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Good piece of advice!

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Jamesy
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11 Jul 2014, 2:37 pm

Sylph wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Why do people think just cause your an aspie you should not be in a relationship :?


I've been told this multiple times by my mother, I think it's because she doesn't want me spreading it.



s**t your right. My dad said something along those lines as well. Not as blunt as your mum was though but i think he was hinting something to me.

If that's the attitude my parents have then there is little hope :(



Sylph
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11 Jul 2014, 5:15 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Sylph wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Why do people think just cause your an aspie you should not be in a relationship :?


I've been told this multiple times by my mother, I think it's because she doesn't want me spreading it.



sh** your right. My dad said something along those lines as well. Not as blunt as your mum was though but i think he was hinting something to me.

If that's the attitude my parents have then there is little hope :(


Could always just not listen to their advice, I just brushed it off and hid all my relationships from them. They haven't figured it out yet and probably won't.



RetroGamer87
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11 Jul 2014, 10:49 pm

Jamesy wrote:
The thing is as well it does not seem to alarm my parents that I am nearly 25 and never had a relationship.

At least you don't have your parents nagging at you to hurry up and get a girlfriend like I do. As much as I'd like to get one, it's easier said than done.

To make matters worse my cousin is engaged and he's younger than me (and he has a better job than me and he can afford to go on intercontinental holidays with his fience twice a year and he moved out of home 7 years before I did and he got his drivers license 3 years before I did... and he's 6 months younger than me :x).
Also he's naturally thin and I only got thin through much effort and he's 6 foot 3 and I'm only 6 foot 2 :evil:
/rant
Jamesy wrote:
Sylph wrote:
I've been told this multiple times by my mother, I think it's because she doesn't want me spreading it.

sh** your right. My dad said something along those lines as well. Not as blunt as your mum was though but i think he was hinting something to me.

If that's the attitude my parents have then there is little hope :(

Yeah, and I got my parents always saying they want grandkids 8O. I don't get on with kids very well. In the very unlikely event that I get a girlfriend I'll have to figure out a way to hide vasectomy scars.



Belfast
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15 Jul 2014, 1:18 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Belfast wrote:
It doesn't seem like advice, just a subjective assessment of OP's areas of strength/competence & weakness/difficulty.
A lot of us are good at academic or task-oriented work, but not so talented/adept at the interpersonal/social realm.

Excerpt from ?Think Like A Freak? by Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner (2014):
Quote:
?...just because you?re great at something doesn?t mean you?re good at everything.?



So do you think my parents might think its for the best that I never have a partner or girlfriend in my 'entire' life.

I wouldn't wish a life of loneliness on anyone but if my parents want to have that attitude then maybe they lack compassion or think they are trying to protect me in some way.

No. I don't know what your parents think or feel. Not knowing the individuals involved means we here on the forum can only scratch the surface and speculate about what's going on.
My comment was attempt to interpret the quote from the counselor, who was apparently attempting to interpret what OP said about his parents' attitudes towards him, as OP perceived them.

My sense (of the quote) was merely that social relationships are more challenging, difficult, for OP-compared with academic work, which may come more easily.
That is a common pattern for people with Asperger's, excelling at intellectual or practical skills yet lagging behind (and lacking an intuitive adeptness) in the interpersonal realm.

It's got nothing to do with whether OP "should" or "shouldn't" try to find relationship(s), so far as I can tell. Just that the social stuff will take extra practice and struggle-
like how, with academics, some folks have to study very hard & often, to absorb & retain the material.
Of course, the tricky thing here is that it's not exactly simple & easy to go practice socializing with romantic/lustful intent-as one can't get much of that from studying a book.

So far as I can discern, saying "this may be hard for you to do" is *not* the same as saying "don't bother even trying".


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