Clubbing with aspergers while female

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A woman going clubbing by herself is going to get hit on by a lot of guys as people will assume she's there because she's on the market. A guy going to a club by himself is seen as creepy because people think he's desperate for sex and has no friends....I did this years ago and it turned out VERY badly( I was single then mind you) and I will never do it again!

Bars and clubs are places where guys, particularly single guys, should never go alone. Always have a wingman!

That's probably because you're female. And it might be that the d00ds you see there by themselves are regulars waiting for their friends to show up.

@Hopper: I do think she very well might get harassed with unwanted innuendos and advances from guys. Particularly those wanting to buy her a drink(which carries the risk of him slipping roofies in it). But a guy by himself will have women complain to the bouncers about him and might even have other guys try to start fights with him to impress the ladies by roughing up this creep! Or worse he might get 86d because some chick claimed he was stalking her(happened to a friend of mine).

Well, I think we've got a fair idea that going to a nightclub on your own isn't going to be that good an idea for either gender, particularly when autistic. Which is a shame for those looking to cut some rug and throw some shapes.

I don't see in all this how males have it worse than females, though. That's what I was querying.

If anything that's more to evidence that there are pretty congruent drawbacks for anyone going out alone. If you go to a party thinking something bad might happen that's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Of course I want to keep my friends safe but the main reason I've never been to nightclubs without them is because that would be boring. If any guy wants to start a fight he does NOT want to encounter anyone like me - I blend in but that's an act. I'll take some knocks but threatening my friends turns me vicious fast. It takes less than you might think to spot & dismantle a psychopath before they do anything. I've had to before & I'm sure I'll need to again. Violent people aren't trying to get killed but they know they might. Being skinny is a hell of a bluff. I'm not remotely interested in brawls, which in itself pretty much guarantees success in them if my hand is forced. Thankfully that's never ruined my night though. Know your strengths & stay safe.

while the cro magnons sat at home and sharpened their spears, the neanderthals went out clubbing.

There is one---and possibly only one---exception to this: cruise ships. I've gone on a cruise alone twice, so I came to the ship's club by myself, at least the first night. I found that I was treated perfectly fine. Men were respectful to me, and women smiled and danced with me, although some still said no. One or two even went as far as grabbing me by the hand and pulling me onto the dance floor (just to dance, nothing further). But this is strictly limited to cruise ships. I wonder what causes people to stop following this ironclad social rule the minute they set foot onboard.

By contrast, when I came to the club alone at a resort hotel, four guys followed me out, to beat me up. Luckily, an armed security guard pulled me aside, hid me in the employee-only area for a little bit, and escorted me to my room.

Care to share what happened when it "turned out VERY badly"?

Regardless of any innate differences(or differences in cultural preening), you're hopelessly naive if you don't realize that society treats men and women differently and double standards based on gender DO exist whether you like it or not. I realize that some feminists are actively trying to eradicate these double standards but I'm highly skeptical that this can realistically be achieved.

In any case, for now these double standards are still in place and aren't vanishing anytime soon. I know of women who goto clubs and bars alone from time to time and manage to enjoy themselves without getting into trouble. If a guy starts hitting on a girl at a club who's by herself and she feels uncomfortable then she can always go to a bouncer who often will be MORE than happy to escort him out of there. It's rather tiresome for you to pretend that men and women are treated the same way...especially in a place where people go to hook up and gender differences are emphasized.

That sounds unpleasant, but perhaps its more a thing in more fancy places.........I have never been to a resort hotel. I have gone to concert venues and various bars/microbreweries there are a couple cool metal music themed places where I live. But yeah in the smallish bars and concert venues I have not noticed people finding it weird if there is a guy who came by himself let alone people wanting to beat them up.

I absolutely agree that society treats men and women differently. I am not pretending or asserting otherwise.

I queried the OP as to how women have it better than men when it comes to nightclubs. He didn't really address the matter. A few other people have, but I disagreed with their assertions, and it somehow became a thing about going such places on your own and who has that easier (though that point wasn't in the original comment I queried).

Not in any of this have I said that women and men are treated the same in nightclubs or in society at large. Nor, and I'm guessing by some of the responses I've had that there's a suspicion I am implying this, have I said that men have it just fine.

My sole nightclub experience is detailed earlier on in the thread. I don't know many people, and they are all women. And while I have heard horror stories from them about their experiences, I have no pool of men from which I can draw - or perhaps fail to - similar horror stories. Though frightening and unfair and indicative of all sorts of problems, there's been nothing in this thread to match the ones I've heard.

Hence the skepticism in my original query.

Fair enough.

The reason I would say that women have it better at nightclubs and bars is the fact that with the exception of gay bars & clubs(that are oriented towards gay men), women are the preferred patrons. Why? It's good for business. Women goto clubs to primarily to dance; but also to flirt with guys and sometimes to meet men. Men goto clubs mainly to dance with their partners if they have one but also to hook up with women(and date them). Clubs that aren't gay oriented which have a gender imbalance in favor of women tend to generate more revenue and be more popular. When there are as many men as women in a club, quite often the bouncers will not let any more guys in until some of the guys leave because more men then women tends to make women feel uneasy and if women stop going, men will stop going and the club will be forced to shut down.

Some us us just go for the music. If you can't understand that I think we've determined the real Neanderthal ideology in play here.

When I was in my 20's, I used to sometimes go into bars just to play pool. If a pretty woman happen to be there, that wasn't bad, either (I've only started talking to women in bars a couple of times).

My primary motivation was to escape a little bit, enjoy the music, play a little pool. If I didn't speak to any ladies that night, I really didn't care. I was pretty shy, anyway. Like I said, I rarely went up to women to "talk them up."

This is probably why it's OK for a guy to come by himself to clubs on a cruise. Because on cruise ships, both the clubs and the rest of the ship, including other revenue-generating bars, are owned by the same company. So cruise lines don't have a need to deter undesirable men from coming to their clubs. Even if women "stop going" to the club, they'll just spend money on drinks elsewhere on the ship. No revenue will be lost. So women pick up on the fact that they're on par with men, as far as being a customer is concerned. So they treat even undesirable men in a more-or-less friendly manner, barring actual (rather than perceived) harassment.

My mom went to clubs in her late teens & early 20s to play pool.

Playing pool used to relax me. I didn't have to talk to anybody. Only about what relates to the pool game. I wasn't any good at pool--but I still liked it, anyway.

My city has a really good pool hall/bar & being from NY my dad actually bought himself a table. Nothing fancy but it is full size. It replaced couches when they fell victim to my last cat. I love that bar more than any others save for our espresso-serving ones even if I don't go more than once a year. Never understood the dating ideology of all this, I'm just chronically bluesy.

The psychology of cruise ships is interesting considering the absurd proportion of how much more I know about the ships themselves. I've had to weasel past bouncers before for sure though they at least didn't seem to be manipulating the people at the shows by gender ratios.