Involuntary Celibacy

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28 Apr 2007, 8:03 pm

I think "involuntary celibacy" is a load of crap. It's just another lame-ass "disease" that was made up by a bunch of idiots. It's rubbish like this that makes people think AS is not a real disorder.

calandale
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28 Apr 2007, 8:20 pm

I don't see it as a disease, but it is a nice, easily
verifiable condition. Though I don't like the term.
Celibacy should only refer to marriage.

Flismflop
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29 Apr 2007, 3:18 am

Fifteen years for me without a girlfriend, even though I've tried. There have been a couple times when women expressed their desire of my affection, but then it turned out that friends of mine were already farther afield than me. I'm now 36. I think I've broken the world record for duration for unexplained involuntary celebacy. Hopefully it will subside this year though, if I can figure out proper ways of focussing my attention and behaving "just right".

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MrSinister
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29 Apr 2007, 8:18 am

I'm 28 this December, which will make my dry spell have lasted... 28 years.

I have never had an intimate relationship, and the few occasions (less than ten, I think) where I've decided to put my neck on the line to establish one have ended in little more than embarrassment and self-recrimination. This hasn't exactly done wonders for my self-confidence...

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Why so serious?

MikeH106
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29 Apr 2007, 11:59 am

Yes, I feel involuntarily celibate.

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Kilroy
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29 Apr 2007, 12:16 pm

MrSinister wrote:

mine has only lasted 18...I feel the same way as you do though

Xenon
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29 Apr 2007, 12:18 pm

I recall a friend once telling me that anyone can get laid -- all they have to do is set their standards low enough. And of course there's always the money-for-sex option, as Aspie1 points out.

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Kilroy
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29 Apr 2007, 12:22 pm

Xenon wrote:

I recall a friend once telling me that anyone can get laid -- all they have to do is set their standards low enough. And of course there's always the money-for-sex option, as Aspie1 points out.

yes but I'd rather not pay for it-I can't even think of someone I like during the act (self pleasure)

calandale
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29 Apr 2007, 8:23 pm

I'd rather be alone than lower my
standards OR pay.

Kilroy
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29 Apr 2007, 8:25 pm

same

Xenon
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29 Apr 2007, 8:29 pm

calandale wrote:

I'd rather be alone than lower my standards OR pay.

And that is why I can't take the concept of "involuntary celibacy" all that seriously -- if people will deliberately choose to exclude an option that would otherwise result in them getting sex, then they're choosing not to have sex, which means their celibacy is no longer involuntary.

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calandale
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29 Apr 2007, 8:35 pm

Xenon wrote:

calandale wrote:

I'd rather be alone than lower my standards OR pay.

Good point. I've certainly had chances, but either
not pursued them due to MY standards, or due to
my shyness. But this is the issue: I only seem to
be able to flirt with those that I've already decided
I have NO interest in. Thus, I'm not sure that my
situation fits well into either category.

Eclair
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29 Apr 2007, 9:43 pm

calandale wrote:

Celibacy should only refer to marriage.

This made me laugh. It's true.

Flismflop
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30 Apr 2007, 10:31 pm

Eclair wrote:

calandale wrote:

Celibacy should only refer to marriage.

This made me laugh. It's true.

Maybe you can explain it to me then, because I don't understand that at all.

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Eclair
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30 Apr 2007, 10:35 pm

Flismflop wrote:

Eclair wrote:

calandale wrote:

Celibacy should only refer to marriage.

This made me laugh. It's true.

Maybe you can explain it to me then, because I don't understand that at all.

I think Calandale was trying to be funny when he wrote it...well I thought it was funny anyway...

the meaning is that when you are married you tend to have sex less...and sometimes not at all...well that has been the way it has been for a lot of my friends anyway.

Does that make sense now? I'm not advocating it!

calandale
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30 Apr 2007, 11:05 pm

No. I meant that the ORIGINAL meaning of celibacy
referred to not getting married. Somehow, in today's
climate, it's been perverted to mean something
completely different.

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