Female or male making the first move?

Page 2 of 4 [ 51 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4 Next

Varelse
Deinonychus

Joined: 5 Sep 2015
Age: 60
Posts: 368

30 Nov 2015, 3:02 pm

It is completely appropriate for a woman to let a guy know that she is interested. Quite often, women *do* make the first move - they just usually do it in a very indirect way. There's nothing wrong with a woman being direct in her approach, however. The guy is either into you, or he isn't. Making the first move will reveal this truth, not change it.

WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,175
Location: California, United States

01 Dec 2015, 2:51 pm

dobyfm wrote:

Of coarse not! This is 2015. If a female wants to make the first move then she has every right.

agreed, but it still seems over 90 percent of women, maybe even 99 percent of women, stubbornly, adamantly insist it is the mans role to approach and make the first move, be the initiator.

Pineapplejuicex
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 19 Nov 2015
Age: 40
Posts: 72

01 Dec 2015, 3:17 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:

dobyfm wrote:

Of coarse not! This is 2015. If a female wants to make the first move then she has every right.

agreed, but it still seems over 90 percent of women, maybe even 99 percent of women, stubbornly, adamantly insist it is the mans role to approach and make the first move, be the initiator.

What's the argument then? Some girls (even if it's a small %) do ask guys out. You can simultaneously wait for a girl to ask you out while asking girls that interest you out. That's increase your odds!

WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,175
Location: California, United States

05 Dec 2015, 5:00 pm

Pineapplejuicex wrote:

WantToHaveALife wrote:

dobyfm wrote:

Of coarse not! This is 2015. If a female wants to make the first move then she has every right.

agreed, but it still seems over 90 percent of women, maybe even 99 percent of women, stubbornly, adamantly insist it is the mans role to approach and make the first move, be the initiator.

it happens too rarely

wilburforce
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Sep 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,940

05 Dec 2015, 5:30 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:

Pineapplejuicex wrote:

WantToHaveALife wrote:

dobyfm wrote:

Of coarse not! This is 2015. If a female wants to make the first move then she has every right.

agreed, but it still seems over 90 percent of women, maybe even 99 percent of women, stubbornly, adamantly insist it is the mans role to approach and make the first move, be the initiator.

it happens too rarely

So date neurodiverse women then, who seem to be more open to making the first move. We're not unicorns.

Nist498
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Dec 2015
Age: 43
Posts: 514
Location: Arkansas

05 Dec 2015, 7:22 pm

I am of the opinion that more women should make the first move. It would be especially helpful for someone like me who can't read gestures very well if at all and as a result have next to no experience with romantic relationships. One of the biggest problems I have is both fear of rejection and fear of having some kind of criminal charge levelled at me. Knowing that woman likes me first because she initiated first and directly let me know she was interested removes that and allows me to be more open with her about my feelings and wants in a relationship.

_________________
Diagnosed ASD 4/22/16

All magic comes with a price! - Rumplestiltskin

nurseangela
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,017
Location: Kansas

05 Dec 2015, 7:41 pm

With my Aspie friend I had made the first connection most of the time. Maybe that's what was wrong and the reason he stopped saying anything. :cry:

_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.

DailyPoutine1
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Mar 2015
Age: 24
Posts: 2,278
Location: Province of Québec, Canada

05 Dec 2015, 7:52 pm

Girls should make the first move. Not just be some kind of "in the background" operators that wait to be asked out by hundreads of men then pick the best of them.

_________________
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CY2XtuxoEI

CommanderKeen
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2014
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,138

06 Dec 2015, 3:04 am

Go message him and ask him how he's doing. Talk to him for a bit. The more you talk to him, the more you hint about wanting to get with him, or if his aspergers is real bad, flat out tell him. Start slow at first so you don't overwhelm him. Ask what's new. Talk to him for about a week, or so and then ask to "hangout". This will really be a date, but tell ask if he wants to hangout and goto eat, or goto the movies. Since you're not calling it a date, he will be less overwhelmed and he won't feel obligated to pay your way. The day after tell him how much fun you had hanging out with him, see how he reacts. Wait a few days and plan another time you two can meet. If that goes well start sending him messages like "I've been thinking about you." and then start hinting that you want to get into a relationship, or flat out tell him.

Spiderpig
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,893

06 Dec 2015, 2:53 pm

dobyfm wrote:

Of coarse not! This is 2015. If a female wants to make the first move then she has every right.

And she also has every right not to.

_________________
The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.

Snowballxx
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 6 Dec 2015
Age: 36
Posts: 5

06 Dec 2015, 6:20 pm

Spiderpig wrote:

dobyfm wrote:

Of coarse not! This is 2015. If a female wants to make the first move then she has every right.

And she also has every right not to.

Same goes for men.

Spiderpig
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,893

06 Dec 2015, 11:14 pm

Yep, but most women can afford not to make the first move and still get relationships, while most men can’t, so refusing to do it is against their best interest unless they want to remain single for life.

cberg
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Dec 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,183
Location: A swiftly tilting planet

06 Dec 2015, 11:46 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

**Taking a deep breath***

FEMALES OF THE HUMAN RACE, STOP WITH THIS STUPID IDEA OF NO-INITIATING, YOU ALSO HAVE TO INITIATE CONTACT AT LEAST HALF OF THE TIMES!!

Phew, that felt good. I hope that my message went across.... the galaxy.

Bump. Some of us just want to build a library in the corner & rarely leave that corner. :roll:

Do remember; we'll just build the same thing in low earth orbit if earth turns out to be too noisy.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:

WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,175
Location: California, United States

17 Dec 2015, 12:37 pm

can't hold your breath for it if you are guy

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,911
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

17 Dec 2015, 12:42 pm

No not creepy, especially if you guys already know each other.

_________________
We won't go back.

b9
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Aug 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,003
Location: australia

17 Dec 2015, 12:51 pm

i do not think in terms of "moves". to me it is just a natural progression.
like the girl at the supermarket and me know each other quite well, but no moves were made.
we feel comfortable with each other to the degree that it is kind of worrisome to me (impending friend wanting to come over type of thing).
too much for me, but it takes no moves. moves are like fake dance steps just performed out of protocol.

Page 2 of 4 [ 51 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4 Next

Jump to:

Female or male making the first move? Post Reply New Topic

Female or male making the first move?