People bore me
The OP might want to consider that the point of conversation is not only to communicate new information, or to convince with logic. The refrains are repeated while the REAL communication is going on at the level of body language and social signaling. You might find yourself able to engage your attention on NTs better if you analyze the interactions at the meta-level; try reading something like _A Field Guide to Earthlings_.
Or it could just be that you've outgrown your friends, and need to find a sphere where you are surrounded with women smarter than yourself. Grad school maybe? Or Mensa? Then you can rule out the possibility that it's not women who are dumb, but you who might be too dumb to understand women.
I often find people boring too. But I've taken an oath to myself that I'm going to find a way to have friends. It's been about a year. I can understand that you don't expect to meet others like yourself. I'm doing the whole thing as a learning experience. I have some social skills (which fade after an hour) and I make a big smile and get out there and be a people watcher. My entire focus is on the boring people. There are patterns and watch how they change if somebody joins the group or if somebody leaves it. I'm not saying you should psychoanalyse friends. It's just that when I get the big picture, they are no longer boring.
Or it could just be that you've outgrown your friends, and need to find a sphere where you are surrounded with women smarter than yourself. Grad school maybe? Or Mensa? Then you can rule out the possibility that it's not women who are dumb, but you who might be too dumb to understand women.
Women aren't dumb. I don't think that. And, I don't think anyone is dumb, per se. I think that largely, people are unaware of their world and it's patterns. Interesting point regarding body language and social cues. I haven't thought about it like that. But, I still don't understand how that makes 'listening to a record' more entertaining. I'll take your advice and check out what you recommended. Thanks
I've read many books and watched videos on body language. In general situations, it becomes somewhat easy for me to watch a group and understand what is going on, but for me to speak with people and make the same conclusions is always difficult. I make a lot of misreads as body language is very complex. You kind of sound like me. I can entertain and be very charming, but for a limited amount of time and then I'm gassed. Thank you for your input. I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone.
Back up a second, please. Can you explain this part?
Sure. I never got tested. I'm in no position to. If I do, then I am going to be barred from re-enlistment in the military.
I have HFA and Aspie friends, and I get along with them far better than your average joe. Further, I know a psychologist who suspects he is on the spectrum who has a child with HFA. Speaking with him has made me realize that I am not so different. He is currently battling cancer, or I would ask him to diagnose me in secret.
I've spent many nights researching and taking tests. I have come to the conclusion that I am on the spectrum, but to what degree I do not know. I currently work at a prestigious school that is full of those on the spectrum and I feel right at home. It is like a sanctuary and I feel welcomed for the most part.
If you want details, then you could look up the posts I've made and I'm sure you would come to a similar conclusion based on my entire life being as it is.
Further, I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar as a child, since my mother had it and my grandmother pressed the psychologists to 'find something wrong' with me. So, I know I'm not 'normal', but to what degree is the question.
I often find that most people bore me. Not for any reason other than I am just not interested in most of them or, what they are interested in.
I get bored because my mind wants to work differently.
I can't go to parties for a variety of reasons, or engage in most social activities for those same reasons:
1.) Poor social interaction
2.) Not interested in most things other people can blab about for hours.
3.) Overstimulation and sensory overload
3A.) Overstimulation----reaction to social input/inability to regulate
3B.) Sensory Overload----noise, lights, smells, personal space violated
4.) All of the above leads to either acting out or shutting down
These are my problems. Not other people's.
_________________
Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.
RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8
I feel like some of my relatives do this to me. They think that what I'm saying has a different meaning to it. If I try to explain it to them again they think that I'm arguing with them, but most of the time I would just want them to understand me.
I guess it makes things easier to emotionally handle if you tell yourself it is they that bore you and not the other way around.
People "never understood me", but the reality was I tossed around word salads. What I wrote or said barely made any sense even to other Aspies. I also spoke too much and intensely for anybody to take in whatever message I was trying to convey. There was no superior logic to that, I was simply wired up different from my peers.
Maybe you'll feel differently in the future OP but for now bare in mind human relationships outside of work and projects are rarely formed through logic. Humans are fallible, too, so your logic can never be absolute. Allow yourself to be wrong once in a while and you never know, those "boring" people may just surprise you.
_________________
Yours sincerely, some dude.
"I feel like some of my relatives do this to me. They think that what I'm saying has a different meaning to it. If I try to explain it to them again they think that I'm arguing with them, but most of the time I would just want them to understand me."
No matter how calm and cvil I remain, this appears to be the case. I have to repeat what I say but with different words if I feel they don't understand what I'm trying to say, but this makes them frustrated as they feel I'm just saying the same thing over and over again. Their first interpretation of my words is usually wrong, and they assume I'm just repeating my message over and over again but in differeny ways, but I'm actually trying to change what I say to the correct message.
The second I get even slightly angry or agitated (long after they've become angry, mind you) they hypocritically believe I've gone too far and am trying to start an argument and criticize me for getting angry at them, when I remained calm since the beginning and they snapped at me quite early after the conversation began.
OP:
Many of us just get too logical and complicated in our thoughts and opinions to the point others can't understand us.
I think most people aren't as simple-minded as they appear to be, but are perfectly capable of speaking of extremely complex thoughts, it's just that it's harder to unlock for some than for others.
I can easily bring up 'deep' and unusual topics with relative ease when prompted, but in my observations most others require additional effort.
Most people will engage in 'deep conversation' with someone they have built significant trust with, at times such as late at night, midnight or 1-3am, on the front porch, or lying on the grass, looking up at the stars, or lying on a comfortable patch looking at the clouds and in the sun.
Some people actually need to be drunk or high to unlock that side to them.
This is where the 'deep, philosophical stoner' stereotype comes from for Marijuana smokers.
Even then I've observed the majority of people still express these thoughts with simplistic words and speech; perhaps so that the other person may understand.
So, OP, I think perhaps you're on the easier side of things, and can bring up complicated discussions easily.
However, at the same time, just because most people cannot articulate their thoughts with language as formal as your own, does not mean they are 'illogical' or 'dumb'.
It's quite possible the opposite is true, and that your methods of communication are overly-complex and you cannot articulate your thoughts in a clearer, cohesive manner that others will understand.
Even scientific and mathematic professors may speak in fairly casual and down-to-earth language.
People like Einstein and such still spoke in a basic, yet relatable and normal, way.
In other words, accept people for what they are - simple.
I've actually theorized sometimes we all act 'stupider' or 'simpler' than we really are because we assume it's the norm.
Truth is I've been disappointed many times that some people who look and behave as dumb as a brick turn out to be pretty dense.
But, on the other hand, sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised when I see there's more to some than meets the eye.
We keep it "simple" so we can communicate optimally.
Sometimes, people have difficulty with complex discourse at first--they have to be "lead into it" so to speak. They have to rise to "another level" gradually. All this could happen within the same conversation.
This is especially true if the recipient of the discourse is interested in the subject.
If one only talks to one's self all the time, and expects the other person to be precisely like one's self, things get boring very quickly.
The following is not personal or at least not meant in a derogatory manner. Just some musings of the validity of the thought process you set out (original hypothesis if you will).
Given the above statement by A.E., your thinking may be flawed. Also: you may be in an environment where common sense is not quite as common - so please take the lack of additional informative parameters into consideration when evaluating the following musings and feel free to apprise me of such parameters if you feel it would help me to better understand your conundrum.
Initial statement: No one is sufficiently intelligent to grasp my hightened logic. Counter: if one was as intellectually gifted to reach this new level of logic and perception, said person would/should be able to explain it in a manner that could convince others of its validity.
Ergo, we have at least two possible explanations: (i) the assumption that the logic is 'more complete' is flawed or (ii) necessary verbal skills to properly and adequately communicate said logic are lacking.
If every single individual one encounters does not follow / cannot grasp / cannot agree with this manner of thinking, would it not be prudent to assess one's own thought process before simply assuming the problem lies solely with 'everyone else'?
For the sake of argument - if you are accurate in the assessment of your logic: there are a number of highly (at least adequately) intelligent people in any given location, how would you explain not having crossed paths with a single one of them? Or, if you did cross paths with one such individual, why were you unable to bring your point across in a structured and understandable fashion?
It just seemed to me that your reasoning is based on many unverified assumptions, which in itself is illogical, in my most likely quite 'basal' way of thinking. Unless of course, said assumptions were actually verified, in which case I would love to hear how this was done (could be interesting).
Cheers!
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,098
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Please the self instead of being emotionally co-dependent on another organism in this microcosm. The PROBLEM isn't that I'm bored of humans...but rather the words I use tend to be metaphorical, abstract and non-linear. If one uses informal language, then one will see that one won't be perceive as an "alien" -- hence the term "down to earth" instead of being from another planet, but WE sort of are lol.
Analyze people and observe their behavioral patterns, temperaments, thought patterns, speech patterns, etc. I'm a spontaneous f**k, so I share observations on my experience that my sensory input and output picks up, but I shift the pitch of my voice in different keys, since I play piano and guitar. Increase your dopamine levels, I heard it's associated with levels of creativity.
I know this is an old discussion that hasn't be updated in almost a year but people also bore me so the subject caught my attention as did the above quote.
Why would anyone want to connect to people he finds boring?
Compiling a list of reasons may help solve the problem.
because people form their own opinions and shouldn't rely on some arrogant plonker on the internet to tell them who is worth their time?
are you sure you worded that right?
why was this even bumped.
_________________
הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.
People bore you because they can't comprehend your more complete understanding during your social interactions. Maybe you should seek out some forum populated with those that possess your understanding and/or those that have more in depth than your own. If 1% of the population have any chance of comprehending your logic you should expect 99% of your social interactions to fall short, unless you seek out a forum based on your own intelligence quotient filled with 1% of the population. In short, if you want satisfying intellectually stimulating social interactions you must actively seek them out. This logic is likely coming from a much less informed and generally inferior understanding than your own.
_________________
“Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” ― Bertrand Russell
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