Do NT girls have to iniate a date with Aspie Man?

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Do NT girls have to initiate a date with Aspie Man? This is my question. Do Aspie Men ever Initiate Dating? I am not a girl that wants to initiate. Clear interest is shown to me by an Aspie Man, but he will not initiate a date, he wants to talk on the phone/email. Is this normal? What is the best way to approach an Aspie man for a date? Are they too shy or awkward . . . . Clueless sums it up . . . but then, I am equally as clueless because I don't know what to do?

All help from Aspie Men appreciated . . .

Maybe he just wants to be friends.

Aspie men are significantly less likely to initiate than an NT, so it may be up to you. If you do, its probably best you do so by asking him out to somewhere very quiet, away from crowds and not too public.

Speaking from kind of from experience here...

Obviously not true for all Aspies, but some of us (definitely me) are so... clueless that our way of showing interest may not be on the same page as NTs. My crush thought I just wanted to be friends...

And I also can't read non-verbal communication well. Apparently, I went out with my friends, and they swear that a friend of a friend was trying to chat me up. It went all over my head. I only noticed how strangely talkative she was... Chances are that it may be the same case with him.

So maybe you have to ask if he is interested...

Results will depend on the individual, because (hypothetical) if my crushed did just that, I might freak out...

Speaking only for myself; confidence isn't only attractive in guys, and if you want him out, I think that's the approach with the highest likelihood of success.

Speaking from personal experience; initiating as an aspie guy takes a lot of courage, and knowing that your ability to interpret the "normal"* cues for a girl being interested is compromised, you prefer waiting for a more obvious cue to acting on insufficient data.


*("subtle" to most, "invisible unless pointed out" to many aspies)

Aspie men can initiate, but they need 'clear indications of interest' from the woman first.
The problem is that those indications for ASDs are different from those for an NT: your normal non-verbal indicators will not work; they will get misinterpreted of missed completely.

During online dating, interest is more obvious, but in the real world, knowing if someone is single and 'willing', let alone interested is all but inpossible for us.

initiating as the girl is the easiest way to get with an aspie man, but is you want him to ask, at least tell him so: clearly and directly

Aspie-Men are late-bloomers, when it comes to actually being ready for a relationship.
For the most-part although there are always exceptions to every rule or generalisation.

Additionally, for most Aspie-men, due to their inexperience with the ladies, you have to kind of teach them what they need to be doing to/with you in order to make progress with you.

You also need to keep doing more follow-ups until you've « trained » your man well until he's automatically doing the things to you that you want him to do without you needing to initiate with any kind of suggestive-comments.

You could also just blatantly ask him how would he feel if you two were in a relationship together or if it would be of interest to him. Believe it or not this might just be the easiest way to get into a relationship with an Aspie right away (many Aspies are not necessarily going to be interested in the ritual of dating to acknowledge a relationship). Seriously, you can just ask him if he'd be opposed to letting you call him your boyfriend, and if he's not against that idea, then let him know right there on the spot, that you have decided to take him for your boyfriend, starting right at that moment, and that it therefore makes you his girlfriend (easiest transition into boyfriend/girlfriend-relationship... like that's really all it takes sometimes).

Maybe he fears being rejected by you, more then he wants to roll the dice and ask you out. Fear can drive people to do a lot of irrational things, even to throw away a perfectly good opportunity because they let their subjective interpretation of a situation, dictate their objective reality. Maybe he's confident enough in how he feels about you, but isn't so confident in how *he thinks* you feel about him. Maybe he's waiting for permission, to know that this is somewhere he can progress your relationship to. Who knows.

But that's only talking about him. There's also you, and what you want. And if you want to be with him, go for it.