Q for Men with mild ASD

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Looking at the aspies in the older generations of my family, the spouses have all themselves been at least towards the 'quirky' end of NT, generally were as educated [which is to say very] as them... They also seem to have personalities that are generally warm & mothery. My sample size is small, and given that my family is Jewish, there are very possibly cultural factors at play that are confounding these observations.

Maybe it's the farting thing that's getting between you and that one special girl. Sounds (and smells) like a real turn on to me.

So..I mean.. you think you were serious..., angela?

OP,

A woman who can take the lead, and that is direct. She also came to the conclusion that gender roles are not for her. She will not expect emotional support and use it as blackmail to manipulate her partner so that she can get what she wants.

She accepts him, who he is, and respects his wants and needs.

Honesty and communication are probably the best characteristics. If you're challenged when it comes to picking up on subtle cues, at woman who's not afraid to say what she's feeling and say what she wants is a godsend. She should respect your wants and needs and be able to negotiate when they conflict with hers (and so should you). For all the talk of women's lib and feminism, there are a lot of women who can't break free of 19th century gender roles. If she says anything like "the man should be the man," she's not for you. She's already imposed you're role on you. You don't get to decide and you probably won't meet her definitions.

As a person deeply interested in psychology, I know exactly what you are saying.

Yes we are all unintentionally affected by psychology whether we know it or not, whether we want to or not. I've tried self-teaching myself basic 'pop' psychology, but I could never possbly prevent myself from being affected by it - only being aware that I am and what the specific things affecting me for a specific situation is. For example, I am conciously aware of when I am mirroring (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirroring_(psychology)
) another person's behavior and might even choose to avoid it (or dio it on purpose to build rapport), but I can't alwyas control it.

Anyway, thing is I am referring specifically to those women (and men) who go out of their way to play things by the book and do things the 'right way' (read: pre-established society/cultural dating rules) instead of letting things that are natural, be natural. Minor examples: 3 date rule before going exclusive, don't call them because you don't want to annoy them even if you want to contact them, blah blah etc.

Whoever said you had to go on even one date before beginning a relationship with someone? If things were mutual, for example, a date to get to know the other person isn't always necessary in a sense - there are other ways to spend time with the other person.

Situational occurances are independent of dating/social rules, so why do some enjoy building a bridge and connecting the two unrelated ideas?

For many people, relationships probably work best when there are gender roles, but I have dated a few of those "old-fashioned/traditional" types, and it never worked out for me. To me, it shouldn't matter who does what, as long as you work together as a team.

None.

I like women who value freedom, yet have good moral values.

Deep, thoughtful, introverted, analytical..

Someone that chooses to walk against the grain instead of caring about the approval of others.

Social and moral understanding and responsibility, someone that cares about their actions.

ha ha ha. Gee, I wonder why????

Many Aspies would have problems becoming part of a big extended family with frequent noisy social gatherings--though such a support network certainly has its advantages when raising a family.

Extremely patient, ability to communicate her concerns and a sixth sense of sorts for others' concerns. Willing to take part in silly things we do and yet also very encoruaging and supportive in helping us out of our shell and helping us to interact with others. Very positive. Teacher/nurse/soemthing like that.

One lady i liked a lot in my mid-20s, we went for a few months, but I sort of ran out of stuff to talk about and didn't feel comfortable because her dad didn't believe in God like I do, and I couldn't verbalize that well and didn't know what to do. This was before I realized what my problem was.(Borderline Aslie) She planned to become a teacher.

In grade school, a girl who was a future teacher helped me come out of a shell when i was in 1st, 2nd grade and just walking back and forth at recess and talking to imaginary friends. And, she was willing to play along with that silliness. She'd be the ideal type for me, I know, but your mileage may vary. (She'd many sates away now, but I know we'll see each other again in Heaven, of that I'm thankful.)

Nerdy chicks

My dream girl is outgoing and adventurous, a little bit nerdy, brutally honest with me but can also admit her own faults, has a certain fondness for the ridiculous, and shares my dry, sometimes dark, occasionally downright f**ked-up sense of humor. I tend to get along best with women (well, people in general, really) who are roughly my intellectual equals, but don't feel the need to try to prove how smart they are.

I have no particularly strong preference regarding physical traits but tall, fit women are generally a plus. Oh yeah, and glasses. Glasses are hot.

Let me go back to "brutally honest with me but can also admit her own faults". I think this is really important. I think this shows the ultimate level of respect for the relationship, whether it's a friendship or more. Any woman who cares about you and has the courage to tell you exactly what she doesn't like about you and how to fix it, while expecting the same from you in return, is a keeper for sure.