Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

Post Reply New Topic

First of all, men on average are physically stronger than women and the strongest men are much, much stronger than the strongest women. That compounded with the fact that men are more violent than women makes women feel vulnerable and threatened. And a big part of this comes from the fact that men rape women(as well as other men but not as often). So they fear for their safety and they're angry because of feeling powerless.


When women get pregnant and have children, they become dependent on other people whereas a man can father children and retain his independence....He doesn't even *have* to stick around! He can just run off while the woman is stuck with this baby whom she has hardwired emotional attachment to so that also contributes to feelings of insecurity.


People are biological beings and this cannot be changed.

I was more or less referring to my generation, who are being influenced by mass media and ridiculously high beauty standards. Most of my experience with girls is online, so I guess that's why I'm jumping to these conclusions. You do have a point though, and I guess mine is more marginal, and doesn't stand up in a lot of cases.

I guess it's easy for your mind to distort the facts when you're trying so hard not to see yourself as a piece of crap

"Squeaky wheel of a person". You really think you have enough information about me and my situation to throw around terms like that? Believe me, you don't.

For somebody on such a self-righteous quest, you did an excellent job contradicting yourself within the limited characters you used. First, you say that it's not due to life being unfair that "undesirables" can't find dates, and you pretty much close by saying life's unfair, and that justifies it all. If you're going to call other people "squeaky wheels", maybe try keeping your story consistent?

And then you go into how some guys feel entitled. So, because I'm not getting something I want that everybody else is getting, wanting it is entitlement? Like, are you stupid? If I said to you, I should get a girlfriend by sitting on my ass and not lifting a finger, sure, that's entitlement. I know the problem lies with me. What I don't know is whether I can fix it or not.

I have ideas in place to make myself more attractive. I wouldn't be making any effort in bettering myself if I was entitled. Admittedly, my motivation is lacking a bit because I'm unsure if I can ever be good enough. Now if you ask me, that's not entitlement.

*Citation needed for stats on the gay population gender percentages + the percentage of men vs women who get married*

In the US, there female population is slightly larger than the male population. And FYI, there are some societies where 90% of women are sleeping with 10% of men and there's a large underclass of men who have NO chance of getting a woman: Like Saudi Arabia and other conservative muslim countries.

However, in case you haven't been paying attention divorce rates in the US have been on the rise which makes you wonder what the motive for getting married in the first place was. It could very well be economic. And the meteoric rise of hookup culture and non-monogamy among us millennials is going to make things even harder for most guys despite the fact that many foolish straight guys think it will make it easier to get laid for everyone.

@Unfortunate_aspie: Wanting something you cannot have or don't have yet does not equate to entitlement. Your rant translates to "know your place and stay in it, peasant!". Not gonna happen...or at least not with me. I don't claim I deserve a woman, I want one in my life and so I will do what is necessary to get it sans breaking the law or doing something that is harmful to someone else. I am aware that there's a dating caste system, but I will not recognize it.

I would prefer they do ask me out , but then again I'm not very masculine so they don't want to ask me out. I don't drive a truck or get into random fights with other men.

probably because women don't have to approach and make the first move

Ok, my bad. It's just that this girl rejected me rudely. She acted like she was doing me a favour even talking to her. Like I was being a creep just by asking her out.

The next day I found another girl to chat with. She said she might go to the trendy burger joint with me but she wants to get to know me first which is fair enough.

Ok so this one girl was a jerk to me (and yes she was single). I will try to remember that the majority of girls are not jerks. Honestly I actually that guys do the choosing, I think that works to my advantage.Very true. That makes things hard in a way. When you encounter a girl in the field, it's hard to know if she's even single. Nowadays people get married much later than before but that doesn't mean they're single.

Nowadays people may court for 5 years before marriage or may have several different semi-long term relationships before marriage or may have a life-long relationship without marriage.

My Grandparents were married months after they met, both in their early 20s. Even though the age to start dating is younger, the age of marriage is older. It used to be that you could safety assume most single girls were under 25.

As for most people having relationships, I assume the vast majority of them started in the usual way, with dating. That's why I don't like the idea that I'm a creep for asking a girl out. Because every guy asks girls out, it's normal, not creepy.

She acted like I was being entitled. I asked, not demanded. I think consent is very important but if we outlaw asking there can be no consent.Right. I don't have the right to dating at any point in my life. I could accept that more easily if people didn't tell me I'm a freak for not dating. If people didn't act like I have have to date.

It just seems like cognitive dissonance to act like dating is some rare privilege and yet say 99% of people do it. I guess it's the same sort of catch-22 as saying college is a necessity when it's priced as a luxury.

Am I entitled for just trying to live up to society's expectations? A fool maybe but not entitled. So why do girls think dating is a privilege and guys don't? Why are guys less choosy with who they date? After all, girls are 50% of the population and in some ways they have more incentive to find a partner than guys do, owing to the maternal instinct.

Stop trying to reason with Unfortunate_Aspie or *anyone* for that matter who has her attitude! You live a society where adults are free to date whomever they wish so long as there is mutual consent. Contrary to what folks like her would lead you to believe, you DON'T need society's permission or approval. This concept of entitlement is meant to be a self-righteous, moralistic guilt tripping tactic to keep people in their place. Refuse to apologize for wanting the things you do and for doing what is necessary to get them.

Even though dating leagues are a social reality, there is no way that you can be legally punished for violating them. However, if you're going to date people do so because that is what you want instead of worrying about living up to society's expectations.

Yeah, you're right. No one is entitled to me I'm entitled. No one has the right to preserve their feelings by stepping on everyone else's. That kind of thinking only leads to anti-bullying bullying. Like in the colleges where everyone is really uncomfortable they make get expelled for saying something that makes someone feel unfortable. Trying to create a stress free environment makes everyone ten times more stressed than they were before so we should stop it.

By the way, what's a dating league?

This more a set of reasons than a single reason. When it comes to social attitudes, conventions and privileges there tends to be little an individual, especially a low status person, can do. Except possibly to find a subculture where the rules are different.

The way I suspect things actually tend to work is that woman tend to communicate who they find attractive through hints and non-verbal. Which is of little help to aspie men. Also especially difficult to a man who asks out a woman who has 'told' him she's not interested in him. (Especially if he receives an agressive response.)


Note that men are also under social/peer pressure to believe this. (Even if left to their own devices they'd come to differing points of view.) ND people also seem somewhat 'resistant' to social and peer pressures in comparison to NTs.

This assumption tends to be projected onto ALL men. Including those who identify as 'submissive', 'feminist', 'bisexual', etc.
Many women, possibly the majority, strongly believe this to be the case.


If he says he'd do the former and you believe he'd do the latter then you're part of the problem
More likely a man who is happy to be (or prefers to be) 'asked out' will not even be asked his opinion on the matter.
He certainly can't say 'yes' if he's never asked out. (Even his saying 'no' dosn't indicate that he sees it as wrong to be asked out.)

What would a man have to do in order to indicate he would like to be asked out? Either by you or women in general...

Wait, do we still have a classist society? Like an Charles Dickens novel? Is our class system based on merit or inherited?Oh crap! You mean when I ask a girl out, she's already told me nonverbally she dislikes me, and when I actually ask her and she gets mad, it's because she thinks I already understood her nonverbal message and she thinks I'm deliberately ignoring it when really I never noticed it in the first place? I'm so screwed

Entitlement does exist where it relates to relationships, but people often get confused about how it manifests itself. More me to say that a girl should drop her standards for me just because I want her to is an attitude of entitlement. On the other hand, for me to want to be good enough for a girl, but not being sure how to go about it is not entitlement at all. The clear distinction being that I'm not demanding that girls like me for existing. I don't know what I can do to get girls to like me, but I'd be willing to make an effort.

Those are two very different scenarios. Some people are so blinded by their self-righteous quest that they neglect to take the time to understand peoples' intentions and situations.

Boils down to sperm is cheap; ovaries are expensive, it's that simple.

It's also why women don't find just any guy attractive, guy can be perfectly average and he still might not do anything for a girl, whereas any woman who is average is pretty much fair game for pretty much the majority of males, meaning our biology is well aware of the fact that ovaries are expensive, and so the womans biology conditions itself to find the most dominant males attractive in order offload the burden of gestation.

True enough but it bugs me when I ask for a date and then I get told not to be "entitled" as though I was demanding one. It's like some people can't tell the difference. Maybe these people who feel entitled to tell me I'm entitled are so used to demanding stuff all the time that they assume everyone else is demanding stuff as well. Since they've never asked for anything in their life, they probably don't even understand the concept of asking so they think I'm demanding when I'm asking. I mean what, do they want to make it a crime to ask a girl out now?
Oh. That actually answers my question.

Things also become more complex when you also consider age and age preferences.

In terms of geography global, even national, ratios can mean little anyway.

Whilst producing children is a factor here it certainly isn't the only factor. Even for those who are exclusively heterosexual.
It dosn't explain things like contraception or why people who are infertile want to be in relationships. (There's also the whole concept of 'marriage'. Which is primarily about property ownership. Once you look at what the laws underpinning it.)