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Anngables
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02 Mar 2016, 1:36 pm

Very perceptive, but my husband is very ill . . . .hence complicated . . . .and believe me your view point is worth more than 5 cents. I hope you have been able to move forward from the hurt you experienced growing up



Barneydude
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02 Mar 2016, 2:55 pm

Annge you have a pm... i wish you all the best



Anngables
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02 Mar 2016, 3:07 pm

I can't see a message? :!:



Anngables
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03 Mar 2016, 1:25 pm

Thought I should explain myself a bit more. I can see that many of you worry about fellow aspies getting preyed upon by various personality disorder groups and I can understand your concerns. Rest assured I believe myself to be well balanced person, with a professional job, many friends (male and female) and a great family. I did not know my friend was an aspie when we first struck up a friendship. We were introduced by a mutual friend, and found we had many things in common and mutual interests.
I never expected to feel more than friendship, however over time the feelings have grown and I would be lying if I did not admit to having strong feelings, but this was never my intention. My main aim in all of this is to ensure that no one gets hurt. I have always been completely honest, and rest assured I always insist on paying for myself, and any gifts etc are more than reciprocated by myself. However the idea of him not being in my life any more makes me cry. I believe he is pleased to have me as a friend also.



Uncle
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04 Mar 2016, 3:53 am

Thank you for your honesty! I wont pry as it is a very personal matter, but can maybe understand a bit more to why your friend seems a little conflicted. Many on the spectrum are very just and moral individuals, and only as a guess, he maybe feeling somewhat confused, anxious and reflecting on the moralities of the current situation. I also feel this is something you may need to get a little more professional help with yourself... Having an ill spouse can be quite traumatic and even though you may feel level headed there is the possibility there is a lot more subconscious things going on... I also know as your a nurse how hard it is to maybe seek that help, as my mother was also a nurse and when she was ever ill was the hardest to convince to get any medical treatment..As i have found with many in that field... I cant tell you what you should or should not do, but seems there is a lot of emotion going on in many different areas at the moment and getting a little more professional advice from a third party may be a better option at this moment in time :) and its making sure your not trying to fill a gap so to speak, i know your intentions seem genuine for your friend, but still feel a professional third party might be a better option at this moment in time :)



Anngables
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04 Mar 2016, 1:24 pm

Thank you Uncle -I appreciate your reply and advice as always, and you make some very good points that I have indeed pondered myself. My situation with my husband has been ongoing for the last 4yrs and I have sought and had counselling during this time. This friendship has evolved over the past yr, so I think we have both at times been anxious and confused as to where it's leading or,what we feel. It adds another dimension to the complications of being 2 humans with very different brain workings . . .. .. But I also know it is something special and I also know my friend is very happy to have met me. We are both mature and responsible, and I'm sure we will find a way forward in whatever form it may take . . .. . This week has been good, and he has been communicating with me lots. Life is a complicated beast it seems. Take care of,yourself and look forward to talking more. I always appreciate your input.



Uncle
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05 Mar 2016, 12:30 am

Thank you, would have liked to maybe see a little more input from a few others, seems when i post it often goes very quiet thereafter! lol... But all the same, i hope things work out in the right way for all involved, and always a PM away if needing third party opinion! lol