Asking someone out. How do you do it?

Page 2 of 3 [ 34 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

MishLuvsHer2Boys
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Oct 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,491
Location: Canada

13 May 2005, 11:26 am

And often generalizations are what puts up obstacles in understanding between the sexes as usual. What goes for the majority will always alienate the minority that do occur. :roll:



Sean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Apr 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,505

14 May 2005, 11:44 pm

alex wrote:
konungursvia is right. Girls will generally respond positively to comments about their looks. Commenting on a girl's looks is a way to make sure she sees you as a potential mate instead of a potential friend. Also, girls don't always want what they say they want. Girls only say what they *think* they want which tends not to correlate with what they really want.


MishLuvsHer2Boys wrote:
And often generalizations are what puts up obstacles in understanding between the sexes as usual. What goes for the majority will always alienate the minority that do occur.


So should I just spin a wheel to decide what to say? It seems like that would improve my chances of getting it right sometimes. :?



violet_yoshi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Aug 2004
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,297

19 May 2005, 10:57 am

I have a question. There's a guy at Gamestop who I like. So how as a female, would I go about letting him know I'm interested in him?



jman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Oct 2004
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,278

19 May 2005, 11:59 am

Quote:
I have a question. There's a guy at Gamestop who I like. So how as a female, would I go about letting him know I'm interested in him?



In general it's alot easier for females to pick up males, even aspie ones :wink: But always try strike up a conversation first. I personally find it freaky when a girl just walks up to me and randomly asks me out. Just go there one day and a strike up a conversation with him. Go and buy a game you really like, and say something like "you know I really love this game because...." then state your reasons why you like game so much. Then ask him what his favorite games are, chances are since he's working at gamestop he must have a strong interest in video games. See if he likes some of the same games you like, chances are he does, if he mentions a game you two mutually like, start sharing some of your favorite aspects of that game. Doing this sets common ground. Then you can start asking him questions such as "where are you from?" "do you go to school?" "How old are you?" etc.

If he seems to reciporicate with you such as him asking you questions about you back, chances are he is also interested in you in same way. Also look for certain facial expressions such as smiling and laughing. Then ask him if he would like to exchange numbers so you two can hang out. Always keep it casual at first.

However, if he rejects in some way, or brushes you off, don't take it personally, their are many fish in the sea, you might not have been his type. He may also already have a partner.

Also one more thing, if he needs to wait on customer let him, then continue the coversation where you left off. Also avoid trying to strike up a conversation while it's really busy.

hope this helps

Jman



Sanityisoverrated
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2004
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,382

19 May 2005, 12:27 pm

It can be difficult talking to someone in a store though, because its hard to tell if they are being genuine or just being nice because its part of their job. Well thats what I find anyway. :?



violet_yoshi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Aug 2004
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,297

19 May 2005, 9:35 pm

Sanityisoverrated wrote:
It can be difficult talking to someone in a store though, because its hard to tell if they are being genuine or just being nice because its part of their job. Well thats what I find anyway. :?


You may have a point, but it does seem he acts kind of nervous around me. So I thought that might be a sign he likes me.



TheWhale
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 204

20 May 2005, 5:36 am

violet_yoshi wrote:
Sanityisoverrated wrote:
It can be difficult talking to someone in a store though, because its hard to tell if they are being genuine or just being nice because its part of their job. Well thats what I find anyway. :?


You may have a point, but it does seem he acts kind of nervous around me. So I thought that might be a sign he likes me.


You really don't know why he is nervous. It could also be that you are making him uncomfortable. I was a cashier at a college bookstore and a few women did this around me and it felt like I was being stalked.
I mean, they had no real reason to hang around and I had work to do.

Just say something like, "I know you are busy. Can I meet you during a break or lunch and talk with you?" That shows you have an interest and are socially sensitive. You will end your mystery immediately. The fish will either bite or not.

Jerry Newport



pizzaboss
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2004
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 799
Location: Oswego, NY

20 May 2005, 9:49 am

Try to get his interest somehow. Ask him questions and try to get him interested. Ask him out to lunch or something.



Last edited by pizzaboss on 20 May 2005, 1:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

De_Zeurkous
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 57

20 May 2005, 1:19 pm

To be honest: i don't really know. I let my feelings take over, and everything became alright and nothing special (for AS) happened. Just like an ``ordinary'' love.


_________________
[#doom] <Jon^D> zeur: you're not making any sense
[#doom] <zeurkous> do i ever?


violet_yoshi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Aug 2004
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,297

20 May 2005, 2:59 pm

TheWhale wrote:
violet_yoshi wrote:
Sanityisoverrated wrote:
It can be difficult talking to someone in a store though, because its hard to tell if they are being genuine or just being nice because its part of their job. Well thats what I find anyway. :?


You may have a point, but it does seem he acts kind of nervous around me. So I thought that might be a sign he likes me.


You really don't know why he is nervous. It could also be that you are making him uncomfortable. I was a cashier at a college bookstore and a few women did this around me and it felt like I was being stalked.
I mean, they had no real reason to hang around and I had work to do.

Just say something like, "I know you are busy. Can I meet you during a break or lunch and talk with you?" That shows you have an interest and are socially sensitive. You will end your mystery immediately. The fish will either bite or not.

Jerry Newport


I see your point but first, I wasn't just hanging around. Secondly, he seemed as interested to talk to me as I was to him.

There are no social events where I live. Do you know what it's like not being able to meet people, because your snooty town would rather spend it's money on the latest Anorexia clothing store, then seeing that the people in it's community actually have a way of getting out and doing something?

Finally, I'm making him nervous? You know, this always happens at video game places. Oh they feel weird cuz a girl comes in, and actually KNOWS what she's talking about. You know, it's his responsibility too if he's sending me messages, unintentionally.

I'm sorry you felt those women were "stalking" you, but you know we have enough time as it is going into a store, where we don't have to act coy and brainless, to get what we want. The minute we show we have more than a few brain cells, men feel intimidated by it and act out like little children.



De_Zeurkous
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 57

20 May 2005, 3:10 pm

violet_yoshi wrote:
The minute we show we have more than a few brain cells, men feel intimidated by it and act out like little children.


Not everyone! I actually like when a girl knows what she's talking about. Maybe it's because i have a rather femenistic mother (not extreme though), but i know a lot of nerdy girls and i like them. Not becuz the're girls, but because they are nerdy. Sexes are equal to me, except ofcourse that i'm gay :P


_________________
[#doom] <Jon^D> zeur: you're not making any sense
[#doom] <zeurkous> do i ever?


ghotistix
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,186
Location: Massachusetts

20 May 2005, 3:17 pm

I've never been even mildly attracted to any girl that wasn't extremely intelligent, nor have I held any respect for anyone who actively hides their intelligence. I think it's pathetic that some men are intimidated by women who are better than them in any way.



De_Zeurkous
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 57

20 May 2005, 3:29 pm

ghotistix wrote:
I've never been even mildly attracted to any girl that wasn't extremely intelligent, nor have I held any respect for anyone who actively hides their intelligence. I think it's pathetic that some men are intimidated by women who are better than them in any way.


I actually hide some of my intelligence for most people, because they think: ``if he's trying to talk like someone with much more life experience, he must be exaggerating about his capabilities''. They think i feel that i am more then other people. I absolutely don't feel that way, and that's the last thing i want to project.


_________________
[#doom] <Jon^D> zeur: you're not making any sense
[#doom] <zeurkous> do i ever?


violet_yoshi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Aug 2004
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,297

20 May 2005, 3:29 pm

De_Zeurkous wrote:
violet_yoshi wrote:
The minute we show we have more than a few brain cells, men feel intimidated by it and act out like little children.


Not everyone! I actually like when a girl knows what she's talking about. Maybe it's because i have a rather femenistic mother (not extreme though), but i know a lot of nerdy girls and i like them. Not becuz the're girls, but because they are nerdy. Sexes are equal to me, except ofcourse that i'm gay :P


Well I think I meant more NT guys, not Aspie guys.



pizzaboss
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2004
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 799
Location: Oswego, NY

20 May 2005, 4:17 pm

Hope it works out for you.



TheWhale
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 204

21 May 2005, 6:22 am

I see your point but first, I wasn't just hanging around. Secondly, he seemed as interested to talk to me as I was to him.

Well, possibly but he may also know that is not usually a good idea to spend much time talking to people instead of working.

There are no social events where I live. Do you know what it's like not being able to meet people, because your snooty town would rather spend it's money on the latest Anorexia clothing store, then seeing that the people in it's community actually have a way of getting out and doing something?

Finally, I'm making him nervous?

I didn't say that. I said that might be the situation.


You know, this always happens at video game places. Oh they feel weird cuz a girl comes in, and actually KNOWS what she's talking about. You know, it's his responsibility too if he's sending me messages, unintentionally.

He has no responsibility for that at all. He has a job to do and if you want social interaction, ask for it and stop playing this silly, indirect game.

I'm sorry you felt those women were "stalking" you, but you know we have enough time as it is going into a store, where we don't have to act coy and brainless, to get what we want.

Well, they kept coming back to talk and I did nothing to encourage them and I am sorry they just didn't get it.


The minute we show we have more than a few brain cells, men feel intimidated by it and act out like little children.[/quote]

Oh, you think I prefer dumb women? Like the national merit scholars I dated at Michigan? Like my wife, with a dozen PhDs in her family; daughter of two world famous astronomers? The women I usually date have more brains in their pinkie than you will ever be able to even imagine.

Jerry Newport