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Obsessed with getting girls now. It has taken over my life.

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WantToHaveALife
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24 Oct 2014, 7:57 pm

I got this from a book titled "The Flow" by Dan Bacon, founder of The Modern Man site and blog, he says in the beginning of the book:

"A Man will often distract himself with hobbies, work, p*rn, his friends, or other things in an attempt to mask the pain of being unsuccessful with women. No matter what they do, nothing replaces their innate desire to have a loving, sexual relationship with a real woman.

Accepting defeat is not going to fix any of your issues with women. Your desire to have sex with women and be loved by women is not going to go away if you play more computer games, video games, hobbies, work harder on your job, career, education, or making more money. You want women and that is that, it is not going to go away."

Sadly he is right



rdos
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25 Oct 2014, 4:19 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:
I got this from a book titled "The Flow" by Dan Bacon, founder of The Modern Man site and blog, he says in the beginning of the book:

"A Man will often distract himself with hobbies, work, p*rn, his friends, or other things in an attempt to mask the pain of being unsuccessful with women. No matter what they do, nothing replaces their innate desire to have a loving, sexual relationship with a real woman.

Accepting defeat is not going to fix any of your issues with women. Your desire to have sex with women and be loved by women is not going to go away if you play more computer games, video games, hobbies, work harder on your job, career, education, or making more money. You want women and that is that, it is not going to go away."

Sadly he is right


True, but the text contains no solutions so it is pretty worthless as is. Sounds more like a trailer aimed at selling things. Probably some dating tricks or something.



WantToHaveALife
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26 Oct 2014, 3:13 pm

rdos wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
I got this from a book titled "The Flow" by Dan Bacon, founder of The Modern Man site and blog, he says in the beginning of the book:

"A Man will often distract himself with hobbies, work, p*rn, his friends, or other things in an attempt to mask the pain of being unsuccessful with women. No matter what they do, nothing replaces their innate desire to have a loving, sexual relationship with a real woman.

Accepting defeat is not going to fix any of your issues with women. Your desire to have sex with women and be loved by women is not going to go away if you play more computer games, video games, hobbies, work harder on your job, career, education, or making more money. You want women and that is that, it is not going to go away."

Sadly he is right


True, but the text contains no solutions so it is pretty worthless as is. Sounds more like a trailer aimed at selling things. Probably some dating tricks or something.


the book does contain solutions, its now just trying to get the motivation to put them into action



CynicalWaffle
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27 Oct 2014, 9:31 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
rdos wrote:
If you tend to get obsessed with girls, and they tend to dump a lot, then you need some better way of selecting girls that won't dump you. Or you need try to not get too involved with them too early if that is possible.

Getting a diagnosis won't help you at all.



Why use the word "dump"? It's all about incapatibilty, not worth or self-worth. Our worth is NOT contingent upon others perceptions of us. If a guy feels he gets dumped a lot, then why isn't he questioning whether or not he really liked any of them? Why is it always about them liking him?
Are some guys so desperate and down on themselves that they think that every girl who agrees to date them are okay? Speaking as a female, I'd say that if you get to really know some women, you'd thank your lucky stars that they did dump you. There's nothing quite like getting to REALLY know somebody. That saying about "the honeymoon being over". WELLLL......when it's over, it;s over!! !


No... it's about worth. Rejection's a personal thing these days.

I really miss the days when you could legally claim that rejection was because of incompatibility. It simply isn't true these days, though. People are cruel and are out for blood.



WantToHaveALife
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29 Oct 2014, 11:51 am

main thing I hate about having to be the initiator as guy is that its very hard to be assertive and take action, initiate/escalate without coming across as needy or desperate, sadly women can sense that like a shark smells blood in the water



elkclan
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01 Nov 2014, 5:02 pm

You know sometimes with a date, you're just not suited. It's ok. There are billions of opposite gendered people in the world and there's no way you can suit them all.

Something that bothers me in these threads is the focus on 'getting a girl' as if we are somehow interchangeable or that any old girl will do. We (and I'm sure this stands for men as well) want to be wanted for ourselves, as individuals. We want to *click* with someone.

Sometimes you can have an enjoyable date, but just no *click*. There's no shame in not clicking. We won't click with most people. Sometimes if a meet-up doesn't work for me I think "Well, he's clearly not the right one because he can't see how cool I am." or "You know, maybe I'm just not his type." I actually feel worse if they like me and I don't like them.



WantToHaveALife
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04 Nov 2014, 3:07 pm

and it gets annoying that how us guys, men are expected to have something we are into, that gives our lives meaning above and beyond dating and relationships, sex, we're expected to have ambitions, dreams, goals, a mission, purpose in life and be actively going about it, it's annoying and frustrating but I guess that's how womens brains our wired