Died laughing from this letter I got on dating site

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kraftiekortie
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14 Apr 2015, 7:06 pm

I like "for real" stuff. I don't like things like Dungeons and Dragons too much.

Fnord
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14 Apr 2015, 7:27 pm

During my single days, a woman who posted an interest in AD&D would have received a response from me.

Lazar_Kaganovich
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14 Apr 2015, 8:42 pm

MollyTroubletail wrote:

Sent to my inbox from someone I never heard of. <Mythical animal> removed because his user name *is* the mythical animal.

My name is Shaman <mythical animal>. I bid you greetings and tis a pleasure to meet you I'm sure.

I'm a Master of the Second Order which means I've been in this realm for over twenty years and counting. I am the Lord and Master of the House of <mythical animal>.

This lifestyle should be enjoyed, it should be made to be as thrilling as it is intense. It cannot be taught by those who sit behind a computer screen and pretend to be that which they are not. It takes years of TRUE training under the watchful eye of a Master of the Arts (myself 3yrs) who is the only one who can profess a worthy apprentice trained and give name to him, not something someone names themself and claim Dom.

So if you tire of the cyber-playing, none knowing p**** hunters who seem to flood these sites, come and let us build a trust and talk of things that thrill you to the core by the mere thought of them. I bid you adieu.

Shaman <mythical animal>

It's totally LAME. I mean, it's not even funny fer cryin out loud!

Aristophanes
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14 Apr 2015, 9:31 pm

I suggest you reply by casting a spell of permanent genital shrinkage chained with a level 10 spell of banishment.

Antharis
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15 Apr 2015, 12:24 am

Sounds like a shotgun mail (non-personalized, mass mailed cover letter style correspondence)

" It cannot be taught by those who sit behind a computer screen and pretend to be that which they are not. It takes years of TRUE training under the watchful eye of a Master of the Arts (myself 3yrs) " THIS here is a true gem of irony. Hilarious find.

nick007
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15 Apr 2015, 1:19 am

I'd be worried that person is very delusional but I'm an Aspie who tends to take things literally.

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Kiriae
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15 Apr 2015, 9:47 am

It's better than one that I got in a chatroom.

A guy said he is a dwarf from a fairy tale and would love to live in my panties.

I still wonder if I was talking with a guy or his pe**s.

naturalplastic
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15 Apr 2015, 10:08 am

MollyTroubletail wrote:

Fifty Shades of the Hobbit?

Is he talking about D&D?

Or is he talking about S&M?

He drops the word "Dom", and other things that allude to S&M. Though he is also into fantasy imagery.

If you like to mix kink with sword and sorcery than he might be just the thing!

The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Apr 2015, 11:31 am

Kiriae wrote:

It's better than one that I got in a chatroom.

A guy said he is a dwarf from a fairy tale and would love to live in my panties.

I still wonder if I was talking with a guy or his pe**s.

Dwarves love caving.

rdos
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15 Apr 2015, 12:16 pm

Probably aspie, and possibly a catch if you like role-playing. :mrgreen:

Aristophanes
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15 Apr 2015, 2:29 pm

rdos wrote:

Probably aspie, and possibly a catch if you like role-playing. :mrgreen:

Unless it turns out he's an EVIL wizard with a dungeon of torture.

rdos
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15 Apr 2015, 2:33 pm

Aristophanes wrote:

rdos wrote:

Probably aspie, and possibly a catch if you like role-playing. :mrgreen:

Unless it turns out he's an EVIL wizard with a dungeon of torture.

Then she also needs to be into BD/SM for him to be a catch. Some of the hints points that way, yes.

Comets
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05 May 2015, 11:01 am

biostructure wrote:

I would respond (favorably) if I got this kind of message from a woman, even though I'm not into mythology or roleplaying. At least it would show that she's got a lively inner/imaginary world, as opposed to being another person trying to impress me with the foreign countries she's traveled to or how otherwise "worldly" or "cosmopolitan" she is. Maybe I have low standards, but at least I would've found someone unusual (though who knows if we'd have anything in common).

I would definitely see it as another person trying to impress me, if not a troll looking for funny responses, and I love weird people. There are a lot of weird people out there who are better avoided, though. The Internet has shown me some things.

At best, honest senders of messages like these are wearing their spirituality as decoration. At worst, they're completely delusional. Most likely, they're just messing around--that's my story that retains faith in humanity, and I'm sticking to it.

Either way, I'm not a gambling woman.

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