I need some dating advice from women

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businezguy
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09 Jul 2014, 8:36 pm

Hey Stargazer.

How much times did you have between dates though? We are talking 2 weeks between dates on my end.

Betwixt, you are a women, so you'd know what women want. I don't think she's at all terrified of cold calling or leaving messages though. I would think like you do, that she'd appreciate it, but I'm going to, for the time being, see what she does and wait for her. She has initiated before, even if for a brief conversation. Now she might be cooling off, hard to tell.

Anyway, she would normally leave work around 6:30 and with a small commute, she'd have had a potential 45 minutes or so to contact me so far. By the way, I'm not *this* annoying with her LOL. I'm just using this place to vent some steam. I need *some* outlet. Thanks for allowing me to torture you. :p



BetwixtBetween
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09 Jul 2014, 9:18 pm

Ah but see, I process things differently and have different reactions to things than all my NT female friends have. Part of it is the bad understanding of nonverbal communication. But it does go beyond that. So, assuming she is NT, I'm probably not who you should listen to.



YippySkippy
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09 Jul 2014, 9:27 pm

About the party: it's possible she meant "I'm going to celebrate" or "I'm going to party", and not that she was going to actually throw a party. That would make your question about planning seem odd, which might be why she ignored it. In other words, you may have taken her meaning too literally.



businezguy
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09 Jul 2014, 9:56 pm

Well here's exactly what she said:

"Oh there will be a BIG party!!"

I think she could have meant she'd just go out and have drinks, etc. but I think my misunderstanding could be understandable. When I asked her if she planned the party, I wasn't really being literal either. All I meant was, do you plan to say get some friends together and go to the movies, etc. In other words, she'd be the one taking me too literally. Hey, I'm not HOPELESS :P



Yuzu
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09 Jul 2014, 10:00 pm

I think you should text her at least once a day (but not too many in one day). If you skip a day she'll think you're losing interest.



businezguy
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09 Jul 2014, 10:26 pm

I would agree with you except that lately I've really really been the one pursuing. My first date with her may not have been the hit I thought it was, although I don't think she had a bad time. I don't know, I'm just not going to be the one to always initiate contact. I'm interested in her, but I need to know she's the right one for me.

For the time being, I'm going to take the advice of others and hold off on texting. I don't think it's likely I'll get a text today.

Besides, here we have this text thread with an unanswered question, right? And she's the one who's NT, right? It's time for her to read between the lines. Answer my question or at least start a conversation. It's not going to kill her. She did it twice before although that was before the first date.



Yuzu
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09 Jul 2014, 10:37 pm

Sure if that's how you feel, go with your gut. I think it's too early for you to pull back to see what happens but whatever. Maybe you're not into her that much after all.



businezguy
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09 Jul 2014, 10:43 pm

I guess I'm as into her as one can be after one date. She's smart, pretty, and we have similar interests. I can assure you, that doesn't exactly seal the deal, I've learned it takes a lot of time to really get to know somebody, and that's fine.

I'm going with my gut because I'm trying to see if I can continue this relationship or not. If she's not interested, I'm not exactly the clingy type. I'll go on my way quietly. Right now I am testing the waters.

If I want to be proactive, and address the concern you have, Yuzu, I could come up with some texts in a couple of days that would be interesting enough to perhaps grab her interest again (or mark me as a player).



vickygleitz
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10 Jul 2014, 12:13 am

cut back on the texting. every day is too often. see if you can get that second date.



wozeree
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10 Jul 2014, 12:47 am

Why does it always have to be so unknown for us? Dammit, we really are aliens! :D



Stargazer43
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10 Jul 2014, 5:47 am

businezguy wrote:
Hey Stargazer.

How much times did you have between dates though? We are talking 2 weeks between dates on my end.

Betwixt, you are a women, so you'd know what women want. I don't think she's at all terrified of cold calling or leaving messages though. I would think like you do, that she'd appreciate it, but I'm going to, for the time being, see what she does and wait for her. She has initiated before, even if for a brief conversation. Now she might be cooling off, hard to tell.

Anyway, she would normally leave work around 6:30 and with a small commute, she'd have had a potential 45 minutes or so to contact me so far. By the way, I'm not *this* annoying with her LOL. I'm just using this place to vent some steam. I need *some* outlet. Thanks for allowing me to torture you. :p


For me it is usually 1-2 weeks also. This is one of the things that confuses me the most though.



businezguy
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10 Jul 2014, 6:59 am

So I didn't hear from her last night. I have higher hopes she might message me this morning. I think she's used to me taking the initiative.

With that said, I think if she was *really* interested, she would initiate some conversations more often. I'm pretty sure I'll get a second date, she's already agreed to it. I just need to finalize visitation with my son for not this weekend but the following weekend and then I can arrange that. I think after that I might not text virtually at all unless she shows and interest in texting me to initiate some of the conversations.

It's kind of discouraging, but I appreciate everybody's advice.



businezguy
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10 Jul 2014, 2:47 pm

Nothing this morning. :(



businezguy
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10 Jul 2014, 9:48 pm

Sorry to be a pain, but it's 8:43 PM and I haven't heard a peep from her. So what conclusions should I draw from this? I'm pretty sure we had a successful date, but has she lost interest?

Also, she agreed to a second date and I've cleared the way for not this weekend but the following weekend for my son to visit his aunt and uncle. Should I contact her to secure another date, or do you think she doesn't have the interest? Or, is this just the way some females are, they want the man to initiate contact?



BetwixtBetween
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10 Jul 2014, 9:54 pm

She could just be old-fashioned, in which case, it is your job to contact her, plan the date, make the reservations, buy the tickets, and so on.

It's also possible she's no longer interested.

There's a good chance you'll never know until you contact her.



businezguy
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10 Jul 2014, 10:28 pm

Just contacted her via text to plan our next date and she said she had a good night, but she's tired. I told her I contacted her about plans for the following weekend, but I'd let her get some rest instead and she said thanks.

These aren't good signs, me thinks.