Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

WHAT WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT DO ASPIE MEN NEED TO HEAR?

Page 2 of 2 [ 20 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

Baffled
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 10 Aug 2015
Posts: 52

21 Aug 2015, 4:50 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
A lot of things would be encouraging, at least to me. I realize, however, that saying them might require the woman to be as daring as I'd have to be to approach her, or more.

If I were to hear something as simple as the lyrics of Saturday Night unambiguously addressed to me (and I'd be really mortified if I overenthusiastically replied, only to find out it was meant for someone behind me, for example), ... well, I don't know how I'd reäct, but the rational thing to do would be to rub my eyelids and pinch my nose, to see whether I can still breathe through it---which would mean I'm dreaming.


You're funny! In a good way! :D



JenniferO
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 25 Aug 2015
Age: 50
Posts: 1

25 Aug 2015, 11:34 am

It seems to me that an Aspie man would appreciate and most understand words that are honest, straightforward and backed up.

i.e. You are really smart. Your answers on jeopardy were right on and faster than the winning contestant.
Thank you for doing the dishes I feel you appreciate me and it means a lot.

But, I think the best way to encourage an Aspie man is to show them. My husband (who I am 99% sure has undiagnosed Asperger's) would much rather that I take our son out for a walk to give him some downtime or give him a massage or make him a nice meal than TALK TALK TALK with a bunch of words of encouragement that just make his brain hurt. The more "social"/encouraging words I use the more he has to think, try and interpret and then be obliged to do socially appropriate responses like look at me and come up with socially encouraging words for me.

That is what has worked best for me, but Aspie's are still individuals so it is not going to be identical for everyone.

Jennifer



Baffled
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 10 Aug 2015
Posts: 52

25 Aug 2015, 8:30 pm

JenniferO wrote:
It seems to me that an Aspie man would appreciate and most understand words that are honest, straightforward and backed up.

i.e. You are really smart. Your answers on jeopardy were right on and faster than the winning contestant.
Thank you for doing the dishes I feel you appreciate me and it means a lot.

But, I think the best way to encourage an Aspie man is to show them. My husband (who I am 99% sure has undiagnosed Asperger's) would much rather that I take our son out for a walk to give him some downtime or give him a massage or make him a nice meal than TALK TALK TALK with a bunch of words of encouragement that just make his brain hurt. The more "social"/encouraging words I use the more he has to think, try and interpret and then be obliged to do socially appropriate responses like look at me and come up with socially encouraging words for me.

That is what has worked best for me, but Aspie's are still individuals so it is not going to be identical for everyone.

Jennifer


Thank you Jennifer,

I am getting it and appreciate you insight!



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,712
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

26 Aug 2015, 2:13 am

I want to hear things she thinks are true.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition