Dating in your 30s

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I never drink when I'm out somewhere. Don't be pressured into that crap. Nobody likes a sloppy drunk. I'll usually get a coke or ginger ale. Nobody has to know it doesn't have Jack Daniels in it. If they ask, you can say you're on a detox cleanse. Anybody worth knowing should respect your choice not to drink anyway.

Grumble, grumble, grumble.

If you think dating is hard in your 30s, try it in your 40s - or your 50s.

There is somebody for everyone, you just have to keep trying. Haven't I been made a fool of a few times? Yes I have. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again.

And after a while, I met a really nice man and we got married and have been very happy.

That's the worst part of it. Knowing that there is much worse yet to come.

I wish I didn't have to think about relationships. Most of the time I am ok with being single, but it is a hole in you that never gets filled or goes away. This is the curse of aspergers. No matter what you achieve in life, or how much you work on yourself, relationships will always be difficult to obtain and even harder to keep.

Yup another aspie guy in his early 30s with no real dating history. Starting to give it ago again though as I've had a bit of time off so worked a bit more on how I speak (used to be a very, very bad mumbler) and body language and conversation flow so seeing if it works. Although I'll admit it's a bit more from pressure from friends and as said here already people seem to struggle with the idea that you can be happy single.

For meeting people at my age it seems the best way is through friends of friends, but that obviously can still be tough if like me you prefer to keep a small social group and I know from reading on here, some people even struggle with a small group of friends.

My first date though has actually ended up in a difficult situation I didn't expect where I meet some one who seems to really like me, but I don't feel we connect. Going to give it another try, but feel like I've got to end this and I don't now how (only dated one person before so all very new territory!)

I'm 45 & never dated, I did have one boyfriend. I would like to have boyfriend, but I don't know how to meet men.

These days, it's really not that hard to meet men, because there's lots of online dating sites.

Would you like an artist like yourself as a boyfriend? You're really a pretty good artist.

kraftiekortie, I love the light-hearted support you give to so many of our members. Thank you for being a WrongPlanet forums addict!

(Hey, I call a spade a spade!)

And thank you for your Addiction to this Site as well...and for giving excellent advice.

I been to online dating sites, I been on ALOT, I don't think dating sites are for me. And I don't care if he an artist. Maybe I should date another Asperger person who will understand me. At least, I look young for my age.

That makes sense.

Hey Kitty4670? I've never tried online dating before, but I thought I might try it out. So I'm curious, what has been your issues with it?

I'll be 37 next week and I've never dated anyone. I'm not actively trying to date, however. No potential dates at work and beyond that, I don't really do anything. I've been trying to find that mythical place known only as "Out There", but it still seems mythica to me.

ALOT of men wanted to see very sexy pics of me after seeing my pictures (back then my pictures were from the waist up) I only post my face now & I'm not very good at writing profiles. Men also write their phone numbers in their first email to me. I also talked to really good guys too.

The online dating has worked quite well for me. It gets communication open so I'm not a blithering idiot when we actually meet.

In my online dating experience that spanned over two decades, I never asked a woman for sexy pics. Yes, I was doing online dating 20 years ago.

I always started with a "boiler plate" opening message which I would add a few personal details specific to who I was writing to.

Lots of failures. Many first dates, a fair number of second dates and a dozen or so ongoing relationships including some FWBs that continued until either one of us found a serious relationship or we got bored with each other. Sex on the first date happened fairly often.

There were some instances of "false advertising", i.e.: she posted pics that were really old and looked nothing like the pics she posted. One woman sent me a picture that was taken when she was 32, but she was 47 at the time we were communicating.

I've never really had success with online dating. Usually the only people that look at/message me are those faker phillipinos looking to get into the US. I just feel very mismatched all the time. The weird thing is the place I was raised in is very similar to where I live now in terms of the type of people living there. I don't really have a good way of moving either so I'm kind of stuck. I often wonder if there's even a point to me trying anymore.

Dating just gets harder and harder the older you get, and the unfortunate thing is even the start is extremely difficult.

As teenagers when we first develop our feelings, everyone is too immature, too stupid, and too hormone-crazed to form deep, meaningful connections with another person.

And remember, that's just the beginning.

The awkward, complex stage of adolescence is supposed to be the 'easy part' and your teenage years are supposed to be easy as high school is an absolute breeze compared to university, and university is easier than a job/career.

Once you leave teenage years and enter young adulthood, you now have better social skills, more mature, more developed, etc. but at the same time have more responsibilities, less free-time, and no 'forced exposure' to other people like high school did - fate is in your own hands, but this makes things harder as there is less place to meet people, etc.

Your 30s, everyone is paired up or starting to be, single people are far more rare and even those who are single may not be your type.

Your 40s is the same as your 30s, but twice as bad.

And your 50s are the same as your 40s, but again, twice as bad.

love and dating is one big pathetic clusterf*ck.

There is a popular quote 'it gets better', mostly used for bullied LGBT teens but also used more freely for almost all groups of people.

It is a lie - nothing gets easier, only harder.

Retirement isn't even easier than working, as your health issues at old age compensate for the lack of work that makes a negative effect on your life.