Thank you for your honesty! I wont pry as it is a very personal matter, but can maybe understand a bit more to why your friend seems a little conflicted. Many on the spectrum are very just and moral individuals, and only as a guess, he maybe feeling somewhat confused, anxious and reflecting on the moralities of the current situation. I also feel this is something you may need to get a little more professional help with yourself... Having an ill spouse can be quite traumatic and even though you may feel level headed there is the possibility there is a lot more subconscious things going on... I also know as your a nurse how hard it is to maybe seek that help, as my mother was also a nurse and when she was ever ill was the hardest to convince to get any medical treatment..As i have found with many in that field... I cant tell you what you should or should not do, but seems there is a lot of emotion going on in many different areas at the moment and getting a little more professional advice from a third party may be a better option at this moment in time and its making sure your not trying to fill a gap so to speak, i know your intentions seem genuine for your friend, but still feel a professional third party might be a better option at this moment in time