Is a career required for a relationship?

Post Reply New Topic

But in fact most people have career just to pay bills and their goals have nothing in common with it.
And contribution to society is even more controversal thing - boss may be less contributive then unpaid volutneer, some high politician may be frankly harmful due to corruption and professor may have less money than mercenary or even common shop assistant, I've seen all these examples with my own eyes so I never judge somebody by his career.

I do not see it the way you do and I think a career is very important thing that says a lot about someone.

I'm going to agree with Cafeaulait on this one. I'm already able to pay my bills but I think it would be even better if I paid my bills without welfare money. Some of my goals actually are career based. One of those goals being to have a career in the first place (and not just to impress girls, I have other reasons for wanting a career as well).

Okay, I see. DIfferent alignment. Hope you are not HR

If you for exampl take me and my career it would tell you nothing about me at all. I'm IT Manager, ex-developer. However I always hated IT and instead I'm history geek. So of course I'm not happy at all but can't change job.

I'm lazy, non-punctual, have poor networking skills, hate most people around - and at the same time have promotions every year or two and salary is growing as well.

So even knowing all my career path and education you'd still know nothing about my personality.

There I go assuming stuff again.

A possibility I've considered. I could get money and a title yet still have poor dating skills.
So far I've never been able to get a second date with the same girl

Based on my last job you don't need people skills or any knowledge of morality to get into HR.

I would say women definetley expect it more than men do, but that's more so if the woman is looking for something serious, like she wants to settle down or get married, start a family

It matters to lots & maybe even most but NOT all. It didn't matter to my girlfriend that I was unemployed because she was unemployed as well due to anxiety & depression issues & she was on SSI & Section 8 housing because of it so a job isn't necessary with the rite resources available.

Last edited by nick007 on 19 Oct 2014, 9:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

As someone building on an academic career myself, I do not see career as important at all.

I think passion is much more important than career, I would rather be with a woman who is passionate about what she does than only focussing on a career. I think there are much more important aspects to a relationship than career, since a career is something you do for yourself or for the outside world. A relationship is something you do solely for each other, so I tend to find only qualities that you have for each other important. Aspects such as being caring for each other, being honest, being loyal, showing intimacy and experiencing the world together.

Well, one thing I know for sure is that EVERY SINGLE person asked about my career on the first date. I work for a very well known and respected employer but I am on the more bottom rung. Either way not having much luck with relationships. Personally I dont care too much about a career because the more money a girl makes the more she seems to be married to her career!

Maybe the women ask trying to make conversation & getting to know you better. It's a very common thing for people in general to talk & ask about.

Indeed. I might ask about job, car, living situation...just as conversation and to get to know them. The answers are irrelevant other than potentially being interesting to know. If your date is nervous, these are pretty easy standard questions to fall on when struggling to come up with something to ask.

The trouble is, I run out of those questions so fast.

A man having a career is very important for women, because for them it represents a sense of security. I'm going to sound like someone misogynistic but a man with a career is on the same spectrum has a man with lots of money, the same gold digger spectrum. You can have a very good looking man, who plays guitar in clubs during the week-end and who works at a bar or who waits tables during the week, and an average looking man who is lets say a lawyer, women when they are young will go for the first man, because there is a sense of adventure, but around 25-26 they will go for the bald average looking lawyer because that is security for them.
I also notice some profession appeal more to women, for example if you have a career in arts (like you work in films) will get you less girls than if you work in a more regular profession with regular office hours.

sounds better then me, i rent a place with my mom and sister, its cheaper and helps them out. we could probably get seperate tiny places but over all would have less money for food and stuff. non the less it's seen as a bad thing. i suppose I should get my own place and possible leave my family on the street.
so its basically a guest house? we have those here but its like 1 house out of 100 that has such things usually richer people's houses. I wouldn't know how women would see that, but it would seem to meet the requirements of having your own place like if you rented a flat or something.

i don't have much hope left .

those or "have life together"

i met a guy taking 24 credits(full time is 12) and worked 3 jobs. he hardly slept and wasn't around next term.

so does a guy who works a full time job not contribute? i don't get the career thing and there really aren't enough to go around. there simply isn't a career for every person on this planet. some people have to be janitors , security, cooks, fast food, garbage pick up, etc. so much of what keeps society running isn't done by career people.

some people with careers have no discipline or goals they are just from wealthy families or lucky. while some people who have discipline or goals may be stuck in the lower tier for years because they don't have enough upper level contacts despite working hard and being disciplined. life isn't black in white.



the problem I have with this is most the women who ask these questions stop replying or talking to me right after they get an answer.
like "oh he doesn't make 20 an hour, pass"

when I get nervous and ask questions its about shows/movies, interests, what they like doing. tells me a lot more about a person then what they do for a job. an accountant might be a big video game player or maybe they are super into music. but for both being an accountant is just a income not their passion.
only time i've asked is in response to being asked what my job is, as it seems like the proper response.



sadly i blew my one shot at getting a higher paying job from college. though those who got jobs in my field are making just above min wage not what they should be with the degree they have. now going into my late 20's i realize how screwed I am and how worse and worse its going get as I go into my 30s. to be frank i am just a wasted life that should end.

Yes, OF COURSE, having a career is helpful when you're an adult looking for a relationship. If you aren't gainfully employed, how can you afford a place to live, transportation, etc?

Assuming you ARE gainfully employed and managing living on your own (ie not with mommy or daddy), the type of career you have isn't that important. Working as a janitor, cook, garbage pick up person (which is a unionized job that pays upwards of $35/hr where I live!) or police officer COUNTS as a career. Plenty of fast food cooks, janitors, etc are happily married or in relationships!

(If you don't believe me, look at the wedding / engagement announcements in your local paper. Is every man a supermodel or high-powered lawyer? Or are there plenty of happily coupled guys with normal, everyday jobs?).

If you get nervous and squirrely if a girl you're on a date with asks what you do for work and you bumble the answer or come off as embarrassed / ashamed of how you earn a living THAT (embarrassment / shame) is probably the HUGE turnoff for women. Not the fact that your career may be considered "unglam".