Aspergirls, do guys approach you?

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I just wanted to acknowledge that it isn't okay to rape or sort of rape. Not obtaining consent (or assuming consent) is not okay. Whether or not this was a case of rape, women do rape men and it often goes unreported because of the belief that men are always eager for sex.

I envy even the simple fact that you can confidently think that was a problem that had to be solved---and, surely enough, it was bound to be solved sooner rather than latter. Having always been sexually frustrated and lonely, and not used to being really in control of my life, I find it hard to justify thinking of my frustrations as a problem to be solved, rather than the way things are meant to be.

All the typical reasons to abstain from sex---STDs, unwanted pregnancies, whatever---come into play here and seem so strong as to imply noöne should ever have sex other than when strictly necessary for procreating. I envy people who do have regular sex and I don't think they're bad people, but they seem to live in a completely different world where those so compelling reasons against it don't apply.

It isn't ok even if he actually enjoyed it.

My first two boyfriends didn't want to have sex. The first person I had sex with was the person I married.

I am puzzled at your use of words like "bound to be" and "meant to be". We might not know the outcome of our actions or even have very good options but that does not mean that things necessarily have to be a certain way. Life is not always predictable but change--to a certain degree--is fairly constant. I met my husband by chance and I don't think our meeting was destined or even particularly likely. We lived in different places and happened to meet because I encountered his profile on a dating site.

As for negative side-effects of sex, contrary to what many sex-educators say, birth control when used properly is extremely effective (equivalent to temporary sterilization in some cases) and safe sex practices (as well as regular STI testing) are quite effective at keeping us healthy. Sex does not have to be scary.

I think he was using an hyperbole when he used the word "rape".

I didn't really resist--though I would have preferred it if we "took our time" a little bit.

That's why I put "rape" in quotes. It wasn't really rape.

Ok. This explains everything. LOL
I may not have the 7/10 ratio but I have high voice and healthy hair, smile constantly, don't wear any make up and always wear red clothes.

It happens, but it's very rare. The few times it has happened was when a couple of guys asked me out while I was doing laundry and then another time was when a guy asked for my number while I was putting gas in my car.

I don't yet know for sure if I'm an Aspergirl, but I've never been approached in that sense. A guy friend once suggested we 'go out', but that was it.

To those who do get approached, do you find it bothersome or flattering? Or both?

I bet this is totally correlated with the appearances.

It is the same why some guys get replied a lot on dating sites and why some get zeroes (even with good profiles and messages).

It is the looks.

When i used to work at a crappy shoe shop in the less posh end of town, guys used to initiate quite a lot, often in quite stalkly and overly confident ways. I remember one guy saying, after i told him i had a boyfriend, that he would wait, as it was destiny that we were to be together, he said it like he believed it too. Guys offered to cook for me, (lobster pasta, that's just weird), and guys from different ethnic background sometimes has quite different understandings of how much personal space you should allow a girl. A short time ago i have my tit grabbed by a man on bicycle as i walked down the street. I know that was assault. Some guys can be sweet, but presumably for the purposes of procreation, some guys have an inflated sense of entitlement when asking girls out, maybe this is an evolutionary protective shell so they can ask as many girls out as possible without worrying about what she says. I know there are plenty of guys, who would rather cut off a finger than expose themselves to rejection, so everyone is not the same. Girls on websites pretty much have to show up before their inbox's start getting full. It's not I'm told the same for guys. In general looks play a significant part, but i have also know pretty girls who in real life do not get hit on much, and that has to do with how they project themselves, consciously or more likely unconsciously.
Sorry i wrote way more than i meant to.

Exceptions and nuances notwithstanding, I think there's still a huge difference between the sexes. Most of the time, if a man doesn't get approached, it's because he isn't attractive enough for any woman to actively pursue him; most of the time, if a woman doesn't get approached, it's because she knows how to deter her unworthy would-be suitors before they decide to openly reveal themselves and make a horrible impression, not just on her, but on everyone present.

Humans of the same culture are not heterogeneous in what they find attractive and in what not.

If you are a girl and if you are approached by hordes of guys, that's because you are simply perceived as conventionally attractive-looking to the majority of men of your surrounding. As simple as that.

If you are a girl and if you are approached by NO ONE, then that means that you are not perceived as conventionally attractive-looking to the majority of men of your surrounding. As simple as that.


And before you come tell me that 'men are visual, women are not' , I tell you that the women are exactly the same in that: viewtopic.php?t=275336

Maybe a few guys in school/clubs, but not many. Until I learned that I was supposed to smile, or at least have a softened expression, very few guys approached me in clubs/pubs etc. The only alternative regular way to be approached by a guy here is if you know them already.

Ever since I moved to California, I've been constantly approached. I tried to ignore it to the best of my ability, but people are very open here about it. Men, women, doesn't matter. I'd rather it not happen, but even when I wear wedding rings it doesn't prevent it from occurring. :/ I'm just really bad at interacting a lot of the time, especially when it's with people who have an interest other than friendship. Super awkward.

Definitely bothersome because I tend not to understand it at first. I think it's just friendly and I end up flirting back without realizing it. Then I'm shocked when the guy does or says something which for me is "out of the blue" but for him is just a natural progression because I encouraged it. So I'm always too shocked to find it flattering right away. Afterwards though, I think "hey, someone was interested. That's nice."