Hate the stress of love and dating

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I agree completely. It is not worth the stress, obsessive thoughts, elevated emotions (which means even harder to regulate) and the heartache. Not worth it imo. It just ends up as a needless distraction that will potentially ruin your life.

Okay, I'm not that negative about it. Online dating does work for a lot of people.

Also what stresses me out if if the person does actually like me back. Now what!? I don't know what to do.

Boo was saying that if someone fancies someone else they will go out of their way to show it, maybe not even deliberately, like a moth to a flame they are drawn to the other person. I'm not like that. I get stressed. I panic when I am near that person and I don't want to blush bright red in front of them, so I won't talk to them. If they talk to me, ok I'll make an effort to talk back, but I don't have the confidence to go up and talk to someone. My mind just goes blank.

In my case, I am more likely to be interested in you if I am deliberately trying to avoid you.

Then faint just in front of him, let him catch you.

Do you have his phone nb?

Oh Ha Ha!

No I don't. You're easier to contact and you live in Beruit aka half way across the world.

Also, this thread is general complainings and musings, not just about one guy.

Actually, I am half way across the world from everyone on this site.

So... Does not one else fond this stuff unbearably stressful?

90% of L&D threads are full of venting and complaining about how stressful love and dating are.

I don't find it stressful really, because I'm happy to be single. So it's not a thing I *need* to get right or worry about. Especially online dating. I set up a profile and let it sit there or play around on the site, and if a fish bites, it bites, and we go from there. If not, no big deal.

I do hear of a lot of people stressing out when they have sent someone a message and they aren't getting a reply. And how it is considered rude to not reply, even to say "sorry not interested". To me this indicates the whole thing is being taken too seriously. Personally, I'll send a message then basically forget that I did. If they don't reply, I won't notice. If they do, great! (Unless they reply to say they are not interested. That's kind of annoying, I didn't need to know that. But that almost never happens, it's usually just no reply.) I mean sure, there are some people who seem really interesting and I will remember them and hope I get a reply, but that's the extent of it - vague hope. I don't think it can be anything but detrimental to be any more serious about it than that.

In the real world, well, it is disappointing that I suck at meeting people, but it's not "stressful". Now if I needed a job and was struggling to find one, yes, that is stressful. That's a thing I need, and I need to impress potential employers, so it's more serious. But then again, I've done just as well in job hunting when I've decided not to worry about it much and just be myself. So again, taking it too seriously has not been useful.

I guess I'm lucky that I enjoy dating for its own sake. It's a shame that so many people don't actually enjoy the process, and are only interested in the result. Because yes, a lot of time and effort may need to be put into the process. I mostly enjoy doing this, so I suppose that already puts me in a better position.

If love and dating causes you so damn much stress, stop dating. There's an easy solution to your problem.

Hi Katy I shall ignore the venom. :p

Yellowtamarin It's the initial getting to know people that stresses me. Even in work situations dealing with clients and having meetings stresses me, even though I enjoy the actual work itself. Dealing with colleagues and trying to figure out their expectations of what I'm meant to be doing stresses me.

I hate trying to make new friends too. Meeting new people stresses me. I like it when I've known someone a couple of years and we have comfortable, easy conversation, but sometimes even then I don't know if they actually like me or if I'm bothering them. But the small talk at the beginning is painful and sometimes very boring.

I don't have a lot of self confidence.

That was the best response to katy.