imaginary girlfriend.

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It seems like it.



Yes, but that is irrelevant. The thing is that the brain need an attachment to a person in order to thrive in a relationship. How this is achieved, and if it is with a real person or not is beside the point. That's why imaginary girlfriends works and can trigger the same feelings as real ones.

Not at all. A shy person can use a mix of imaginary and real girlfriends. It makes it possible to go really slow and check the responses without doing any real dating. And it works, both for purely imaginary purposes and for real one's that eventually leads to real relationships.

The major thing that favors shy people is that quantity really doesn't matter, it is quality that makes the difference. So even if the bold one's can chat with 100s or 1000s of different girls, that is no guarantee for getting into a good relationship. A shy person that only has a few opportunities could score every time if he targets girls that are interested (and usually also shy).

Quality is better than quantity but that isn't mutually exclusive with boldness. Shyness and boldness are relative concepts. The guy in your example may have at least a few atoms of courage and he may be less shy than the OP.

If the OP wants to chat up this drug addled girl he should ask what he can give to the relationship, not what he can get from it.

No, if the OP wants his imaginary gf to be more than that he should investigate if she is interested in him without making any kind of contact attempts. Only if she seems to be interested should he attempt to contact her in any way. IMHO, he should have made sure she was interested before he selected her if he had any such plans, but as it looks like I don't think he has. At least I would not start this with anybody that didn't show some kind of interest. I need at least some positive feedback in order to succeed with such a thing.

It sounds like you have my problem. I don't like to try anything unless I think success is guaranteed but there is no reward without risk. There is no way for the OP to ask if she's interested without letting her know he's interested. That goes doubly in our culture where guys are expected to initiate things. The OP should ask and there's a chance he'll rejected which will hurt if it happens.

Why should we live lives free from pain? We must accept that rejection isn't the end of the world. Which is more painful? The short term pain of rejection or the long term pain of wondering what might have been? We should accept that a life spent alone is costlier than rejection. There is no reward without risk and we cannot hope to succeed unless we first accept the possibility of failure.

A no lose scenario doesn't exist so one who never acts when there is a chance of failure will never act at all and therefore will fail. It's better to try and have even a 1% chance of success than to not try and have a 0% chance of success.


Signed,

the guy wishing he could follow his own advice.

If he has observed this girl for a while (which I suspect he must have given he knows a few things about her), he would also have observed if she looked at him or even flirted with him. Those are the clues he should evaluate as to if she is potentially interested or not. And if he hasn't yet tried to flirt with her, then he should try this before getting bold and go up ask her if she is interested.

Because when I did similar things, I knew for sure that the girl had some interest. Not that this was always enough to get bold, but it was at least a necessary precondition to even consider such a thing.

Sure, flirting is fine but isn't that just another way to proposition? Just another language to ask in? Is it so different?

You cannot get rejected when trying to flirt, just ignored. That's a huge difference,

I almost had an imaginary relationship with a celeb I had a huge crush obsession on. The way I got over it was by getting in a relationship but I was still having problems with feeling for her till I started an antipsychotic after I thought it could of been a delusional disorder & it may not actually be that but Haldol helps it.

I can't find any particularly good reason why to "get out of it". I'm polyamory, and once I found out how to get it past the initial (courtship) phase, the obsessive nature wore off to a more appropriate level. Right now I feel I can keep it going for years without any problem.

I myself have an imaginary GF. We met "for real" at a bar last summer after I broke up with my first "real" girlfriend. Now my imaginary GF and I don't see each other as much as we used to.

Reason: She's 35 and still lives with her mother, who doesn't warm to younger males easily.

Thankfully, my family hasn't found out about her. As much as I'd like to see my imaginary GF again, I'm waiting for an opportunity to come my way.