How could anyone handle me?

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Before a huge fight starts over who it's more hard for (Aspie men or women), I'd just like to point out that I believe it's hard for both sexes in different ways.

*sits on his fence comfortably*

I stay at home in the quietness of my room doing things I enjoy more than idle chit chat, IE Video games. I don't like being hugged, High pitched noises irritate me, well.... that rules everyone in my town out of the question.

Unless I grow out of this, I doubt I'll have a girlfriend anytime soon lol.

I wish there was a single Aspie female who liked the Simpsons and South Park as much as I do--preferably close to where I live.

Tim

I'm in my first ever relationship. And by relationship, I don't mean two hours. That's what I used to get. I got treated like a toy.

But I've got the unconditional love of Mr. Perfect, and he's go my unconditional love!! !! !! !!

I know it sounds like I'm rubbing it in, but I really want to help all you guys. This is one of two places where I fit in extremly well, and it sucks to see everyone else down in the dumps.

I do, but i think i have found somebody.
I find so funny talking to my ex, he's a real good frien she makes me realising when I'm doing something wrong and brings out a more caring side to me.
She is someone i can realte to because I think she ADHD, but she's a hella lot less eccentric than me, but still implusive.
She stills goes to high school (she's 16 and I'm just 18) and she always tells me about this wild times of throwing dictionary's at peoples heads- she has a mean temper (mind you mine is much more destructive)...
She often says stuff like 'SAM I really don't understand how you can come across intelligent and understanding in some things but you have your moments whwn you say something so selfish- almost spiteful yet you don't understand why it's wrong to say it! ARGHH YOU'RE UNBEARABLE."
Usually this upsets me, but it allows me to actually learn, so when talking to somebody I don't suddenly say 'I hatet that skirt you're wearing, please don't wear it." or whatever.
Whenever I go off on a tangent about some facts I learnt about a group she begins to 'SHH, I'll hang up if you keep Talking, you know I don't care who the session musicians where on that album nobody has heard about.' or if I'm getting anxiuous or dwelling on something to much she'll say something like 'ARGH! This is what you do all the time, you do something, then you begin to worry and then after that you begin to develop a fricken' complex about saliva, you're mad!'
So i think I've found somebody who can bear me and who can see the bad things without being like 'Oh you're so weird F-OFF.'

I am sorry too. Because I agree with fatalyflawed. It is nearly impossible for an AS man. Take me, last week I was talking to a normal woman, who in the first five minutes said she was lonely, and woke up horny on Easter Monday, and a few other things, I rang my ex wife who totally understands me and the AS thing, and she called me an idiot for missing every come on sign going. Now I dont know what to think. But we have to keep trying. As someone who doesnt understand limits, then there can be no limit to the amount of try´s we get

I personally think that 'normal' women are a much harder species to predict than AS women!

Can't tell you the amount of conversations I've heard about 'should I call him or not'...all I am thinking is, figure it out for yourself.

At least if an AS girl wants time out, you usually know it's nothing personal. The NT girls usually want time out to debrief with their friends...it's tedious.

Personally, I think this 'It's harder for us AS men' is a total load of crap. How the hell would you know? Are you an AS woman too and in a position to know? This 'I am more hard done by than you' stuff really irks me. I have had 2 relationships in my almost 32 years, and daren't even approach any man I happen to come to like. AS brings the same issues, as far as I am concerned, to both genders, so quit this 'I have it so much worse than you' rubbish. Show me your evidence before making such a major statement...where are your statistics, I want to see proof.

Exactly.
How would you know?

Last edited by Kosmonaut on 17 Apr 2007, 12:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No, we both (men and women with AS) have difficulties, but they are different issues.




I agree, it is pointless arguing who has it worse.
Have you checked out statistics on suicide amongst young men?
Whether you find it irksome or not, i would expect a moderator on a site for people with AS and related behaviour to be aware that it is an issue.
Given this, i would think it counter-productive to belittle people's opinions as crap.

well what i want to know is how do you ask some one out? text? to their face? ps im in 11th grade

I feel that the only advantage of being female in this case is that men are traditionally responsible for making the first move. After that the playing field is even.

I have never asked a girl out on a date or otherwise initiated contact, but for some unknown reason I have been asked out by women a dozen or more times. A few times this has lasted only through the first date or day. Usually it ends in the first week or two after we both realize that communication is just not happening between us. The few times it has lasted longer (never more than 3-4 months) it has always been me breaking off the relationship due to finding (often non-existant) faults with the person, my own insecurities and fears about impending physical relations, or my feeling that I can't keep up the acting which I feel has sustained the relationship up to this point.

My point : Does this approximate the female Aspie dating experience?

and to clarify, I am male, and my dating experience has been exclusively with NTs

i often feel i am lost in the rye fields... so wrapped up in looking out for my chance to find someone else... that i have forgotten my berrings and have become hopelessly in need for someone to come and find me.

right now i am writing a song about this... I will post it as soon as its done

Where do the ducks go in the winter?

Yep, to the Aspie men out there (I'm one too), one thing I'm learning is that given our impaired ability to see things from other peoples point of view, we should never assume we have a harder time of it just because it seems so huge to us.

We see our own problems but don't see theirs.

Aspie women probably have a whole plethora of dating problems that we just miss totally.

I have no idea what they are, but like I said I've learnt that assuming nothing is the best bet considering how hard it is for me to pick such things up.

I'd rather look at it like I have no idea than assume the wrong thing.