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Outrider
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01 Apr 2016, 6:04 am

N.T' courtship is silly and they play mind games with each other such as hard to get and such.

There is actually no evidence whatsoever that she is not interested with him and actually a lot of evidence to the contrary.

Of course she is going to defend her friend, but the fact she openly encourages or is at least not opposed to his actions indicates she enjoys the thrill of being chased.

Sorry, OP, but you've probably already lost if she defended him like that.

I think many females would feel uncomfortable or ignore or drive away a male friend who tries to pursue her if she isn't interested in him - it's very inappropriate to pursue people of the opposite sex you are 'just friends' with and it'll make most people uncomfortable.

Especially if this 'nice guy' is making his feelings so obvious that she would know.

Make a move OP and get in there just in case there's still hope for you left.



TheSpectrum
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01 Apr 2016, 6:07 am

Yigeren wrote:
Both of the people you are describing sound really annoying. Why would you be interested in a girl like that?

Looks?

CryptoNerd, I think you should take a course of action before you become either one of the popular tropes that Boo so eloquently pointed out.

Ask this girl out. It doesn't have to be directly, it could be just for a date or to hang out somewhere.
There's a lot of signs that she actually likes the guy you're shooting down, and this is the only way you'll know for sure where you stand.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Apr 2016, 6:44 am

Quote:
I said to him "You just won't take no for an answer, will you?" She told me "It's okay. We're friends."


Translation: "It's not you who decides what to respond to my friend".



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Apr 2016, 6:46 am

Yigeren wrote:
Both of the people you are describing sound really annoying. Why would you be interested in a girl like that?


Only both? :mrgreen:



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01 Apr 2016, 7:36 am

You should tell him that he is overstepping boundaries, can you tell the person that runs the group that his behaviour is making you feel uncomfortable? You need to do it in a way that is helpful to him, he might not understand how his actions are perceived by others.



CryptoNerd
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01 Apr 2016, 9:32 am

TheSpectrum wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
Both of the people you are describing sound really annoying. Why would you be interested in a girl like that?

Looks?

CryptoNerd, I think you should take a course of action before you become either one of the popular tropes that Boo so eloquently pointed out.

Ask this girl out. It doesn't have to be directly, it could be just for a date or to hang out somewhere.


Well, I don't actually "want" her. I just have a crush on her. Sort of like a lot of women have crushes on Justin Bieber. That doesn't mean they actually want to be with him. I just don't want to see her with this guy because he's being a dick.



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Apr 2016, 9:35 am

^ You are not her father.



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Apr 2016, 9:44 am

But you can teach him a lesson with your Batmobile, use the red button.



Yigeren
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01 Apr 2016, 9:48 am

It doesn't sound to me like she thinks he's being a dick. She defended him. She says he's her friend. She's not trying to avoid him.

When guys bother me, I don't think they are my friends. I don't defend them. I try to get away. I may not be assertive enough, but if some other guy came to my defense, I wouldn't go making excuses for the other guy. She probably likes the attention.

You are probably being distracted by her looks and letting that make you think that she's nice or a sweet girl that needs defending.



TheSpectrum
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01 Apr 2016, 10:10 am

So if you like her, but don't want her, who can be with her?

You don't own this person or anyone else. And she didn't seem bothered by this guy talking to her. So what's the problem?

They're not doing anything wrong.


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Tequila
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01 Apr 2016, 10:44 am

Personally, I would leave them to it. They clearly like each other so let them get on with it.



kraftiekortie
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01 Apr 2016, 10:51 am

They'll be other girls.



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01 Apr 2016, 11:10 am

Why don't you just ask her if he is bothering her. If she asked why, just say you noticed some behaviour that looked as though he was being too aggressive and you were worried that he might be pressuring to her do something she was not comfortable with.

1) It's sweet and gentlemanly, you will get respect from her for asking.
2) You will get a solid answer from her, giving you a better understanding of the situation on a whole.
3) Gives you something to talk about
4) With knowing both sides of the story, you can then decide on an appropriate action to take, instead of just relying on what the guy told you; namely that "it is ok because they are just friends", which I have seen translated into "back off, I am trying to f**k her" wayyyyyy to many times (which is definitely not cool and should piss you off)


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02 Apr 2016, 8:58 am

CryptoNerd wrote:
Thing is, she's actually not an NT. The clubhouse is for mentally ill people.


What is the name of this place? Where are you living? I have never heard of clubhouses for mentally ill people...is it part of a mental hospital?



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02 Apr 2016, 10:30 am

Cryptonerd,

I hope that you've noticed how everyone is defending the actions of your "crush" and not your actions. It would seem that the overall consensus is against you, with the general suggestions that you either act more boldly or walk away.

Either way, it's her choice, not yours, as to whom she is friends with and how she treats them.

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AR15000
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02 Apr 2016, 6:02 pm

CryptoNerd wrote:
Thing is, she's actually not an NT. The clubhouse is for mentally ill people.





That's immaterial. She choose him despite his obnoxious behavior. Take a hint: Be confident and persistent next time around!