How to not be creepy?

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Even unattractive guys don't ask me out.

Get away from me you creeps!


Sorry, but I had my share of creepy girls from this site.

Why do guys have to do all the asking?

Heck, if my circumstances were different I'd ask you out. You seem ok to me.

Wanna go out?

Because of "the rules" book.

This book is the main source of s**t in women's mentality on this planet.

Women here nag about the sexist pua books addressed to men all the time but reality that no book has as much impact as The Rules (not less sexist), this one became the bible of womanhood inherited from mothers to daughters. As result, many women who follow the Rules'rules became incomprehensible beings.

If your a man and with an ASD disorder and attracted to a woman and want to ask her out you are instantly creepy, that's just life, life sucks and you will have to deal with it, you have better chances of not even bothering asking a woman out, acting totally indifferent! They will start to approach you more and wonder why your not paying attention to them!

If you never ask anyone out if you're man, ASD or not, you're more likely not going to get a girlfriend because most women don't ask men out.

lol?yeah.

And "many" is the operative word here. If a woman chats me up, I see no assault on my manhood whatsoever.

It's not because of "the Rules" book. That book was only reiterating cultural gender roles with regards to dating which have been around since long before that book was published. In fact some people criticised it as being "too old fashioned".

This. I mean, we're screwed either way, and I think AO is right. I think what an aspie has to do to get past it is just stop worrying about it.

People generally don't look at me as being odd or different until I open my mouth. I've learned to keep quiet except to keep the other person talking. Really, all anyone wants to do is talk about themselves. People care about that more than what someone else has to say. Let them run on and on?if they get tired talking about whatever it is, ask some questions, change the subject, whatever, and they'll think you're the best conversationalist on the planet. And you don't have to say two words or self-disclose at all. It's amazing how much time you can steal from a person's life by "Really? No kidding? I see? So tell me more about ___." No one is going to notice you're creepy because you make them focus on themselves, which is all they want to talk about anyway. They see themselves, not you, and you've just spent an hour with someone new.

In dating, the goal is to get another hour on a different day. So what I like to do is the first chance I get start writing important details in my journal?names, bits of conversation I could follow up on next time--like, say, "Is your father feeling better? Did your cousin get that job she was interviewing for? You were telling me about x and sure enough it was on the news last night! What did you think about___?" You have to deflect attention away from the "creep factor," put the focus on the person you're with, and they'll never notice. Since you make them feel important and let them talk about themselves all day long, even if you accidentally let the creep out, they already like you well enough they probably don't care by this point. They just feel too awesome hanging around you they'll forgive pretty much anything.

I could handle a "rules girl." But I find more assertive women to be more attractive than less assertive women who insist on men making the first move.

I mean, playing the hard-to-get game, IMO, only encourages men to play the game more aggressively. If all you do is "rules," any man can get the book, memorize the rules, and predict the woman's next move. You do the little song and dance and the woman is yours?because that's "the rule." I think you're going to attract more abusers that way, and I'd advise any woman actually using that as a guide to take it with a huge grain of salt the size of the Great Salt Lake.

Seriously, the point of dating is to get to know someone and have a good time together. If a girl is playing hard-to-get, then it's a simple solution. You're going to crack that shell by ultimately monopolizing her time. Here's a hint: you can't do that by going out on a date with her. You just "happen" to hang out with her several times a week under less formal circumstances. If you're already spending a lot of time together, going out on a "date-date" is a no-brainer.

It's a dream-come-true.

By the way, regarding the book "The Rules", here's a dating book for women that's a great antidote to "The Rules". It's called "It's Okay to Sleep With Him on the First Date: And Every Other Rule of Dating, Debunked". Don't be fooled by the title though, it's not saying that you must sleep with men on the first date, just that it's perfectly possible for men to still respect women after sleeping with them on the first date - we aren't all slut-shamers. That's only one of the traditional dating rules that they debunk though:

http://www.amazon.com/Okay-Sleep-With-First-Date/dp/0373892780

Women like that are utterly uninteresting IMHO. A real relationship starts with a serious, two-sided obsession, not sleeping with each others.

Nobody's saying otherwise and you've missed the point of the book. They simply debunking all the dating "rules", most people won't do that and would want to get to know each first and that's fine. It's just that there's no rule that you should or shouldn't do that just like there's no rule that a woman should wait around for men to take the initiative in asking them out, in fact, the book debunks that too.

However my objection was that I don't want to throw-out all rules, but invent new one's that fits me and neurodiverse people better. Thus, throwing out the rule about early sex is not something I can support. It sounds more like "pop-advice" from our sex-fixated culture. They could have done a lot better if they wanted us to skip all the rules.

My first rule is that I don't do traditional dating at all, so thus I've already debunked everything that has ever been written about traditional dating.

My second rule is that I won't talk to a girl until we have a mutual obsession for each others.