Serious issues with L&D Forum

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I say...

Let's do banning votes!

I'm glad we're having this discussion.

I think it clears the air somewhat.

I'm also glad Sly is participating, and is at least trying to listen to people.

Truthfully, I wish Sly had more exposure to the real world, rather than the world of the Internet. I'm not blaming Sly for not reaching out to the real world. But I really wish there was a way for him to make proper friends with real people.

Some people on L and D seem more interested in being right than in being reasonable, and bitterness/projection acts like acid on the whole forum. I think there are probably a number of members who wouldn't even consider posting here. L and D may need a new rule so that repeat offenders can't post in this forum for a set period of time, to cool off and reflect. Too many participants lose sight of the fact that this is a support forum, not an attack forum. Titles that bait/flame anyone who disagrees with an OP are also an ongoing problem. L and D may need its own dedicated moderator for a while to bring about change, because although a reactive approach can monitor individual forum abusers, if the forum as a whole has become corrupted, then a proactive approach and intensive management may be needed to re-set the ethos; to receive support people need to feel safe and respected and extend safety to others by their own respectful behaviour, but the current situation is that people get attacked merely for disagreeing with someone else.

I believe he would be better off if he met women in real life.

The Internet tends to be a hotbed of extreme opinions, even if the people posting the opinions are not actually that extreme in real life.

There should be more people meeting each other in person, rather than having the anonymity of the Internet.

My experience has been--and this pertains to racial prejudice as well--that actually meeting people does much to dissolve these prejudices. Before I knew many black people, for example, I had ingrained prejudices against black people based upon other people who have had no contact with them. At the age of 11, I shared a bunk in summer camp with three black kids. This changed my perspective forever. We became best buddies all through the summer.

There used to be a moderator or two who were predominantly hanging out in L&D.
While I liked them as people I observed that moderators becoming resident to only one section of the boards made them biased and created cliques. The way the mods are now is a lot better IMO.

Sorry. I'm not really contributing anything useful to this thread so far.

I'm not sure I understand what the rules are actually. And I may not be the only one, which is why we have problems.

Sometimes I think a throw away comment gets taken too seriously and is turned into a fight by a person jumping into a thread and making an issue about it.

Like I've made a joke with a couple of friends today about how "all men are weird" because of something that happened today. They know me well enough in a friendly context to know I'm joking. Of course I don't think all men are weird, but if id made the same joke on here I'd have been shot down.

I hope he didn't think that. I don't think he thought that.

You were actually trying to help him.

Basically, Sly misinterpreted the reason why you posted a certain thread in the Woman's Forum. He took it personally when he shouldn't have taken it personally. I believe this is what happened.

And then you got upset because you felt betrayed. Because you were taking your time out of studying for exams to help him

Let me emphasize: I think Sly's a nice guy. Sometimes, he just takes things the wrong way. And sometimes he gets stubborn.

He knows it was very misguided of him to make that "plague" thread. This is not Sly's take on the world at all.