Why do girls stop messaging me? Need advice

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Likely to be something you are saying, not saying, or the way you are saying what you are saying. No way to know without seeing the convo.

'cause they're just not all that into you.

Sucks. It's reality.

If she's not into you, stop wasting your time. Find another one. This is the horrible reality of dating.

Also, well, this is the less depressing part:

Available women on the internet put up with a lot of attention from a lot of horny guys. People straight up asking them for sexts or just directly asking them for sex.

And then every now and then there is a super-suave guy who actually gets their attention, and instead of ignoring most of the attention they get, they start ignoring almost all other guys for a while.

The truth is that the internet is the worst place for people who aren't the alphas to look for potential mates. It's all about population and attraction, and if you aren't the alpha you want a SMALLER population.

Without seeing what you've written the women, it's impossible to say. Maybe you're creeping them out, maybe they're in the middle of finals or were recently in a car crash.

If the forum's not working for you, try a different one or an IRL approach.

Well I need to work up the courage to talk to girls irl. I'm a very shy guy.

Fixed this for you.

Balance your digestive system, minimize your AS symptoms, optimize your life. True story. I'm living proof. Having cleared out the bad & replaced them with mass amounts of good probiotic bacteria, my brain functions infinitely better & I'm intuitively socially in tune vs. intellectually processing what I need to to get by.

God damn, talking to women is hard. You show too little interest and they assume you're uninterested. You show too much interest and they think you're some creeper. How the **** am I supposed to succeed in dating?

Yah I probably did come on too strong to some of them. I honestly really have no idea what the hell i'm doing when I talk to girls. Me talking to girls is like my grandma playing COD online. We both suck and have no idea what we're doing.

Lets see girl #1 was 16 and i'm 20 so she probably thought I was too old for her.

Girl #2 I saw her recent forum posts and she mentions having a BF so that probably didn't work out either.

It's all about balance. Everything is. Including internally. Balance your gut flora and your brain functions turn on and you intuitively just know the social boundaries that you otherwise have to consciously learn and intellectually process. Seriously.

Lol grandma and COD - good example.

16... yeah, maybe a bit on the young side for ya.

BF? Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score! But yeah, she probably isn't looking. Ah well, at least you had a little practice chatting with the opposite sex - better than nothing. At least you can learn something from it, even if what you learned is what you did wrong then you can do better next time.

By pretending girls are *people* and talking to them as such.

Do you have friends and a social life? Female friends? If the answer to both is "no", that's the place you should start. You gotta walk before you can run.

If you do have a social life, ask your friends (particularly female friends) if they know any single girls they might introduce you to!

I think most important is the content of your conversations. I'd be willing to chat with you for a bit - i'm NT and have been on various ddating sites - I'm currently dating an Aspie, so I'm "safe" - plus I'm hella old.... But I could see from your chat style if that's it.

height is definitely an issue for women - true - we don't want to feel big and oafish and wierd ourselves. Insecurity etc. But if your personality says you can care for her and make her feel safe and attractive and interesting, height flies out the door.

Good luck -

^ No, it's not the content, in most of the cases it is not; unless it includes something obscene or too stupid.

It is simply what the other user said, females on the internet get bombarded everyday by some like 100 guys messaging them, eventually they will go for one and forget the 99.

There is a LOT of this. I felt like such an ass for not replying to everyone even if it was a "thanks no thanks" because I thought how flattering it was to get a message from anyone -

but yes - having recently been on POF, OKC and Match - I got about 13-14 messages a day on each and it would have been a full time job to keep up with all of them.... I don't think it had as much to do with looks, stats, profile write up. many of the players on these sites will hit up every female just cause, playing the numbers game....

But what hooked me in my current thing was the weirdness. I love his weirdness and that centers around the obsessive and awkward qualities that AS can bring, so don't go Robot yet.

Nope, it's not just a matter of players - those are a minority, it's rather simply the huge imbalance in genders too, if you have 1000 online male users right now while there are only 20 females online, then of course they'll feel bombarded even if only the quarter of them message them.

Very rare the women who would go for online dating to get boyfriends or casual sex, they don't need to, they are approached by guys in real life all the time and the latter would 'look' safer.

And don't believe the gender stats by the dating sites, check the active users yourself of both gender and compare.

You could improve your chances by choosing better sites. Some dating sites have even worse imbalance whereas others have better or even an opposite ratio. On a christian dating site, not only I get a lot more replies but I even was approached once. I'm very physically unattractive so on most sites I get no replies at all. I imagine aspergers dating site would be even worse.

Sometimes relationships aren't worth it at the time, ya know?

I tested okcupid right now, I filtered straight girls aged 23-35 and there were only 4 users, two of them with fake pics.

Then I switched to straight guys of same age range, and there were 32.

Imagine those 32 messaging those 4.

When dating sites boast about their gender balanced ratio, they usually include the inactives and the fake profiles - many girls create an account and just leave the next day. Also, so it's way easier for a girl to find a date on dating site, so she's way more likely to find someone earlier hence become inactive one site; so I bet that the number of female inactives are way way way more than male inactives.

What's funny, that the few active women there have developed a degrading view on guys there ie. desperate, online geeks...etc. they complain and whine a lot about how unattractive guys are there and about the one word messages.


Dating sites are great for women but it's a lottery game for men.