The way times have changed

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Yes absolutely it is.

No. Real stalking doesn't result in a long and happy marriage like the older lady described in the video. This wasn't stalking, it was a persistent suitor winning the heart of an appropriately reluctant and skeptical female. She was a willing participant, she wasn't being harmed or coerced. They both understood where the boundaries were according to the mores of the time. It sounds really unromantic to put it this way, but essentially they were both following protocol.

How did you understand by this that he wants girls not able to say no??

He said "Girls will fall at your feet, and they will be pushed by their parents!".... it's AND, not OR! AND. But your misandrist brain will always want to make guys sound misogynists.

By "Girls will fall at your feet," it means the girls there will like a guy with those traits by their own will.

By "and they will be pushed by their parents!" it means the parents will encourage the girls to go for a such guy; nothing wrong in that if there's no enforcement.


Seriously...how did you compute this as "girls shouldn't be able to say no" ?



A million times barf at your level of comprehension.

That probably explains why an older woman who is 'old fashioned' in every way fell madly in love with me (and me with her)


We actually had a conversation last night where she confessed she still struggles accepting deep down that yes, I do care about her well being, yes I do want to get married and combine assets 100% and no, I have no hidden agendas. She told me that even though it isn't rational, it is hard to shake that mindset when everyone else acts the way described above. No wonder my mother's (older) church friends have always told me I am great husband material... they would know from experience!

When I was dating, most women ran for the hills when I told them my goal was marriage and a child or children to come home to and that family is very important to me even the one who had it in her profile. I thought for a long time something was wrong with me but I realize a lot of it just has to do with the 'hook up' culture in general.


Much like my mother, I can usually pick up with a few seconds what someone is like and it is at least 90% accurate. I had strong feelings on the first date for exactly three women: the first two were frighteningly like me even though it didn't work out and the third I asked to marry me after a few months. Still have yet to have a single fight with her too. There is something to be said for a deep down feeling.

Just how 'older' are we talking here?

Thanks boo, you explained what I meant perfectly. Bad people think bad things!

I was just trying to explain how mainstream mindsets vary by geography. In many parts of the world the same people viewed as having "severe" Autism Disorder behaviours, who struggles to socially integrate etc in UK/Northern Europe/USA. Will actually be the picture of success and normalcy elsewhere - And vice versa!

Many people who would struggle to "fit in" and fail to have social, academic & vocational success in many parts of Asia, Africa and the Middle East. Those same people may achieve celebrity status & riches over here.

While they’re minors, it’s up to their parents; even later if they still depend on them somehow. Not that all parents would even let them have boyfriends to cook means for them and to be introduced, anyway. They have every right to keep them locked up so no boy soils them.

She is 39 I am 32. To be fair she looks signifcantly younger than me.

I disagree that aspie males follow this mindset. While a subset do, I've met plenty who understand the rational response of the other woman. Cultural mores and norms change. Behavior outside of current norms are generally perceived as threatening or undesirable.

The older lady clearly appreciated the males advances. It is likely her reactions would suggest that. The younger one clearly did not appreciate the males' advances. Her reactions VERY clearly suggested that. While I understand that people may not be able to perceive these reactions, an NT male probably would.

Thus the young female, expecting an NT male, would feel threatened when her perceptible fear did not dissuade her suitor. The message is 'I don't care about your fear (I.E. you), I only care that I want you.' That is not respecting her or her emotions.

Also, whats with the hate on young people? Being different (or normal) is no cause to say someone is unworthy or not worthwhile. I'm young, I'm aspie, I'm married, and I don't think my NT friends are somehow less capable of love. The culture is still shifting and without a clear expectation set in place many people have difficultly navigating romantic encounters. 'Romance' is also subjective, as CLEARLY evidenced by the film.

My takeaway is to be culturally sensitive. Research is valuable.

a lot has changed about society, life, reality, what hasn't really changed and I doubt ever will, is that it being the man expected to make the first move, do the approaching and asking out, being the initiator, unfortuneately.

We don't get to see what actually happened. We just see and hear them telling their stories. The title of the video (same love story) and the method of comparing the two stories implies that they essentially experienced the same events. The difference is in how they tell their stories, and the ultimate outcome of each story.

The older woman appreciates her husband's persistence in retrospect, because they had a happy marriage. But if they had divorced, she might have told a different story. If they had never married, she might have forgotten about him. She is remembering something that happened more than 50 years ago, and she's talking to her grandchild, so she might be glossing things over a little. But she sounds totally sincere, and her story is consistent.

The younger woman's story is not consistent. She says that she told the guy "flat out" that she wasn't interested, but he didn't take the hint (which is it? flat out or a hint?). Then she still goes out with him anyway. When she mentions the roses he sent to her office, her main concern is what other people thought about it.

When she talks about him hitting the other guy, she sounds defensive (we were just dancing.) The biggest clue though is when she says he showed up at her apartment at 2 am without even sending a text first. That's an odd thing to say, and it implies that they actually had some sort of relationship.

[If I heard someone telling that story in real life, my guess would be that he caught her at 2 am with another guy, dumped her, and she's trying to deflect and spin the blame around by telling people he is a "psycho."]

She shows a lot of contempt and disdain for his actions, which is not consistent with feeling afraid for her physical safety. I can believe she felt threatened by something, but it's more about what other people think of her for being involved with this guy and finding his actions socially unacceptable.

The video is satire, so it's not intended to contrast two different-but-equally-valid subjective perspectives. Satire is intended to take an objective perspective, to criticize foolishness. The older couple is not the subject of that criticism. They used good judgment, tested each other's intentions, and had a happy outcome.

The younger man essentially took the same actions as the older man. He might be seen as foolish for wasting his efforts on someone who didn't appreciate him. But the criticism ultimately falls on the younger woman, because she looks so uptight and miserable in contrast to the older woman...and because it's strongly implied that she gave mixed signals and probably led the guy on.

I agree, this cultural norm probably won't ever change. It just follows basic physical anatomy.

yup, the penis-vagina argument, that's why there are times I hate being born male

well, that's another deterrent to not ask some one out...

A man always has the option of waiting for a woman to make the first move. Railing that it doesn't happen very often does not seem likely to change this.

The anecdote in the video is sweet, but it's also based on non-randomly selected interviewees. The old lady lived happily ever after wth her persistent suitor, so looks back fondly on his advances. Had the videographer chosen to interview an old lady who had a creepy guy stalk her for years, the take-home message would be totally different.

i'm perfectly aware that railing against it will not change it, and if a man waits for a woman to make the first move, he will be waiting a very long time, ya I hate people who say its easier for men because we don't have to wait, but obviously we don't control the outcome.