Why Rejection Is A Good Thing

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I disagree with this comparison.

While I don't like being rejected, I do think there's some good in it.

It's not like being slapped at all. Being slapped is a punishment. Being rejected simply is what it is. It's not intended to punish you for anything. It's simply a form of communication delivering a message & there's nothing to do about it but receive, accept, & process it - then move on.

It's all a matter of perspective whether it reinforces anything negative. If you dwell on negative thoughts and feel that your self worth is somehow reduced by rejection, then you certainly could trap yourself in an unhealthy thought-loop. I recognized myself doing this a couple of years ago & used those thoughts in self administered CBT to refute them with logical statements in order to teach myself that I was being irrational/illogical about it & that just because someone rejected me doesn't mean my worth is any less, it simply means that they're not romantically attracted to me - and that simply is what it is. OTOH, rejection can be a very valuable thing.. as just like a persistent salesman (I've worked in sales several times & will again in my career path.), you know you're going to have to hear several no's before you get a yes.. so, with that in mind, each no (or rejection) could trigger the thought "Great! That's one more "no" down, and that means I'm that much closer to a "yes!"" Like I said, it's all a matter of perspective/perception.. rejection can tear you down OR build you up, it depends entirely on what you think about it.

I disagree to that. Being rejected is a punishment for not making sure she was interested in the first place. Thus, to avoid further punishment, I'd better be more careful about verifying interest so I don't end up being rejected again. That's how it works for me.



I generally do not dwell on negative thoughts, rather I'm typically positive about things. However, that does not include being rejected by girls I'm interested in.



I'm not able to fool myself to such a huge extent. I know that I cannot handle rejection, and that I cannot handle breakups either, so I need to cope with that.



More like if somebody turned down something I suggested I'd get argumentative and obsessive to show I'm right. Such a tactic would be really bad in regards to dating rejection.

Actually, no. I've succeeded more times than I've been rejected, and I'm in a long-term relationship.

How would I know if I'm interested still? We haven't spoken. We could do it for a year, then we finally have a conversation and I find out I don't enjoy talking to you. If you asked me on a date after staring at me for a few weeks but not talking to me I'd mostly likely be creeped out and say no.

I'm not afraid of being rejected. I know I can't be everyone's type and really don't care. I'm afraid of being alone forever no matter how many rejections I shrug off, while men online complain that I can end it at any time by just taking anyone who'll have me for a one-night stand.

Emotional women reject me, however gay men keep hitting on me, however I am not into homosexual experiences. If gay men would not just want sex I would think about it.

Ah, yes. Rejection. Something you hate feeling when it happens. But you kinda appreciate it later on when you start to appreciate yourself and the simple things in life much more. This includes the opportunities that present itself.

It's not.

This is a positive way to look at it. But, um, what happens if they make harassment charges, or you end up with a restraining order? Sometimes persistence is a good thing. Relationships take work, and time, to form. But it might not be the best basis for forming a positive relationship to continually ignore what the other person is telling you. Rejection is painful, I get it, I've dealt with it, sometimes I don't want want to believe it either. Yeah, a soft no might be an indicator that the other person thinks you're jumping the gun and might be open to being asked at a later time, but ignoring a really clear no or rejection just seems like a bad idea.


So, being rejected is actually punishment for not being psychic and knowing what another person wanted without asking them first?

Rejection hurts I know so troll them later on the internet youll feel better!

No, it is one of two things:

1. You are hitting on NT-types, and then you must be able to deal with rejection as this is part of the dating game.

2. You are clueless as to how interest is communicated in neurodiversity, and then it really is your own fault that you end up being rejected. Thus, you are punished for being clueless.

Kind of true, I'm afraid. Rejection and a sudden change of their interests often ends with anger and feelings of revenge, and when it doesn't it will go the depressive or obsessive way, which is even worse. That's just how it is, and a good reason for both parties to avoid such things.

I didn't mean several no's/rejections from the same person. I meant several no's/rejections from several different people until you find one that says yes.

If you are a person that needs a lot of talking then we would probably not go well along anyway. I'm not a very verbal person, and I prefer girls that don't mind if I don't talk a lot to them. In fact, I probably wouldn't even consider somebody that couldn't just sit close to me for half an hour without saying anything.

Honestly, I'm the same way. It's just that it seems most girls aren't into that.

I figured out how to fake being a good conversationalist. The first step was being able to admit that I suck at it. The second step was figuring out how to get her to take the lead. The key to it all is if I'm interested in her, I should be interested in everything she has to say. The irony is as long as I can keep my mouth shut most of the time and just keep her talking--and only talk if the purpose of me speaking is to throw the ball back--we can talk for hours.

I'm in a relationship now, and I've found that nothing changes even if you've been in a relationship as long as I have. As long as I keep my focus "less of me, more of her," things are GREAT.

Where I'd lose interest in a woman would be if I'd listened to her go on about herself for several hours and she shows no signs of being interested in me at all. I'm not going to go on and on about myself unless she absolutely insists on it, i.e. she keeps throwing the ball back in MY court and demands to get to know ME. If I don't feel she cares about me at all, then I know this ultimately isn't going to work.

It takes a long time for me to reach that point, though. The main thing is keeping the focus on the other person. Find what they are most passionate about, get them to share, and you'll have their attention for hours. You hardly have to say anything at all.

I don't think it is that uncommon. I know a few that are like that including wife, daughter and at least two or three more. The main thing probably is trying to uphold cultural norms that you must talk all the time, and that talking is some kind of "test" for compatibility in dating. For me the reverse is much more important as I cannot get along long-term with anybody that requires me to talk all the time. I'm fine with them talking a lot and just listening, but if I'm required to participate a lot then it's not ok for something long-term.



Yeah, that seems like a good strategy.