How often are women flirted with or asked out?

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Spiderpig
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21 Apr 2016, 5:01 pm

I'd say whether it's flattering depends on the flirter.

Given my complete lack of experience, my perception of women hasn't made much progress relative to that of the typical teenager. They still look like magical creatures to me, and I'm not comfortable trying to flirt---whatever this actually means---with someone whose cute little finger alone is worth much more than my whole obese body.


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Alliekit
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21 Apr 2016, 5:13 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
I'd say whether it's flattering depends on the flirter.

Given my complete lack of experience, my perception of women hasn't made much progress relative to that of the typical teenager. They still look like magical creatures to me, and I'm not comfortable trying to flirt---whatever this actually means---with someone whose cute little finger alone is worth much more than my whole obese body.


I find that last comment both very sweet and sad. I wish you had more confidence as telling a girl how wonderful she seems would flatter her hahaha. I think of flirting as like compliments and sweet compliments are far better than crude ones :)



Aristophanes
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21 Apr 2016, 5:27 pm

Alliekit wrote:
Spiderpig wrote:
I'd say whether it's flattering depends on the flirter.

Given my complete lack of experience, my perception of women hasn't made much progress relative to that of the typical teenager. They still look like magical creatures to me, and I'm not comfortable trying to flirt---whatever this actually means---with someone whose cute little finger alone is worth much more than my whole obese body.


I find that last comment both very sweet and sad. I wish you had more confidence as telling a girl how wonderful she seems would flatter her hahaha. I think of flirting as like compliments and sweet compliments are far better than crude ones :)

Just feel lucky you can flirt. A lot of autistics have problems with it for multiple reason: 1. don't catch cues 2. don't know how to respond to cues 3. responds to cues in the most aspie way possible 4. likes the compliments but can't trust them because of previous social abuses of the flirting ritual 5. Not sure what it's all about/why people do it (yes, seriously, I've seen that one).



Alliekit
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21 Apr 2016, 7:25 pm

Aristophanes wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Spiderpig wrote:
I'd say whether it's flattering depends on the flirter.

Given my complete lack of experience, my perception of women hasn't made much progress relative to that of the typical teenager. They still look like magical creatures to me, and I'm not comfortable trying to flirt---whatever this actually means---with someone whose cute little finger alone is worth much more than my whole obese body.


I find that last comment both very sweet and sad. I wish you had more confidence as telling a girl how wonderful she seems would flatter her hahaha. I think of flirting as like compliments and sweet compliments are far better than crude ones :)

Just feel lucky you can flirt. A lot of autistics have problems with it for multiple reason: 1. don't catch cues 2. don't know how to respond to cues 3. responds to cues in the most aspie way possible 4. likes the compliments but can't trust them because of previous social abuses of the flirting ritual 5. Not sure what it's all about/why people do it (yes, seriously, I've seen that one).


I cant flirt to save my life and my friends say I'm completely oblivious to it but I can recognise a compliments. I also can't do flanter it just confuses me



sly279
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22 Apr 2016, 12:10 am

Alliekit wrote:
Personally for me not often :) It might be because I'm shy though but I wouldn't mind being flirted with more it's really flattering.

If they are fun flirting and not creepy or intense then it's perfectly fine so don't wprry about flirting with girls. Worst thing that will happen is they will be taken or it just doesn't work out

Its worth taking a chance :) :)

I don't know how to flirt and I've never been flirted with. Girls don't like me because they know I'm below them.

I dont approach women because I'm too afraid to be called a harasser or something.

As is I'm worried I'm going be fired tomorrow's because I talked to a femal coworker much we longer then needed to change shifts :s.



kraftiekortie
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22 Apr 2016, 12:12 am

You're not below anybody. You won't get fired.



Alliekit
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22 Apr 2016, 12:17 am

I agree with kraftiekortie nobody is below anybody!! And any woman who tells you different is not worth your time!



Sweetleaf
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22 Apr 2016, 1:36 am

Are we talking specifically about IRL? If that is the case I can say I've been asked out maybe 6 times in my life, and they weren't all the most pleasant experiences, or may have been up until a certain point where a relationship did not result or guy ended up scaring me away.

There was one I considered going on more dates, they seemed like a cool fellow cannabis user, then they started going on about Christianity and how its the one truth and the end of the world caused me to lose interest. Or this one I met at a bus stop and gave him my number intending to meet him next time I was around his area, but then he started non-stop texting me and started seeming aggressive when I told him to slow it down a little bit, and was angry at my insistence we needed to get to know each other before I could decide if I wanted a relationship with him.

Can't say exactly how many messages I've got on okcupid, or out of those which ones I'd count as being comparable to actually asking out, rather than seeming to want a hook up or ones that seemed suspiciously like scams. But I certainly wasn't getting new messeges every day or even every week.


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22 Apr 2016, 2:19 am

I've never been flirted with or asked out.



ZD
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22 Apr 2016, 2:30 am

I probably should clarify a bit :)

I got asked out twice this year because I joined okcupid and I meet them both 1 just was hell no on both sides (she basically wanted any man who would agree to have children with her in a years time). The other we mutually agreed to split up we only dated for 3 weeks but we both knew it wouldn't work as we wanted different things, but we still text and are friends.

Before that I have only been asked out three times in my whole life and one was when I was 5 :) The other 2 I dated 1 for over a year the other was my ex wife :roll:. So it's not a norm for me.

I have been told I flirt (by my exwife with an annoyed face :oops:) but I am not aware of it maybe it's a automatic thing?

I don't meet that many women though so not holding my breath on meeting someone.


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ZD
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22 Apr 2016, 2:32 am

Alliekit wrote:
Personally for me not often :) It might be because I'm shy though but I wouldn't mind being flirted with more it's really flattering.


I'd quite happily flirt with you lol :)


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rdos
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22 Apr 2016, 4:52 am

Asked out: Never been asked out or asked anybody out. Not my style
Flirted: A really successful flirt with multiple exchanges happens maybe like a few times a year at most. Then there are less serious things, and they happen a lot more often (mostly depending on how much I'm out).



sly279
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22 Apr 2016, 9:31 am

Alliekit wrote:
I agree with kraftiekortie nobody is below anybody!! And any woman who tells you different is not worth your time!

But that's no true. I'm not a real man.

And politicians and rich are above most people. Just like queens and kings are.

Most women won't date down.

I'm as down as can be unless I became homeless :(



Spiderpig
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22 Apr 2016, 10:41 am

Politicians are widely despised; they don't make a good example.


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22 Apr 2016, 12:57 pm

sly279 wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
I agree with kraftiekortie nobody is below anybody!! And any woman who tells you different is not worth your time!

But that's no true. I'm not a real man.

And politicians and rich are above most people. Just like queens and kings are.

Most women won't date down.

I'm as down as can be unless I became homeless :(


No, no, no! Kings and Queens and Politicians are all just people like us. No one is better than anyone else. We are all made from the same flesh and blood. We all arrive naked and we all decompose.

"All men are created equal"



Spiderpig
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22 Apr 2016, 1:26 pm

Let's see ...

1) Born equal.
2) Rotten equal (as long as no sufficiently-advanced-and-hence-indistinguishable-from-magic technology grants us immortality).

---------------------------------------------------------

Therefore, the difference is what you do in the middle. Some people do great things that make lasting changes in the world, turning it into a better place; others leave behind nothing but filth. That's why some are remembered, while others aren't. Might as well try to be one of the former, even knowing the odds are massively against you---it's not like you have anything to lose.


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