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Amandar
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13 Jul 2015, 11:38 am

Marky9 wrote:
I envy you having a doggie to turn to!

To be drearily scientific for a moment: for me a lot of the break-up distress comes from oxytocin withdrawal. A recent study suggested that humans can get an oxytocin surge from looking into their dog's eyes. Now I really want a dog again!


I did not know that. I can't wait to go home and wrestle with him. He's a big goofy mutt :heart:



sly279
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13 Jul 2015, 2:29 pm

why did you break up with him?
why do you care since you broke up.
O.o I don't get this. usually people break up because they don't like the person anymore so they don't care and go find a new person. Ive never been able to end a frienship. I've never had gf, had some close calls and they broke it off.
not trying to be mean I really just don't understand. o.O



ProfessorJohn
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13 Jul 2015, 2:42 pm

Amandar wrote:
It's hard for me to focus and I don't have the motivation to do ANYTHING. I feel like a zombie.


That is called grief, which is very similar to depression. Very common when we lose something meaningful to us. It does get better with time, but it sure can hurt to go through it.

I hope you can feel better soon and find someone even better for your next relationship.



ProfessorJohn
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13 Jul 2015, 2:44 pm

Crazyfool wrote:
Why you looking for a switch, your brain isn't a dam circuit board.... Smarty pants. It's called redirecting or channeling your emotions. Turn that "poor me" attitude into "f*k him I can get better attitude" and see which one suits you better ;)


If only changing emotions or internal messages was that easy. Sounds good on paper, very difficult to pull off in real life.



Amandar
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13 Jul 2015, 2:50 pm

sly279 wrote:
why did you break up with him?
why do you care since you broke up.
O.o I don't get this. usually people break up because they don't like the person anymore so they don't care and go find a new person. Ive never been able to end a frienship. I've never had gf, had some close calls and they broke it off.
not trying to be mean I really just don't understand. o.O


Matters of the heart always seem to be messy and complicated. In my case, I do care about him. I care about what is best for him as well as myself. He doesn't want a relationship. We were friends with benefits, though he tells me that he doesn't think of it that way (still not entirely clear on what he thought it was). I told him that I knew if we continued to see each other that I would continually want more of a relationship than what he was comfortable with. I decided it would be best to discontinue our romance because what we wanted from one another was not the same. I love this man. If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was. He is not mine to love, he never was.



Amandar
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13 Jul 2015, 2:53 pm

ProfessorJohn wrote:
Amandar wrote:
It's hard for me to focus and I don't have the motivation to do ANYTHING. I feel like a zombie.


That is called grief, which is very similar to depression. Very common when we lose something meaningful to us. It does get better with time, but it sure can hurt to go through it.

I hope you can feel better soon and find someone even better for your next relationship.


Thank you. It's rough. It's pretty gut-wrenching when you realize that you're head-over-heels for someone but they do not feel the same way about you at all.



ProfessorJohn
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13 Jul 2015, 2:54 pm

Or he wasn't mature enough at this time for that type of a relationship.



ProfessorJohn
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13 Jul 2015, 10:50 pm

Amandar wrote:
Thank you. It's rough. It's pretty gut-wrenching when you realize that you're head-over-heels for someone but they do not feel the same way about you at all.


I've been there, for most of my life. It sucks, it really does. Most of the ones I was head over heels for wouldn't even give me to benefit of a pseudo-relationship.



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15 Jul 2015, 10:46 pm

Amandar wrote:
I had that thought too...but then I worried about who would feed the dog. At least my dog loves me lol


An animal's love is unconditional. That's what makes them so great. Hell, sometimes I would rather be around animals, than I would people. :D