a dog, chatting to people and sharing your life with a dog is positive in and of itself.

Last things first. I, and others, haven't said that approaching strangers in public is necessarily an unwelcome intrusion. What most women experience as an unwelcome intrusion is being approached by a stranger who makes an uninvited personal comment about their appearance. I have conversation with passing strangers all the time while out and about - where I live people are generally friendly and will talk to each other in the street, in shops, on public transport. But, these conversations are not about each others' physical appearance - certainly not in an uninvited and lecherous way. I just remembered I once spoke to a woman I saw in a shop about her hair. I did start by saying, I hope she didn't mind me saying, but that I couldn't help noticing and admiring her hair. She thanked me and told me where she got it done - she was an older woman whose hair was naturally white and on one side she had it dyed pink and purple in a kind of splodge which sounds awful but looked awesome!

Why does the presence of the dog make it ok? Well, first of all, it is a way that people interact - it was only when I got a dog that I appreciated how many people will come up to you and speak to you and the dog. So, certainly where I live, it is a socially acceptable way for people to speak to strangers in public. Second, the conversation is not about the person's appearance - it is about their dog. It is much less personal and it is not objectifying. So instead of going up to the "hot stranger" and saying, "Hey doll, you have beautiful eyes?" you're going up and saying "Lovely dog - is it a lurcher?" The first approach is likely to get you, at best, a fixed smile as she moves quickly away from you. The second approach is likely to have her stop, smile properly, and reply, at least to confirm what kind of dog she has. If you're just using the dog question initially to mask a lecherous intent, then you're still not likely to be very successful, but if you are genuinely interested in the dog as well as the person on the other end of the lead, then at least you'll have had a pleasant conversation.

Another bonus for those who have difficulty with eye contact - when you're talking about your dog, looking at the dog instead of the other person wouldn't be considered strange.

Thanks Marcia for adding clarification, as I have tried to do, about the difference between strangers talking to each other for innocent, general purposes, which of course there's nothing wrong with, and the very different phenomenon of a strange man approaching a strange woman out on the street (not at an actual social occasion) not only to remark upon her physical appearance but to do so with the intent of picking her up -- on the street. That's what that other thread was about -- the OP clearly stated he wanted to meet women to date, using this method. That's a whole different ballgame than people just talking to each others as friendly strangers about general topics.

I agree with the above.

Heh. I don't know if I'm strange here but I prefer large dogs like german sheppards, collies, and huskies. They seem real dogs not stupid little glorified toys.

They also don't have a Napoleon Complex like some small dogs.

Lol! Again I was being tongue in cheek, but yeah, I wouldn't consider German shepherds, collies or huskies to be necessarily scary. Calm, friendly dogs are more likely to attract positive attention than dogs which growl and snarl, no matter the size. I have a lurcher, a medium sized, very quiet dog.

If I ever decide I want another relationship, I am *so* screwed!

But having a dog will scare off the cat people!

I should try this with a monkey pet.

I am a Wolfman---so I kill two birds with one stone!

I have a dog... At my mom's house. I can't actually have a dog where I live. I don't have a fenced yard or anyone to help out and my shifts are 12 hours. But when I am at mom's house she spends most of the visit in my lap. She sleeps with me when I spend the night.

Once I have a place with a fence (I don't believe in tying dogs out) or time to walk her I plan to take her home. She is an awesome little dog. A rescue my step dad picked up at a truck stop in Texas. Some trucker threw her out and he bought her home and she took a liking to me.

Seriously, if you are ready in the near future, I have a hell of a guy for you. i already tried to set him up with Ann, but I dont think shes all that interested.