I'm done

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Nothing... Nothing ever happens. Men never want to talk to me. Apart from one friend years ago who I knocked back not realising what I was saying no to.

Love just seems like a huge lie to me. I would settle for a good male friend to get honest, at least that would be nice.

That would be cool.

You seem pretty reasonable. You seem to have a good value system.

I think this could happen for you, should you place yourself in the right situations.

I've tried to stop being shy online, this practice has been very helpful in overcoming shyness irl.

The whole "all you have to do is be a female and men will flock to you" thing is rubbish. Sure there is a population of women out there who draw men to them. But there are also plenty who don't. I can only remember one time in my life that a guy has come up to me in public to flirt with me (apart from at a bar or club). If you go about your daily life in a certain manner, which I think many aspies do, where you give off a vibe that you are not interested in being approached...you won't be approached. Life will just carry on and love will be unlikely to find you.

What is my point? Basically that (again apart from my partying days when I went to bars and pubs) I had to put effort into creating opportunities for men to engage with me. These included online dating and finding a meetup group where similar-minded people gather. Almost all of the attention I get from guys is from online dating, then a small amount from the meetup group, then a tiny tiny percentage from other places (like maybe a guy I work or study with). If I didn't bother with online dating, and didn't try to find an activity that suits my personality, I would get verrrry little attention from guys*.

You mentioned something about who would want to date a really quiet person? A friend of mine married a super duper quiet person. They met at church. So again, there was an environment of like-minded people created. It makes attraction much more likely than in generic situations like at the supermarket or at the gym, where basically anyone could be there.

Another thing I do (which just comes naturally) is put in equal effort with the opposite sex. If I'm not approaching them, I can't really blame them for not approaching me! At this meetup group, I've done just as much of approaching guys as they have of me. Basically if I meet someone I like, I try to show interest in them. I ask people out (and yes, get rejected. Everyone does.). I make it less about "how come guys aren't interested in me?" and more about "hmm who might I be interested in?". As I'm interested in aspie-types, it's likely that they could be sitting there feeling that nobody in interested in them! Why shouldn't I be the one to make the first move?

I'm not saying you're not trying these things (apart from online date which I'm pretty sure sure you said you haven't and won't try), but if you aren't, my suggestion is that you do. Of course you don't have to and if you want to give up on love, that's fine too, I hope it makes you happier



*that I know of. I might not realise when a guy is paying attention to me in day-to-day life, and you might have this problem too.

Schultz really had a thing for the ladies.

I am on the cusp of giving up as well.

Nobody in Houston has the same interests as me. Even if there were, I would be rejected by them for not being liberal. But thanks to Trump, I don't identify as conservative either.

Droopy Dog never gives up!

Ok, I agree with everything Yellow Tamarin said.

My biggest problem is myself. I just don't believe that anyone could be interested in me. Plus I've been on my own so long that it feels weird to imagine that anything might happen that would change that. I can talk quite freely to people as long as I don't have a crush on them. That's when I clam up. I feel unbearalby stupid if I approach them, like they must be thinking why does this weird girl think she has a chance with me. It doesn't matter who it is. It's not the guy's fault, I just always think that they can't like me.

I still wish though that I didn't feel like a want to have a partner. I guess it's a basic human desire, but I can't seem to fulfil that. Other people seem to manage so easily. I don't know how they manage. It's a huge mystery to me.