Romantic/Sexual Partners

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Interesting philosophy, InsomniaGirl! Oh, now I get your eyelashes comment. It makes more sense now!

Hehe good, I was just being silly. I would meet people in a similar way you do, or through a friend or someone at the shop I work at. Dating sites I think can be good, but probably take a lot of work or luck to find someone who would want more than sex, and who I am compatible with.

I met my ex-husband through friends, namely I had a roommate at the time who introduced me to her social circle, and he was one of them. We got to know each other as friends first.

Another relationship had been a classmate from high school I'd stayed friends with.

One guy I dated briefly worked at a musical instrument store and I was in there asking about recording equipment I think it was. Another guy I met while playing an open mic night regularly at one particular coffee bar, and we kept running into each other around town too. It's a cliche but it's true when people say meet someone around your hobbies, passions and interests, as you will have that in common with them, or have friends introduce you to someone they know. Even if you have few friends and just have family, someone in your family probably has a circle of friends with someone you might be able to date; ask them if they know anyone.

Bottom line -- meeting via someone you already know, and meeting via pursuit of a hobby or talent that brings you into contact with others doing that same activity. And hang out as friends first; friendship and just having simple times together is the best foundation to anything else that may follow.

Last edited by BirdInFlight on 14 Oct 2015, 1:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't make enough money to be considered for dating or being a man.

I still check dating sites and Craigslist , I just hardly ever reach out and if I do I'm ignored anyways.

I agree, InsomniaGirl. I think that dating sites can't be trusted. I have trust issues and a fear of betrayal, and I've never had a romantic relationship before so it would be best for me to find someone who could be my friend first. I'm also asexual, so that's an important factor.

I am a NT woman with an AS boyfriend, and we met through an indoor rock climbing group. We have a mutual friend who started the group. I think that helped, because we had a chance to get to know one another through an activity without the initial pressure of dating. Slowly, we started hanging out more frequently and I asked for his phone number to "send him a great article about the new star wars." We started texting frequently and I realized that I would probably have to make the first move to hang out one on one. I also picked up on some AS traits, and realized that being forward may be overwhelming for him, so we talked about it. He told me that he was very interested in me from the beginning, but he doubted I would be into him, and felt very shy about approaching me. This really helped, and continued communication about our differences has been so critical. For example, he felt the need to move slowly when it comes to sex, and was open about that early on so I wouldn't misinterpret his slow pace as rejection. Also, I have expressed to him the desire to hear from him more often throughout the day, and he said he could do that, and so far it's worked out well.

I'd say that having an activity and mutual friends definitely helped us get to know each other to the point where interest developed! I am also naturally quite direct and forward, and I think that helped, since my BF was reluctant to make the first move.

IMO, most dating sites are just nothing more than a waste of time. Most require a credit/debit card in order for members to do certain things on their sites, such as reading or sending personalized emails.

Does anyone here believe in soulmates [not just romantic ones]?

Eh, nonsense. I met my current wife while unemployed.

Money doesn't make anyone a man. And a woman too wrapped up in money is bad news anyway.

I met my wife on a dating site-Match.com

I had two previous girlfriends, one met through my brother, and the other was as a result of my first girlfriend leaving me for my second girlfriend's boyfriend. So we just sorta hooked up after that. Not the best foundation let me tell you.

It's just what most women say. I failed to meet a lot of the things required to be considered a man, i dont know what I am

You're damn cute. Just cute. Even though you're being silly when you commented I would really do that in front of a potential partner..As it's just funny and silly..and this will make him smile. If a man keeps batting his eyelashes, I'll just die..as well. He'll be so cute and adorable.

And my method of starting any potential relationship would be just being existing around him.
It sounds easy but difficult to do.

Batting eyelashes while male is a good way to invite someone to punch you in the face.

Honestly, in most of the cases of casual sex, I just message them online on some hookup app/site while having a beach shirtless pic, and when she just replies me with an added expression like " " then the final outcome is often positive.

The main problem is logistics though, as it's a conservative country I live in (despite its proclaimed liberal outlook) and so most single women live with parents, and those women who hang there happen to not be from the most liberal families LOL.

However, serious dating (with the intention of long relationship) is much more complicated; for now, online sites only worked for casual hookup for me.

What does imply?

I never said I was angry, or I considered it unfair. There's little point in judging the law of the jungle---on the contrary, every judgement of ours rests on it, whether we like to admit it or not.



Describing what batting eyelashes means to me is not targeting anybody. In fact, I appreciate being reminded we're not all equals by a long shot, because, as an aspie, I forget it much too easily.



Now, that seems an unusual view. Using a woman for sexual pleasure is a big no-no; in fact, I'm not sure there's any hypothetical way I could interact with a woman that wouldn't count as "using" her somehow, and this is one of the many reasons any kind of relationship with them looks so completely off-limits to me in real life.