My girlfriend addicted to videogames? Moved to her country

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Also, I think that you should be honest with yourself as you try to get things to a point where you're both satisfied. "Is the relationship really fulfilling me and meetings my own needs?" Don't settle for less just because you love her. If a relationship isn't satisfying your needs now, that's unlikely to change.

Honestly, I feel really bad for you. I've been in somewhat of a similar situation and I know plenty of other people who have ended relationships over video games. I play games a fair bit myself, but like you, I know when to stop now. Maybe I didn't when I was younger, but I've learned moderation and as I've gotten older I have more important real world responsibilities that need to be dealt with long before I can think about picking up a game. Not really a great feeling to feel less important or of a priority than a game. The fact that you've left the country for her just adds onto the situation. I know I'd feel absolutely awful in this situation

I seriously do not know why this girl ever wanted a boyfriend to move countries to live with her in the first place, if she already knew how devoted she is to something else that takes over her entire life, her thoughts, her time, her energy.

There is clearly no room in her life for you.

And she clearly has an addiction problem. But as long as SHE doesn't see it that way, there's no helping this situation and you probably DO need to just leave her to it. Unless you want to spend the rest of your near future going through the very strenuous paperwork and bureaucracy it takes to be in a new country -- and I know because i've done it TWICE -- for someone who is acting like a person who doesn't give a s**t about you, whether she thinks she does or not, and whether YOU think she does or not. She ain't ACTING like it.

My other reply seems to have been overlooked, but I also moved countries for love, so even though I'm not a gamer, I do know know very well what I'm talking about on that level at least, and I know what your situation must feel like because I WAS THERE ONCE TOO. And it's a lot to do for someone. Then that someone literally doesn't have time to actually have the damn relationship with you.

I also know a lot about when one is "flogging a dead horse" in a relationship. That's an old term meaning you keep trying in a situation that has no possibilities. I'm sorry but sometimes in life nothing can be done. People don't change and some people can't even always be helped in their issues. Sometimes you really do have to walk away.

Seriously, it's not going anywhere. I don't even care that you found a note she wrote saying she's glad you haven't broken up with her. Maybe you NEED to break up with her because she can't go on being allowed to think dragging you over there then having NOTHING to give you is okay and acceptable.

This is an open-and-closed case in my mind -- this is a disaster and you need to get out and move on. She has a problem she is clearly not ready to even think of as a problem. Life is short. Let here figure out her life. You need to move on and live yours. I was an ex pat too. Go home and leave this to the didn't-work-out bin.


You don't want to hear that. But you need to.

That's why I avoid the guilds-like MMO games, I stick to offline games only.

I have once tried Command & Conquer online and I could see why some get addicted to MMO games, your team in-games push you to go online at certain specific times to execute some teamwork plan - I didn't like it because of this, I felt like the game was dictating me when I play and for how long, and if the team players happen to be in a total different time zone than yours, you might have to go after midnight...f*** that lol.

As for offline games, I am in total control over them, I choose when and for how long to play, there's no sense of "commitment" with offline games; and I can go on with my outdoor activities for days without worrying that my planet or my farm in some game is being under attack or in fire or something like that.

The only MMO I might play are games that don't require continuous management, where I play like one or two matches and that's it, (ie. Hearthstone) I quit and continue with other things in life .

Sadly, many games are no longer story driven and many developers are tacking on multiplayer just to conform.

Edit: Smartphone spell corrector.

Sadly, she needs to realise that relationships require compromise and responsibility from both parties. It seems like she may have not matured to such a level so a serious talk might be a good idea.

Sometimes we have to make sacrifices and she needs to realize that. If it doesn't work out, don't beat yourself up about it. Maybe you are just at different levels of maturity in regards to what a committed relationship truly involves.

Maybe it's not a gaming addiction. Since she wrote that she was uncomfortable with living with you, it reminded me of myself. I moved to France to be with my girlfriend. I was used to living alone, needed to live alone badly, and I didn't cope well with living with someone else and being on her timeline. I spent way too much time online and became very protective of my time online and resentful of her need for attention because of the stress of having to socialize on someone else's schedule.