Sexual compatibility or common interests?

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Would you rather have sexual compatibility or share common interests?
Sexual compatibility 49%  49%  [ 18 ]
Common interests 51%  51%  [ 19 ]
Total votes : 37

androbot01
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02 Apr 2016, 7:08 am

slenkar wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
If two people are only interested in each other because of sex, it gets boring REALLY fast.

I'd rather have common interests with a woman. This would ease the way towards sexual compatibility if we are not already sexually compatible.



This


I don't think you can "ease the way towards sexual compatibility." You either have it or you don't.

I couldn't care less about a partner's interests. As long as he's nice and there's an attraction.



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02 Apr 2016, 7:16 am

I chose sexual compatibility because I don't think common interests are that important in relationship. People in a relationship should be emotionally close but they don't need common interests.



kraftiekortie
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02 Apr 2016, 7:55 am

The way you "ease the path towards sexual compatibility" is to get to know your partners likes and dislikes when it comes to making love. Get to know your partner in this area.

Familiarity breeds comfort, not contempt, in this case.

What are her "sweet spots?" How much caressing can she tolerate? At what intensity? Does she like certain things--or not? Know that little lick, or little nip, that will bring her towards orgasm, and where.

And also: being inspired to please her because you really dig her as a person.



androbot01
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02 Apr 2016, 8:09 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
The way you "ease the path towards sexual compatibility" is to get to know your partners likes and dislikes when it comes to making love. Get to know your partner in this area.

Familiarity breeds comfort, not contempt, in this case.

What are her "sweet spots?" How much caressing can she tolerate? At what intensity? Does she like certain things--or not? Know that little lick, or little nip, that will bring her towards orgasm, and where.

And also: being inspired to please her because you really dig her as a person.
That sounds very mechanical to me. I like sex to be about wanting to be as close to the other person as possible.



kraftiekortie
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02 Apr 2016, 8:17 am

It ain't mechanical at all.

You'd just have to "be there" if you don't believe me LOL

If I felt it was mechanical, I wouldn't be able to function.

And if she felt it was mechanical, nothing would happen because she wouldn't be ready.



rdos
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02 Apr 2016, 8:18 am

None of it. I want a nice, protective and dependable person that doesn't like ordinary sex. It would be nice to share interests, but it's not a requirement. You can always get new shared interests once you are together.



kraftiekortie
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02 Apr 2016, 8:24 am

And I'm a "do rather than talk about it" kind of person.

I go by instinct.

If she's not desirious for me at that moment, then it becomes like shoving a steel rod into an iron donut.



rdos
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02 Apr 2016, 9:41 am

androbot01 wrote:
That sounds very mechanical to me. I like sex to be about wanting to be as close to the other person as possible.


Sex is a mechanical act aimed at reproducing. :mrgreen: :wink:



kraftiekortie
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02 Apr 2016, 9:46 am

In simplest terms, sex, yes, is a "mechanical act with reproduction as the aim."

But I don't have simple feelings about it.

I'll tell you one thing: animals seem really drawn to it--enough to frequently sustain frequent pain, hardship, and heartache in the pursuit of it.

I wish I knew whether female cats and dogs, say, experience the full pleasure of orgasm.



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02 Apr 2016, 10:45 am

If I don't have some sort of -something- intellectually in common with that person I will probably not develop sexual chemistry for that person.


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Feyokien
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02 Apr 2016, 11:23 am

All or nothing.



auntblabby
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02 Apr 2016, 12:46 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
In simplest terms, sex, yes, is a "mechanical act with reproduction as the aim." But I don't have simple feelings about it. I'll tell you one thing: animals seem really drawn to it--enough to frequently sustain frequent pain, hardship, and heartache in the pursuit of it. I wish I knew whether female cats and dogs, say, experience the full pleasure of orgasm.

from watching horses and dogs do it, it certainly seems plain that the males at least are enjoying orgasms in a howling whinnying way.



0_equals_true
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02 Apr 2016, 2:05 pm

sapioromantic / sapiosexual

However I don't care if they have different interests.



kraftiekortie
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02 Apr 2016, 3:47 pm

I'm very much of the Sapio persuasion as well.



nerdygirl
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02 Apr 2016, 10:22 pm

Sexual attraction and compatibility are two different things.
I believe some attraction is important. But you don't necessarily have to have butterflies in your stomach every time you look at your SO.
Compatibility comes with the relationship as you learn about one another's bodies and explore things together. This takes TIME. That is why, in a HEALTHY marriage, sex actually gets better as time goes on.

Putting so much emphasis on sex is a bad idea. First of all, sex is better with someone when you've actually "practiced" together. So, thinking you can try someone out to see if your compatible is a loser's bet.
Second, a real commitment to someone means that you stick with them through thick and thin. If a relationship is based on sex, then what happens when an illness or an injury makes your SO unable to perform in bed? Are you just going to drop him or her?

In the long run, something other than sex must keep a couple together. Mutual interests help, and I would choose those over "compatibility". But, ultimately, it is about growing together and being committed. That encompasses everything - the physical relationship, shared interests, and a willingness to help the other person grow and discover new things as well.



animalcrackers
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02 Apr 2016, 10:31 pm

Sex is not that important to me so I'd say common interests.

But really, what matters to me is how I feel about someone and how we get along-- enjoying their company and feeling comfortable with them, being able to communicate and understand each other, feelings of love and caring.


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