Autistic dating, who was in the wrong?

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Plainly you're able to interpret this with a level head and have plenty of overarching concern for all your friends so yeah I'd say a four year age gap dating at that age is pretty crazy. As a rule, as long as there's any willingness on any aspie's part to please others they'll usually be willing to hear you out; I don't see why he'd necessarily be any different. Jobs don't absolutely change anybody's identity, they usually just mess with that. I can't exactly understand anxiety over older women since I get along just fine with them but I don't think you'd have to rope anybody else into the situation to get that phobia resolved.

While I get the sense you're seeking validation for your & your friend's apprehension, I will say that in the present situation I wouldn't say anybody's in the wrong so much as in the now - best to be upfront & reconciled with each other. For what it's worth, I think picking the brain of anybody that strange stands to teach everybody a lot about their respective human nature.

I can't represent any of you three but platonic = great as far as I'm concerned. With the kind of work I'm into, not to mention my batshit insane past, trusting anybody takes quite a lot of deliberation and marijuana. If I don't trust someone to that degree, chances are I never really met them according to my standards in square one.

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wow, that's really interesting...

While reading everything about it, I was having all kinds of red flags flipping up. So...

My advice to her? Run I see zero sense in her trying to form a relationship with this guy. Even if she succeeded in this, he is going to hurt her again.

The guy has some issues he ought to work out. I would certainly be in agreement that he should seek counseling.

This thread was started in December 2015 & we haven't heard back from the OP about how things between their friend & the autistic guy went so I would just let this thread die.