Should I clearly disclose my height?

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Nobody reads the whole EYES: blue HAIR: brown WEIGHT: 160 etc etc section of your dating profile. Annoying as it may seem, you really ought to be saying "Hey btw I'm short" so girls already have that in their head when they go out with you. I'm not short, but I know what being short(er) than your girlfriend feels like, and I don't like it. I'm 5'10 and I had a girlfriend who was 6ft and when she wore heels I felt like I was dying inside. I used to look over my shoulder to see if anybody was snickering at me when we were out in public.

There are short women out there. Maybe they're not online. Maybe they're out there IRL. If women have a problem with you being short, the solution is to date short women, IMO. If you're 5'3, a woman who's 4'11 to 5'2 would be perfect for you. They're out there. My aunt is 4'11. Don't date my aunt though that'd be gross and she's probably way too old for you.

And oh, just little off-topic since some people tend to stigmatize, that's a good quote from a good article on heightism, it's really good, you should read it all:

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/vicky-c ... 51248.html

My mistake.

I think it's the obligation of the person who might want to date you to look at your profile thoroughly.

I don't believe you have to state your height explicitly before a date if a girl has already looked at your profile.

If you're 32 and still single, I doubt it's just your height. If you're single at an older age, chances are you're doing something wrong and I doubt it's just your short stature. Because theres plenty of short dudes out there who can get a date.

You're right, I never claimed it was the case.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 17 Feb 2015, 6:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I wholeheartedly apologize, sir, for not completely reading your post.

I wouldn't want that done to me.

Not enough, now bow before me....

It's all fine - no biggie.

I'm only gonna bow so low!

I want to have a decent back for THOSE occasions.

why is it assumed that single people who are older must have something wrong with them?


also op why dont you measure in meters instead of cm? o.O

It is simply how height commonly expressed (metric).

You could put it in that section "The first thing people notice about me". Although I would also pair it up with something else that's a little more lighthearted, so that it doesn't sound like you're overly concerned with your height. For example, you could say something like the following (and I wouldn't recommend using this but it's the only example I could think of on short notice): "My height, and my dashing good looks!"

I think that your height does hurt you with respect to dating, but it's something that you can't change, and there are plenty of short men who have success with dating (one of my co-workers is 5'-0" and he's happily married). My suggestion is to focus on the things that are in your control, rather than those that aren't.

I will contribute to this conversation as a woman who is on the tall side (5'8") married to a man on the short side (5'4").

Before we were dating, I was a bit turned-off by my husband's height. Mostly this was because I felt awkward standing near him. I have also felt the same way around petite females. I feel like a huge GIANT, which makes me very self-conscious about my own height and weight and general size. I am just not a small person (though not grossly overweight.) My husband's height was one of the complaints I had about him, though we were good friends. My mother basically put my perspective in check, and personality won the day. We are happily married now.

I still feel awkward out in public, but I just deal with it. Since then, I have met a lot of other "odd couples" and it helps to realize that couples come in all kinds of sizes and shapes and ages. (Mostly, though, these odd couples are older...) I think media harms this idea because movies and TV shows always show these "perfectly matched" couples.

My husband is quite short, but most of the guys I have either dated (not many) or were interested in were about 5'6". For some reason, the majority of guys I have ever known throughout my life were on the short side. Dating and marrying someone shorter was something I expected because I am on the tall side myself, and I was used to guys being on the short side. 4 inches is a big difference, but I have gotten used to it.

OP, I don't think you need to draw further attention to your height if you have already put it in your profile.

If a woman is surprised by your height, I wouldn't take it personally. First, even if a woman reads your profile and registers that you are short, she might not be able to "picture" how your height seems in real life. Also, if she feels awkward about the height difference, that is NATURAL. She might not be used to being around a guy significantly shorter. It takes getting used to. She also might not know any "odd couples" and may think that other people may judge her if she's with a guy much shorter. She may not be comfortable in her own skin. Expecting her to be completely at ease with herself is a bit much to ask, just as someone expecting you to be completely at ease with yourself in every way is a bit much.

I also have to add that I was a bit concerned about marrying a guy much shorter. Life for short guys doesn't seem to be easy, according to stories my husband has told, and life for tall girls isn't so easy. I was concerned about how the genes were going to mix up when it came to having children. I knew I would help my children accept how they were however they came out, but I am THANKFUL that my son got the tall genes and my daughter got the short ones. If it was the other way around, that would be tough.

So, note that all these things might be swimming around in the mind of a potential girlfriend.

While I would not bring extra attention to your height before hand, if a woman seems uncomfortable about it when you meet in person, go ahead and address it then. You could make a joke about being short or point out some benefits of being short. Something that breaks the ice on the issue and makes light of the situation. It would communicate, "I know that the height difference can feel awkward - it's OK if you feel awkward." Then, when put at ease, she might be able to see your personality come through more.

^^ I do not want to deal with someone who would feels ashamed by my mere presence next to her for some reason, height or not, and so concerned about giving her children my bad genes - so no thanks, I have enough concerns and difficulties already in dating and the last thing I want to add to this is convincing her to not feel awkward by my presence.

I have tasted being with someone who feels that way several times and I don't want to have a lifetime dealing with this.

I like Stargazer43's suggestion, I wanna filter out those who would feel embarrassed and awkward.

A bit taller girl, ok - but a girl who feels and makes me feels that it's wrong to be together, big no.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 18 Feb 2015, 10:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

I am just saying a girl could feel awkward because she is not USED to it. It might take some time. You sound like you want someone who is already completely at ease with height differences. You might not find that.

I knew a tall female who asked out a shorter guy she liked a lot (and he was also younger), and I didn't see any of those awkwardness signs in her, in fact she never acted awkward around me when we two went out together tête-à-tête, and boy, she was significantly taller.

I can easily tell whether a girl is getting anxious and embarrassed about my height or not from a first encounter, and it's not necessarily the tallest ones who do it.

I am aiming at age range 28-34, adult enough : She's either ok with it or not.

I was thinking about your post nerdygirl,
Like really, is it too much to ask to not be treated like some source of embarrassment, like some dirt on shirt while you're out (I am sure that no one would like to be treated this way too)? Regardless of the reasons and what she's used for, I am not obliged to go thro this and I can't see how I am gonna connect to a such girl feeling this way - and I can't see how much time can rectify it, even you still sound to have an issue with your husband's height after years of marriage.

I would really do her a favor for not attempting to see her again.

Anyway, thank you for your feedback, for one it really proves Alex's wrong and that it's not always the short man's being delusional and anxious in the head.