Such high standards

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One way to get noticed is to be generous with your hard earned knowledge and experience, and not just the stuff you have read about or found about from other sources. I found it makes perfect sense to share--sure, some NTs try to barter or sell their intellectual property--it makes little sense for me to play that game--I've got better things to do with my time.

The friend worthy NTs will often reciprocate in some manner--I've gotten offers to stay overnight and have dinner--I've actually taken up on that four times that I can recall. One out of town banquet speaker asked me if he could point me out as the local expert on what he was talking about.

The great thing about being an Aspie is that whatever I do, I seem to learn interesting things that NTs want to know more about.

Dating sites are biased against men by default simply due to some of the social phenomena. Men are the ones who usually have to initiate contact and in a sense it's much like a job application. Women get a lot of suitors and they pick the ones they find most attractive to them. People aren't dealing with people, but with pictures and descriptions. At that point you are solely based on physical attractiveness, social rank, etc. rather than your personality. In a sense online dating kind of takes the human part away from the selection process.

For people with autism it's hard, because while online dating seems like the most accessible way for us to start dating it's also filled with a culture of narcissism that is inherently not suited for people with autism. You'll quickly find yourself frustrated after having send tens if not a hundred replies and getting nothing back. You're going to have to be lucky to find a person on a dating site that judges you by character rather than appearance from either gender.

Alternatives to online dating? I don't know since I've never heard someone say a viable alternative. If like me social events aren't your thing your options are extremely slim and hopeless. Most people with autism I know who happened to have found a partner got one either through random chance or through a family member or friend hooking them up. I haven't had that kind of luck.

Some of us ladies are more than willing to overlook that if you're good at sex. Disregarding the last sentence, I'd take that more as being something that's the other person's problem and it's honestly their loss.

Do we asd males tend to?

We sure get many offers to practice, judging by the majority of the L&D posts.

Klowglas hit the nail on the head.

Besides that, SOME men judge women on appearance, but ALL women judge men based on their abilities and what they can bring to the table. They don't care about what's inside these days. Take me, for example. I'd date a woman who was missing limbs or had a speech impediment, as long as I liked her. Women would not date a man who have speech impediments or missing limbs (unless they got the missing limbs from war.....another "ability" thing)

Just a few decades ago, it used to be the opposite. But women these days grow up under parents who teach them that they are perfect princesses who deserve nothing less than Channing Tatum. Of COURSE most of them are gonna have the attitude that 99.9999999999999999% of men are no good.

Best thing to do? Say screw it and give up. Or find a way to get super rich.

Of course it is always the woman's fault when a jobless, uneducated man who still lives with his parents can not get a date.

I mean, what's up with women these days? They should be trawling the gutters, rehabs and homeless shelters to find their ideal mates! Why are they wasting their lives on attractive men whose only assets are wealth, health, education, social status, and self-reliance?

C'mon, ladies! What's the matter with you?

I believe, if a man seems willing to advance beyond the point where he is now, he'll get lots of dates.

He might be jobless, living with parents, etc.-but if he shows a willingness to advance beyond that point, women will respond. If he seems content with being jobless, living in parents' basement, etc., then most girls won't be interested. That's the truth.

Women like to see men evolve. They like to be part of a man's evolution. Sometimes, they like to be the "woman behind the man"; sometimes, they don't.

All in all, to reiterate, in order for a man to be date-able when he is jobless, etc., he has to show indications that he is willing to improve his situation in life.

Nothing wrong with high standards. Keeps women from dating pricks, and men from dating psychopaths.

Yes.

Dating a psychopath or someone with borderline will at least get you laid. Just don't grow attached to them.

The flaw in this thinking is that success in this world often means have the wherewithal to do what it takes to survive or get ahead, which often means pushing petty morality aside.... Thus it's simply not a good gauge for love, not that anyone in this world really cares, humans have a great adoration for power -- both men and women. Telling a women not to find love in power is like telling her to give up a life of comfort, though the comfort comes at a price, in that the love was never real, people don't really care because the illusion can simply prop itself up through physical affirmations, luxuries and distractions. We've essentially crafted a society of constant distraction, so she essentially doesn't need to face the truth until she's on her deathbed.

It's sad because despite our reason, our ability to see ahead, despite the fact that we know death is coming, we attach to love all the temporal fixtures it could possibly have, and despite all our reason, logic and intellect, we're unable to ascribe any eternal significance to love, it becomes precisely what the animals do -- a ritual fixated around power, intended to eliminate the weak, but the problem here is that weak doesn't mean evil, and strong doesn't mean good.

The courting process needs to measure character in order for love to regain it's eternal significance, because character is the only thing you will take out of this world, and it's character that needs to pass through generations -- not strength, character survives in weakness, though it's tested by power with its timeless ability of corruption, but it's only character that is aware of that danger.

Anyways, here is what is a picture that sums all of this up



Satan tempts the world to Jesus, while Jesus stares to heaven. Jesus wants the spiritual side of love, and he is quite aware of the deceptive nature of this physical world. Satan is the god of this world and he would triumph in loves deception here. Anyone who acts as a minichrist in this world, is going to suffer in the physical sense, though their spirit will find its way to a place where love is everlasting.

and the ones who have homes, job, and educated but still considered worthless? also what about the homless, poor, uneducated, jobless women who expect the same standards from a male as a ceo of a fortune 500 company expects from men?



so once he stops evolving ? can't always be evolving. and trying to do so is a waste of life as you can't take the money and status with you to the next life/grave. I'd rather enjoy my life then be constanting trying to achieve the next goal just to make another goal and so on and so on. if you ask me what a horrible way to waste one's life on meaningless endeavours. mean while I can look back to say I enjoyed my hobbies and life. as in war like life eventually you have to stop. you can' just keep advancing and taking ground eventually you will run out of ground/resources. if all great empires had just stopped trying to achieve more and more. maybe they'd still be around. but no they keep pushing and pushing till they push themselves to the breaking point. I've seen the same in people



problem is that often times pricks meet those standards more than non pricks. I'll say time and time again. job money, status, etc DO NOT REPRESENT CHARACTER. lots of powerful people were also monsters. lots of poor people were saints. so I don't get how people can say such standards protect them from psychopaths and pricks who are often the most successful and ambitious people.

Ideally, yes. In a perfect world, this would certainly be true. But we don't live in an ideal situation, nobody is perfect, and people with jobs, money, good looks, and all the superficial accoutrements of civilization will be more attractive to most people than any jobless, penniless, "ugly" person. That's just how people are.

For example, in my single days, I would never have dated a "Bag Lady", a "Welfare Mama", a "Junkie", or any other woman who could not seem to get her act together. And while I was homeless, I was invisible to all women everywhere. That's just how it is.

Quite possibly Fnord's best post ever.

Not bad for sarcasm, eh?

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