I just did the STUPIDEST THING !

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I just had a long conversation on the phone with a friend. She helped me a bit. I feel much better. We even ended up talking about Asperger syndrome, which is something she's usually not comfortable with.
Regarding "the guy" she thinks that he doesn't like me "that way" but that he has a lot of affection for me and that everything will be ok. I might go to her place tomorrow. If so, seeing as he lives very close, I may see him for a bit, talk to him in person... I don't know.

I live in the Var, south of France. In a little village that isn't very friendly. But there are nicer villages not far. And it IS beautiful around here

You write English like an English person.

Imagine if I could write French like a French person? I'd be in 7th Heaven!

I hope all goes well with your visit tomorrow.

Took me years to get to this level with my english. I've been working on it since I was 13.

Thanks a lot for your support. I really appreciate it. I forgot how nice everyone was here !

So a few hours ago, he texted me that he could see it anyway and that I shouldn't apologize or feel bad for not telling him before. I responded OK and that was that. BUT I just texted him again, couldn't help myself. Here's a rough translation of what I said :
" Can I ask you how you could see it ? Cause it would bother me if you thought that every time I seemed happy to see you or something, it was just for that. I guess I'm trying to tell you that even if we don't know each other that much, I have a lot of affection for you in a strictly friendly way and that I'm not ashamed to say. It's the way I am, I get attached quickly to certain people. Like with blabla and blabla [our mutual friends who are not REALLY called blabla ] for example. Also, I hope you won't avoid me if we run into each other in [village where he lives]. And that you will keep this to yourself. But if it bothers you, you can talk to blabla about it. She knows."
Still waiting for an answer from him. Is what I wrote okay ? Cause I just keep writing stuff and sending them without a second thought and then I regret it SO MUCH... my god, these things are hard to deal with.

How would YOU guys react if someone sent you this text ? I'd love to know.

He will be your boyfriend.

Or should I say...

Il deviendra ton petit ami.

En général, la probabilité de rejection devient beaucoup plus petit quand c'est la fille fait le premier pas, c'est ce que je vois personellement tout le temps dans la vie.

Donne lui un peu de temps pour en réfléchir.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 11 Aug 2015, 11:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

Lol, I wish. He's been very careful not to say he doesn't feel the same way, but it's pretty clear he doesn't. Besides, he's not the boyfriend type. He prefers to sleep around. Yep, guess I'm into bad boys after all. Just the nice ones though

Your french is pretty good by the way.

Merci je suis d'un pays francophone.

Alors, veux-tu qu'il couche avec toi? ou tu souhaiteras une relation à longue terme?
Ce dernier pourrait être difficile s'il est vraiment de ce type de mec.

Well, truth is I've never had a boyfriend so I have no idea how I would feel about a serious relationship... with anyone. But then I'm not gonna lose my virginity for a one night stand. No way. I guess ideally I'd want... to get to know him better and see where it goes. Without any pressure for things to turn out a certain way... But that's not gonna happen.

Also, I don't want anyone to think he's an as*hole who treats women badly. He's had serious girlfriends before. He's even been in love. Thing is, girls just throw themselves at him, frankly. Sex is supposed to be a lot of fun after all. I don't judge him for wanting to stay a "free man".

Kraftie,

You really are the nicest, coolest, most positive person on this site

So it's been almost three hours since I sent him that text. I got impatient and texted him AGAIN. I just can't control myself. It's almost funny. Anyways this time I said :
" Ah ! You're not answering me anymore. Did I finally go too far ? Or is your phone "about to die" Oh well, it's okay. I'll leave you alone, don't worry. Bon apetit, good night and sorry again."
I don't know... I was trying to reassure him but now I feel like I'm stalking him or something. Which is stupid I just sent him two texts but ... Oh, I hate this ! I keep going from being relieved that it's out in the open, and then I get panicked about it two minutes later. I was so stressed out this morning, I actually got physically sick !

I know it's hard--but I think, this time, you should be more patient. Just write him something less passionate next time. He might think you're being too intense.

Don't forget: no matter how much "experience" he's had, he's still a very young person. And he might be having difficulty responding in the "proper" way. He might be overwhelmed by your passion.

Again, I know how you feel--and I used to do the very same thing you're doing now.

Write something about the weather or something--or some shopping you did.

People do respond better if one doesn't talk about their "feelings" all the time.

I think, if he does decide to see you "that way," that you'll be a good person for him.

Please let me emphasize that this is very sweet and romantic.

When I was 17, I would have love to have had a woman like you smitten with me! Even later!

Oh damn it ! Passionate sweet and romantic ? I was trying to talk about the platonic part of my feelings for him. The friendship part. So he WOULDN'T feel overwhelmed. What did i do wrong ?

You did nothing wrong, nothing at all.

One could see ardor even in the most pedestrian words.

It's really the frequency in which you write--which conveys the passion.

Please don't be upset. I really doubt that you'll lose the friendship.