Anyone ever turn down free sex?

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I will give some contrarian advice. If you find this woman attractive and if you have generally positive thoughts about her as a person, I think you should accept her offer. You may not know why she seems to have chosen you but if you knew the reason you might actually be flattered. It is no surprise that we often miss "signals" including positive ones. What she is proposing should under no circumstances be taken as an insult.

A lot of men have the impression that there are women who would probably like to have sex with them, but don't because they are afraid of slut shaming or because they were raised to avoid having sex unless a rigorous set of criteria are met. Try to not be like those (hypothetical) women and have some fun with another person.

One suggestion that comes to mind is that if and when you "get together", you begin (while still fully dressed) by talking in detail about what you are going to do so that expectations are met on both sides. Also having such a talk will probably get you more in the mood if you still have qualms at that point.

BTW this advice is based on my having been in similar situations a couple of times when I was younger and thinking about what I would have done differently at the time. I did have "performance problems" a couple of times although there was nothing physically wrong with me and I was 100% sincere in my desire to have sex with the other person. As part of my proposed "talk" I would suggest you mention the possibility (unless you have absolutely no concern with that) and find out how she would react.

once. she was pushy and wanted me to come and meet her for the first time at 2 am. I don't make fast decisions on such an important issue. I also would not be able to hide it as family would be wondering where I was going at that time of night. but regardless. I can't do sex like that. makes me anxious. I need a build up, and to meet few times before.

I didn't turn her down due to moral obligations or fear of "slut shaming" but more of a lack of challenge. When you have to work for something, its a million times better. But given to you for nothing? Its just like....why bother? Or maybe I just have a subconcious desire to score with those out of my league and thus setting my self up for failure.....

Desperation is not sexy to me.

I've turned down a good handful of offers, merely because I'm super monogamous and nothing appeals to me about casual encounters. I guess I'm what would be labeled a "demisexual" in that regard.

I've never had the chance to turn down such an offer, but I'd suggest that we have a date and get to know each other first.

No, I never have. I was always hyper sexual. These days I am married and monogamous, but when I was younger I would not turn down an offer. It's the cruellest hand to be dealt, being an awkward but hyper sexual aspie that woman don't normally like, so if the chance came up I'd embrace it.
these days my medication would have put paid to that sort of thing anyway, even were I not happily married

This woman who wants to have sex with you is probably asking so because she wants to fill a void. From what I hear that is usually the reason why people reappear in your life asking for something like that as though they are in a rush. She did reappear after three years so she was probably seeing someone else and it did not work out. If you want to do it, then do it.

I have turned down sex numerous times because, firstly, I am not ready for it and, secondly, I am not really interested in acting out on it.

That vid really shows that a lot of girls are bi-curious:

I have turned it down but some have forced it on me so me saying no meant yes to them anyway.

Does it count if I did it inadvertadly? Yeah, it happened once in seventh grade, but I was too dumb to realize that's what she was offering me. If I had chance to go back though, I'd take her offer in a heartbeat.

It was Pride week in Vancouver over the past several days and I went to more parties in a week or so than over the last few years combined. It wasn't about getting laid for me as I was just out to have fun. Anyways, I turned down several offers to hookup for sex. 1) None of them were my type anyways. 2) Just wasn't looking for that this week, rather just hang out and have fun. 3) I've been thinking more and more about going on dates and eventually meeting someone I really click with vs. doing the hookup thing. So many amazing couples out there, including some of my friends.. and so yeah I'm just more and more into the idea of dating someone vs. hooking up with someone.

There's No Such Thing As Free Sex

(Yes, I have. Numerous times.)

I have. Many times. I wasn't attracted to the guy or I was in a relationship or he was just a douchebag or I wasn't in the mood. I've had guys turn me down too, probably for the same exact reasons.

People think guys won't turn it down because guys have a harder time getting it in the first place than gals do. While we may not be able to get it from the guy we want at the time, we could get it from somebody at any point in time without too much effort on our parts. I think that is because a whole lot of guys, enough so people would say "most" even if it's not true, at times only care about getting laid and don't care if she's pretty, nice, likes you, etc. Of course sometimes girls feel that very same way.

I've never been turned down by a not extremely hot guy though. But not extremely hot girls will turn guys down more often than not extremely hot guys will, all other circumstances being available and horny and the same.

I've already seen twice here that TANSTAFS thing. How does it work? Free sex is sex someone is willing to have with you without requiring you to pay them for it, presumably because they deem the pleasure you give them as valuable as the one they give you, so noöne ends up owing anything to the other party.

true.

I think perhaps I was dumb to refuse sex in the past. as now I'm unlikely to ever get sex.