Women thinking lowly of their local men.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Feb 2015, 3:54 am

I don't ever recall my dad asking mom to fetch him a glass of water, and they're 10 years apart, lately she would only do him a favor for something which is difficult for his age.

But again, they were always both working parents, I think this serving-the-man thing occurs more in the household where the woman is a housewife (without exterior job), because she would subconsciously act on "he brings me money and security, I bring him comfort" kinda of give and take deal. Women are more likely to be non-employed housewives in the East, so that may be the root of this difference.



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11 Feb 2015, 4:03 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I don't ever recall my dad asking mom to fetch him a glass of water, and they're 10 years apart, lately she would only do something which is difficult for his age.

But again, they were always both working parents, I think this serving-the-man occur more in the households where the woman is a housewife (without exterior job), because she would subconsciously act on "he brings me money and security, I bring him comfort" kinda of give and take deal. Women are more likely to be non-employed housewives in the East, so that may be the root of this difference.



It's done down here even when both work. It's just considered what you do.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Feb 2015, 4:09 am

OliveOilMom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I don't ever recall my dad asking mom to fetch him a glass of water, and they're 10 years apart, lately she would only do something which is difficult for his age.

But again, they were always both working parents, I think this serving-the-man occur more in the households where the woman is a housewife (without exterior job), because she would subconsciously act on "he brings me money and security, I bring him comfort" kinda of give and take deal. Women are more likely to be non-employed housewives in the East, so that may be the root of this difference.



It's done down here even when both work. It's just considered what you do.


Well, tbh, mom was always used to do all the hard cooking - he tried many times and it was a disaster every time to unspeakable proportion, he's only good in making tea, juice and sandwiches.

That's why I've made sure to learn to do some basic cooking, didn't want to end up that horrible at it lol.



Echolalia
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11 Feb 2015, 5:07 am

Familiarity not only breeds contempt, it can also give good insight as well. I've dated men from cultures where the local women have all adamantly said they would not date a local. Mostly the prejudice comes down to local culture and an awareness of the poor behaviour which is prevalent in the local population. Whereas a foreigner cannot easily tell the difference between a cultural difference that is worth having patience about, or an indicator of poor character traits which are best avoided.

On the surface, someone you are attracted to is always going to appear better in the beginning. There's the whole emotional and hormonal rose coloured glasses effect. But if you add lack of awareness about local culture into that, it can get very intoxicating. The differences you can see are probably quite appealing, things like the opposite sex being more attentive than you are accustomed to. Acknowledging things that others have taken for granted in you. Maybe, in their eyes you are more physically attractive than you would be judged by people who are familiar with your attributes. All very appealing.

But cultural differences that aren't so appealing have a way of only revealing themselves in the long term, once you are co-habitating, living away from family etc. You might even discover out of the blue that actually your new lovely partner have been secretly behaving in ways that you did not anticipate and do not approve of....but it's quite common for people of that culture. Cultural blindness is another attractor because you can superimpose on your partner all your secret desires and you are not hindered by what you know about say your own kind. But it can just as easily hide things you may very much dislike about them too.


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goofygoobers
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11 Feb 2015, 5:27 am

Fnord wrote:
If western women would not play hard-to-get, and maybe even show a little gratitude for the attentions of a courtly gentleman, maybe western men would not be so interested in eastern women, who seem to appreciate being treated well.

Not every western woman is playing hard to get. In fact, I appreciate any attention I get from a guy unless it's creepy. And when I mean creepy, I mean in a "let's have sex even though I KNOW you're a minor" kind of way.



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11 Feb 2015, 8:20 am

I lived overseas for many years and dated several "local" guys -- not because I disliked American men, but because 99% of men are NOT American if you happen to live in Dublin.

Guys who b***h about women not appreciating their "courtly" advances and/or aren't sufficiently "grateful" for their overtures? May as well put a post it not on their forehead that reads "I'm an over-entitled doofus! Avoid me like the plague!!).



Fnord
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11 Feb 2015, 7:41 pm

Over-entitled doofus? Really? Sorry kid, but I just like treating women with manners and respect, which is something that western women seem to take for granted, and eastern women seem to reciprocate.

Or, to paraphrase Somerset Maugham: "Western women treat as an entitlement a degree of respect and kindness in their men that Eastern women treat as something to be earned."

And earn it, they do!



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11 Feb 2015, 7:43 pm

I take manners and respect as a given.
I also take it as a given that I will show manners and respect toward others.


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KayteeKay
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11 Feb 2015, 9:47 pm

Fnord wrote:
Over-entitled doofus? Really? Sorry kid, but I just like treating women with manners and respect, which is something that western women seem to take for granted, and eastern women seem to reciprocate.

Or, to paraphrase Somerset Maugham: "Western women treat as an entitlement a degree of respect and kindness in their men that Eastern women treat as something to be earned."

And earn it, they do!


I believe folks are entitled to a measure of dignity and respect for EXISTING - guess you don't.

The local women? The ones who want nothing to do with you? Might well be onto something!



qFox
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11 Feb 2015, 11:04 pm

I think this goes both ways. In my country a lot of women seek men who take more initiative, whom are more adventurous and risk taking than the local men. A lot of men in my country ( including me ) on the other hand seek women who are more homely, gentle and caring than the local women. I guess it is natural that we seek something that is not commonly provided by our own local environment.



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11 Feb 2015, 11:09 pm

So men never think negatively of local woman? Is that why they never order brides through the mail like they were objects out of Sears? :roll:



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11 Feb 2015, 11:33 pm

Fnord wrote:
If western women would not play hard-to-get, and maybe even show a little gratitude for the attentions of a courtly gentleman, maybe western men would not be so interested in eastern women, who seem to appreciate being treated well.


If you wouldn't mind, please expand on your answer. Please define for me specifically the word "appreciate." What do these women do that stands out as so different?
Thanks.



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12 Feb 2015, 12:57 am

As a male I have grown tired of dating the average westernized woman. I have plenty of male friends that would agree with me on this subject, seems like the only ones that don't are the ones that have been in a happy marriage for years and can't relate to what it is like to date anymore. There are plenty of men that are part of the same problem as these women though, it goes both ways. There are obviously problems with westernized culture when half of all marriages end in a divorce. I've spoken to people from other countries and they always tell me it is nowhere near as bad where they live.



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12 Feb 2015, 2:08 am

goofygoobers wrote:
Fnord wrote:
If western women would not play hard-to-get, and maybe even show a little gratitude for the attentions of a courtly gentleman, maybe western men would not be so interested in eastern women, who seem to appreciate being treated well.

Not every western woman is playing hard to get. In fact, I appreciate any attention I get from a guy unless it's creepy. And when I mean creepy, I mean in a "let's have sex even though I KNOW you're a minor" kind of way.


says you 19. hows that a minor o.O

so you'd like clingy men?



Echolalia
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12 Feb 2015, 2:23 am

Fnord wrote:
Or, to paraphrase Somerset Maugham: "Western women treat as an entitlement a degree of respect and kindness in their men that Eastern women treat as something to be earned."


That's awesome. Now all we need to do is encourage more western men who want their respect earned to seek eastern brides. This solves so many problems.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Feb 2015, 3:51 am

Fnord, by Eastern do you mean Eastern Europe and Russia too? Or just Asia?