What is the purpose of online dating if people are too far?

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Well it's a similar situation here too.

While I don't think my city is as big of a metro as Denver, it is a very small city/big town, in the centre of the region and is the region capital.

The only city in the region high up in the mountains, and down below it the surrounding areas are small country towns, small country towns, and more small country towns.

About half an hour east is a major/bigger town, and an hour east of that is the capital of the state, the literal 'big city'.

Even an 18 year old female who can drive, probably would not be interested in driving 1 1/2 hours west to meet some stranger she's only been talking to for a few days or weeks, and I certainly would have no intention of doing the same now, at 17, or at age 20 either.

In a city/major urban metropolis, the city is so damn big in the first place, you might be more willing to meet someone on the other side of town.

E.g. if you lived in Tokyo or NYC or whatever.

But what I'm referring to is cross-country highway travel.

I feel even more sorry for the poor suckers who actually live in the small towns surrounding my city.

There's a few people in these scattered towns on the dating websites I'm on, and they are usually the only member of the entire site living in that isolated town.

There options are someone from a town or city 30-60mins over in low-traffic conditions.

I never realized adults don't actually consider 1-2hrs to be a bit of a distance...

So, you're actually saying if you were single, and met some compatible guy in some small country town 50mins out of town you'd be willing to drive there just to meet him, or perhaps you would believe if he was willing enough to meet you, he would drive 50mins into the city just to meet up with you (or find other reasons to visit the city as well)?

If you refuse to make some effort to meet someone, then it's unfair to complain about not finding anyone. It's great if you can find someone compatible nearby. Many of us aren't so lucky.

Lol...

Well I'm still in the process of forcing myself to actually enjoy online friendships/interactions with others - some of us also aren't so lucky.

It's always seemed the universally popular opinion here that online communication is better than real-life.

Reasons included are you can take your time to respond, it's less awkward, you don't have to worry about real-life communication e.g. body language, gesture, speech, etc.

I personally like interacting on forums such as this one, but nothing beyond that.

My experiences of online friendships has been negative and, because most of my friends live far away now, the only way I can keep in touch with them is through the internet.

I'm happy and grateful the internet exists, but it's a blessing and a curse as even if I can communicate with friends far away, it's always a reminder they're so far and I may never see them again.

It has reached the point where I can not form attachments to anybody beyond acquiantance on the internet.

Something to do with all the things real-life interaction gives you - seeing their positive reactions to what you say, their body language, etc.

I'm saying online communication doesn't actually activate the dopamine and endorphin chemical reactions to my body to make me feel pleasure, unless it's someone I've been friends with in the real-world before.

Text on a screen and emotion icons don't compare to actually speaking to somebody in-person.

To meet people in real-life, I do make an effort, or have at least wanting to be for a long time now.

But the fact I can't really get into online dating is preventing me from broadening my potential dating pool.

There's no way to meet others in real-life in this city.

"It's great if you can find someone compatible nearby."

The question is actually finding anyone at all, let alone compatible.

Even after school is finished and on weekends the places I actually like to go to, don't really ever have any teen girls my age or they're clearly with a boyfriend, or an intimidatingly large mixed sex group, or I'm simply not visually attracted to her/her friends look like rowdy a55høles.

And I've scoured the internet and there aren't particularly many teens here with online profiles either.

It's not even dating sites I'm targeting. Just once i'd actually like to meet somebody on the internet who can also say they actually live here, aside from family who do and old friends from high school on facebook.

So I feel I have every right to complain if the situation feels so hopeless and bleak to me.

What other advice do you have then if you still believe I haven't been trying?

I volunteer, and go out twice a week with a disability social group for BBQ and swimming. Hobbies and interests are electronic music, swimming, health/fitness, reading, bar-going (when I am of age), video games.

The pools here are quite awful condition but even when I go because I take swimming very seriously trying to meet girls (or fricken anyone nice) is not my priority.

Because of my stupidly strict diet plan, I don't particularly like eating-out at restaurants or coffee outlets and only see it as a waste of money to eat/drink-out solo.

I will admit I kind of have a habit of over-exggareting just how bad it is to live here. It can be hard to meet new people in any place - but my chances would have been far higher if I lived on the coast or big city, which is where 90% of girls online 'near my area' are located anyway.

You are still too young to try far relationships.

You still have a lot of opportunities, school, university....after that it gets much harder.

Yes, contrary to what most would advise you, don't wait until you graduate (without neglecting your studies) - because after that it becomes much harder.

Most of my university colleagues got married to those they met and dated back at the univ.

Thing is I'm currently not going, but I will once I figure out what I want to do.

Considering my interest is electronic music, there is a diploma in electronic music production in the big city but we've got to be living there first.

It would be cool as I'd actually meet people with similar interests.

And yeah, there's no purpose trying to talk to girls in the big city 1-2 hrs away because it would be difficult to meet them.

To get to the big city is a 2 hr cross-country drive - why bother?

Sometimes it's not about 'not making an effort', but is making an effort 'worth it'?

I finally did get my Learner's license, so I can technically drive a car legally with supervision from someone full liscened. So there's that nifty little advantage I've earned for myself.

My main reason for online dating was because I was far to shy to ever be able to talk to anyone new in real life. They would never be able to see my personality

I acidentally send off a 'please don't talk to me vibe' and found the only way to get over this was to get to know someone before meeting them.

Listen to Face of Boo, try dating in college, after that the difficulty spike goes way up.

This advice is coming from someone who is successfully dating online, though it won't be online for much longer.

I'm 'mainstream'? Never gotten that one before.

I like electronic music, but most of the stuff I listen to is classic '90s Trance, not many trance fans left today, at least young ones, and modern Trance (again, relatively on the less-mainstream side of things).

Every young person today i meet who likes electronic only seems to like either Dubstep (decent at best) or generic mainstream house (which I mostly dislike). I'm not a trendy festival bro who likes popping pills and listening to cr*p 'bass music' drunk/high, never will be.

I enjoy working out casually, but am not a gymbro and that'll never be my goal. Amatuer bodybuilding is trendy here among young males, but they usually try to get ridiculously big and beefy. Not my goal. I don't even want to have to deal at all with their elitist attitude, because all the time I observe them criticize their skinnier male friends for being weak. I'm not f*cking weak, mate, I'm lean.

Swimmers typically have the 'thin-but fit' physique: http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008- ... 081592.jpg

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2008/08 ... 01_650.jpg

The popular sport here is rugby football and AFL (other kind of football), Swimming unsurprisingly isn't all that big.

I enjoy basketball and parkour as well, and they're mildly popular i guess.

Hmm...what else is popular here? Indie music, not my type.

What I consider mainstream, is being a nerd/geek. It's considered 'cool' today to be one but I am not really one at all. Being a 'hipster' is also in-style and I don't relate to them either.

I've never felt like I had a crowd, because even if I'm slightly into fantasy, sci-fi and superheroes, the nerds are too nerdy for me, even if I'm sporty and like trendy music, the bro's are too broish for me, even if I like environmentalism, New Agism, spiritualism, etc. the hippies are too hippy for me (aka can't accept a meat-eater because they're vegans), even if I like anachro-socialism, conspiracy theories, etc. the conspiracy theorists are too crazy for me, even if I am a musician and make my own music, other musicians are either too different or too snobby.

Might seem silly of me to be thinking so black-and-white, but many people I have met were never much beyond a specific stereotype e.g. nerd, jock, etc. and this is what made me struggle to relate to them.

I guess...a positive is I can get along with a more diverse range of people....to an extent....