Can you have some choice on who you date?

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That is understandable, blonde hair and blue eyes are highly desired by many cultures in the world. There are certain desirable traits such as tall, skinny, blonde, defined features, high cheekbones that are considered attractive in many places and my other gets a lot of attention because of those traits but deep down it's about the connection we share. Do I feel attracted to her for those reasons? Physically yes but deep down, it's about the depth, the emotional bond, connection you feel with that person. So it's important that you have both physical and mental attraction because one doesn't work without the other.

Yes, but like I said, I think that the fixation with a certain haircolour, type, tone, length, in attraction that some people have is utterly stupid. The idea that someone NEEDS red hair (or not) to be attracted. Rigid thinking. Nothing understandable either about these traits being 'highly desired' (load of crap by the way). And completely not understandable that someone would base personal attraction on what is desired by someone else.

So, Kelly K.

Yes, you absolutely have a choice in who you want to date and your openness to new experience!

Now go outside and actually get to know girls.

There is nothing wrong with having a certain type, you're the one who has that fixation. I don't have to go out and meet any more girls, I have a beautiful blonde girl who is fulfilling enough for me.

Also I feel more comfortable with a white women because I find people of other races to follow nationalism more closely, minorities and ethnic groups tend to stick together or date their own kind in many cases which definitely doesn't help. I feel like she wouldn't see past differences or beyond things like nationalism and religion.

Does that make me racist? Not at all, if I truly felt a deep bond and connection with a minority, it wouldn't put me off but I know what I find attractive deep inside and those preferences are up to me.

lol

Maybe.

Personality is all about behavior, not a person's true intentions. The way a person behaves only tells you so much. Some people act like total jerks and they're really great guys/gals once you get to know them. Some folks act like real, upstanding pillars of American society, and once you get to know them you find out they're narcissistic sociopaths.

no I can't just gotta take who ever will accept me. which is no one.

When I see other men mature, it's not like I see them giving up hot girls. I love natural blondes particularly because they are fair and delicate. I know the day might come when that trait will go away and never be seen again. Everyone I told talks about how rare they are.

Most adult women dye their hair anyways because all hair colors fade and turn gray.

Also, brunettes typically age better than blondes and redheads.

Bottom line, whatever she looks like now, she won't look like that in 30-40 years anyway, so what are ya gonna do when she ages and is no longer delicate and fairy-like?

I think silver is sexy on a woman. I hate when women dye their hair.

When it comes to romantic relationships, a basic starting point is that it is unreasonable to expect [any quality] of your partner that you are unwilling to expect of yourself.

You want: A 'conventionally beautiful by Western standards' woman, specifically a petite, blue-eyed (natural) blonde. So do tons of other men.

K Kelly -- So, a few questions for you K Kelly:

- how tall are you?
- how fit are you?
- how old are you? how old is your 'ideal' blue-eyed-blonde-hottie?
- how close to the 'conventionally handsome by Western standards' are you? Relative to, say, Brad Pitt-circa-"Thelma & Louise" or Idris-Elba-in--OMFG-he's-gorgeous-in-pretty-much-anything?

I'm not kidding. Please do answer those questions... and I'm curious.

Because if you are a youngish, tall, super-fit, super-conventionally-handsome-guy then it's reasonable expect the youngish, super-fit, super-hottie-slender-blondes to date you. (Your expectations of yourself are the same as of your 'dreamgirl').

However, if you're a bit of a shlub (or a bit of a shlub who happens to be 5'2" and 43 yrs old) and ONLY into drop-dead 22 yo blondes... well, your expectation of a young blonde hottie isn't reasonable.

Yes, of course, there are hot girls who end up with not-so-hot guys (and vice versa) and attraction is about MUCH more than just physical appearance (you do need to 'click' with a partner)... but the VAST MAJORITY of humanity ends up with a partner who is as attractive (or unattractive) and fairly close to their age (within +/- 8-9 years).

- how tall are you?
5'6.5" a little on the short-side.

- how fit are you?
I want to become big and muscular, but it's really more for me, and not as much to do with attracting girls at all. I want to be able to enjoy my skin naked.

- how old are you? how old is your 'ideal' blue-eyed-blonde-hottie?
My age to + 10 years.

- how close to the 'conventionally handsome by Western standards' are you?
Not sure really. I did have a good-looking picture of me in high school, but that picture is six years old now.

Really, I am attracted to women of every race, but I focus a lot of my attraction on blondes.

K Kelly - You're short, you're kinda soft/pudgy, the most recent 'good' photo of you was taken circa 2008 -- based on that description, setting your sights on a petite-blue-eyed-blonde-hottie (and ONLY petite-blue-eyed-blonde-hotties) is unreasonable.

On the simple basis that you are expecting things from your dreamgirl (super-duper-hotness) that you yourself do not possess.

That leaves you with the following options:

(1) change nothing about yourself, continue to exclusively pursue superhottieblondeblueyedgirls knowing the odds of one being into you are negligible
(2) get yourself to the gym/photographer/stylist, whip yourself into conventionally handsome shape and then exclusively pursue the superhottieblondeblueyedgirls (with whom you'll have a better shot, since you too will be superduperhot, if a tad on the short side)
(3) change nothing about yourself and broaden the pool of women you're willing to date (i.e. girls equally attractive as you right this very second).

You can usually choose whom you don?t date